Tips And Tools Of Communication For Parents With Teens

By Nigel Lane

In some respects, you do not know what parenting is until your children hit their teens. It's a whole new ball game. All of a sudden you realize that there is this huge gap between you and your kid and the more you try to fix it, the more it seems to broaden. Communication between you and your child seems to be dead. These are probably the toughest years!!

So what do you do to make it better?

Here are a few tips:

• Try and get into their heads. Do not assume that because you do not like something, your teen does not like it too.

• Remember to always be truthful to your teen. No matter how old your child grows, he/she looks at you as an example. If you want your teen to be truthful, you need to first be truthful.
Honesty is the best policy you can instil in to them

• Do not jump into advising; first listen to what your teen has to say. Be empathetic.

• Your job during their teens is to spur and encourage them. If you are one who keeps criticizing, they are never going to want to communicate with you.

• You need to be available for them whenever they need you. They may want to talk in the middle of the night, it is important that you talk to them when they are willing to talk.

• If you are wrong, apologize. It takes a big person to apologize. Your teen will respect you much more for it.

• Don't wait for your teen to ask you for help, sense it and then do your best to help them

• Respect your teen. Treat him/her like an adult. Give then their space.

• Remember to use words like "please", "thank you" and "I love you" frequently with your teens.

For a free special report with over 50 Parenting Tips just go to www.awesomeparents.com Nigel has met hundreds of parents and helped them to become more awesome than they were.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nigel_Lane

How to Improve Communication Skills at Lightning Speed

By Peter Murphy

Talking is the easy part; really communicating so that you say something worthwhile and people listen to understand your message as well can be more of a challenge. If you are to exchange useful information and react with people who are resistant to your communication through fear, anger or frustration, you need to know how to improve communications skills.

1. Don't take what people say personally and strike back at them angrily. There are many other reasons why people react as they do and they are not likely to be linked to you as a person so remember that, take a deep breath, count to ten, then you can react in a more calm fashion.

2. It is fine to admit that you don't know something. Communication so often suffers from half-truths and misunderstandings; don't pretend you know something when you don't as you could be wrong and that will lead to further communication problems.

3. Respond with factual information that will help when you are asked something, rather than reacting emotionally, which is subjective and can often be negative.

4. Provide a safe, non-emotional opportunity for people to air their views without you dismissing them or getting upset or angry.

5. Communication is a two-way process; everyone in the conversation must share responsibility for making sure that the conversation works. That means that the sender of the message needs to speak clearly and simply and the receiver of the message needs to say if they do not understand and ask for clarification.

6. Listen to the other person. Give them chance to speak so that they will feel respected. People care most about being heard than they want people to agree with them. You can show that you are listening actively by asking them questions to draw out more information from them or by summarizing back to them what you think they said and asking for them to confirm if you have understood correctly.

7. Assumptions, presuppositions and judgments can all get in the way of good communication. That is because once you believe you understood something that someone is saying to you, there is tendency to stop listening well. That can distort your perception of the communication, so you can improve your communication by checking that you have understood correctly what has been said.

8. If you need to cooperate with others to complete a project, you need to be sensitive to their frustrations and priorities so that you can compromise. If you don't compromise there will be anger and resentment that will get in the way of successful communication and completion of the project.

9. Seek common ground rather than differences between you. This is another reason why it is good to state the aim of the communication early on in your conversation so that you can check out what you both want to achieve.

10. Listen to the other person. Let them feel that they are a real partner in the communication and they will be better disposed towards helping the communication succeed. Also, you will be ale to learn from them in a way you can't if you are not really listening.

It's important that you know how to improve communication skills because in your life you will need to communicate with all manner of different people for a variety of reasons.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:
10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Murphy

Increase Your Intimacy By Increasing Your Communication

By Jennine E. Estes

Ask any happy couple what keeps the intimacy strong between them, and you’ll more than likely hear that communication is the foundation of a successful relationship. You wouldn’t try to drive a car without filling the gas tank, and you shouldn’t attempt to nurture a relationship not built upon honest, open communication. For example, take a couple that feels very much in love with one another: they spend time together every chance they get, they take classes together in school, they may even work in the same area of employment--sounds ideal, doesn’t it? Now take a look at how communication fits into the scheme of things: they don’t interact much because most times they do hang out, it’s very limited, after work, and they go to the movies where silence is golden; they are both attentive students and agree that socializing during class time is irresponsible and will be a burden on their future; they work at the same store, but being in different departments, this "ideal" couple rarely talk to one another on the job, many times being too exhausted from the day’s labor to connect one-on-one after punching out.

The point is just because a couple loves and cares for one another and/or spends a lot of time together doesn’t necessarily mean they have the positive communication essential to making their relationship work. Creeping doubts and insecurities such as past resentments (those of you "trying again" or "taking breaks"), feeling as if you aren’t being heard ("You never listen to me anymore!"), or even being heard but not listened to ("…but you don’t understand where I’m coming from.") can put a stranglehold on your relationship and intimacy by creating distance and irritability.

