Real Or Virtual Love - Do More Good Or Harm?

By Liliana Weston

Love on the net? What do you think? You must heard miscellaneous stories about online dating which also been known as cyber love since the rising of the internet. It’s suddenly affects our culture in a very short time and has given millions of people new opportunities to find love in ways never before possible. Talk show hype over cyberspace love encounters and movie You’ve Got Mail have popularized the romantic potential of the internet. There’s nothing not right about internet relationship but you still have to beware of irresponsible addicted net people who is always take an advantage from the flexibility of the net. The process of an online relationship, however, is very different from real time dating processes. The online environment is, by its very nature, restrictive. For new internet users, the online culture shock can be daunting.

In this unique new dating world, the most important thing to consider is what happens when two strangers perceive each other as a friend. Many choose anonymity of meeting electronically thinking the distance provides a cushioning from the usual pains of the relationship. Is this true?
Maybe you have the answers for this question. How does cyber romance vary from a real life romance? Perhaps one significant difference is that communication plays such a large part.
Words that convey feelings have enormous effect. On the Internet, interaction is limited to typed words. Tone, emotion, voice, appearance, and inferences are all imagined to help construct understanding. All too often, the image of the perfect mate is projected, and transferred. What appears to be the perfect soul mate is actually an illusion.

But why cyber love? Whatever the opinion maybe on cyber love - it must be said in favor of the internet that it puts people in touch with people that otherwise would never have met. How can true love develop merely on an intellectual level, which is without the physical attraction, the familiarity of the other’s appearance? To put it another way; is the physical appearance of the man or woman plays a part in the relationship if through the exchange of thoughts and feelings they already fell in love?

Many say it is against the nature of love to be deprived of the sense of sight, the look, the movement, the body language being present. There are those, of course, who favor internet relationships claiming that the intensity of the emotional relationships claiming that the intensity of the emotional relationship that develops in such a way is superior to the mere stirring of the flesh.

The internet relationships are real enough the invisibility of the partner must be counter somehow and this results in generous doses of fantasizing for some people. Sometimes, there are those who easily lend themselves to daydreaming and loose their sense of reality. These people are prone to adorn their love one with characteristics and appearance of a hero from a novel. It is difficult to escape from this dream back into reality unharmed. After the first kiss the prince turns into a frog and the story comes to an unexpected conclusion.

Another complication of Internet dating is the use of the Internet as an escape. The Internet can become a fantastic and unreal world. Online, we are who we say we are, if only for a few hours.
This escape from reality, however, makes online dating more difficult. Internet relationships should be considered incomplete relationships. A person who desires to meet potential mates online must be prepared to meet off line as well. After all, humans are based in real world situations. It is impossible to experience the entirety of another individual through a screen and keyboard.

Indeed, there are successes from online romances. I read of several couples that met online and now happily married. For those who fail, whether in real life or cyber space, there is a real pain and disappointment that accompanies love or what was presumed as loved. What kind of relationship, it requires work, dedication and reality, as do real time-originated relationships.

The Internet has its share of love and heartache. With so many people using the Internet, chances are great that you will find your mate, provided you use common sense, a lot of patience, and a willingness to take a budding online relationship into the real world. Whatever happens whether in real life or cyber space is all in your own hand. So do use internet wisely!

Lily Weston is currently an author/infopreneur in her blog http://www.luckylily.com - sharing thoughts and insight on relationship, romance and love with hope to help men and women getting over their daily relationship difficulties.