To remedy these common set-backs many of you experience in your daily relationships, you and your partner will want to start by creating a safe environment. In a safe environment couples feel more comfortable in expressing themselves without fear of judgment, criticism, feeling unheard, or not feeling supported. In order to establish healthy communication, try to avoid talking down to your partner or judging them for their actions: doing so only forces your partner to crawl further into his/her shell where you will find it much more difficult to get them to be open the next time around. Also, take your body language, facial expressions, and vocal tone into account when having a conversation with your loved one. If you are upset: uncross your arms, lose the glare, and steady your voice. If you find yourself nervous to the new improvement of open communication: relax--let your muscles be loose, smile--you have nothing to fear from positive communication, and speak up--a mumbling, indecisive partner is not attractive!

Effective Tips to Positive Communication

1. Ask and inform you partner about what your needs are: Your partner can’t read your mind, so don’t force them to try. Avoid sending hints or beating around the bush with "mind games"--they may seem cute and fun, but your partner might not always think so.

2. Make time during the day to talk to your partner: 30 minutes a day, preferably some time during the evening after you have both had time to wind down, find out what each other did during their day, share thoughts, experiences, etc. MAKE THIS HABITUAL!

3. Avoid critical and absolute words: Critical words are words which show judgment.--"Why did you…?" or "You shouldn‘t have done it that way." While absolute words form roadblocks to communication, preventing improvement-- "You will never…" or "You always…"

4. If you are upset, take time to release some of your stress: Be considerate of your partner by not taking out your frustrations on them. Try to journal, take a walking, or talk yourself through your thoughts to clear your head. Diffusion of small problems allows you to be more attentive and less reactive to your partner.

5. Remember and reinforce the concept of teamwork: Realize that in a healthy, loving relationship no one "wins" an argument; serious commitment means meeting your partner halfway. Attempt to resolve the issue as a team by finding a way to fix the situation through compromising and understanding.

6. Exhibit to each other that you both understand where the other person is coming from: Validate your partner’s feelings by having empathy, attempting to understand, and clarifying their thoughts. Ask questions to prove that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say. By summarizing what they are telling you, you are showing your partner that you are an attentive listener who is making the effort to ensure they are being understood.

Jennine E. Estes is a Marriage and Family Therapist Intern (IMF#47211) with a practice helping couples in conflict learn more effective ways to communicate and connect with one another. She is supervised by Mark Kaupp, Psy.D., MFC#33213 in Mission Valley of San Diego.
She helps couples build trust, learn how to recover from infidelity, and help them get back on track. For more information, please visit http://www.EstesTherapy.com

Essential Business Communication of Your Strategic Plan Delivers Ongoing Employee Motivation

By Leanne Hoagland-Smith

Would you stop watching a national playoff were the teams were tied before the winner was declared? Would you stop watching a horse race before the winning horse crossed the finish line? Of course not! Yet, many business leaders expect their employees to continue the game or the race without knowing if and when the game or race was won, loss or even a near win.

After 30 years in business focusing on performance improvement, I am still at a loss when companies do not regularly communicate progress toward the business goals as identified within the strategic plan especially when these same business leaders tell me that employee motivation is a problem. This attitude and behavior of not communicating business results negatively and directly affects the performance of all involved and is truly counter productive to achieving the desired results.

When we look at professional sports, everyone usually waits until the game is over because they want to know who won unless the game is a runaway. Even when teams are down in the last inning or in the last quarter, faithful fans stay at the arena or tuned into the television because one never knows when that grand slam or a 80 yard punt return might happen.

Is your business game any different? To ensure consistent and constant execution of your strategic plan demands essential business communication planning and skills. Business communication should be planned so that your employees are continually motivated toward achieving those business goals that you are the business leader have established.

To what purpose does it serve by not communicating the results of the current team's efforts? Are you afraid that someone may say something and reveal proprietary information? As the business leader, you can share information in a general way or use percentages such as:

This month’s sales figures show that we are on course with our strategic plan and business goals.
First quarter productivity is 10% ahead of our business goals

Your current efforts have us ahead of our strategic projections by 5%.

Top down communication from you, as the business leader, will go a long way to executing your strategic plan and motivating your employees. And if you are still resisting this strategy, then turn off the television the next time your team is barely winning in the final minutes. How do you feel not knowing what happened? Do you think that your employees feel any differently?

P.S. Read the 7 Top Tips on How to Execute Your Strategic Plan

Are you experiencing repetitive challenges? Leanne Hoagland-Smith, M.S., an Indianapolis business coach and Chicago business coach, helps business people just like you to turn these challenges into measurable outcomes using results driven leadership skills for sustainable transformational change.

One quick question,Are you where youw ant to be? If you could improve the leadership skills of your business, increase customer loyalty, what would that mean to your bottom line, your daily productivity or sense of personal achievement? Then, take a risk and call 219.508.2859 for a FREE telephone consultation.

Visit http://www.processspecialist.com/ and explore everything from free articles to learning the "Secret of Success."

P.S. Leanne also speaks to help motivate individuals from keynotes to full days workshops. She can quickly customize her presentations to meet your needs.