Romantic Ideas for Everyday

20 romantic ways to show your sweetie you care no matter what the occasion.
By The Nest

Valentine's Day, First-Date Anniversary, Tuesday — when you're in love, just about any day is a perfect excuse for sparking romance. Any time you feel the need to connect with your sweetheart, these ideas are perfect — no holiday necessary.



1. Stuff a little love note in your sweetie's pocket, sock, or shoe. For maximum impact, try email.

2. Secretly load a photo of the two of you as the desktop wallpaper on your honey's computer.

3. Burn a CD with tunes from your dating days and include your first dance (or favorite) song.

4. Buy a heart-shaped cookie-cutter and use it to make toast the next morning.

5. Look up the date of the next full moon and celebrate with a champagne toast.

6. Learn to ice skate or in-line skate together. This works best when both of you are beginners — the more clinging to each other, the better.

7. Hate basketball and your main squeeze is addicted to it? Get tickets to a game. Despise musicals? Surprise your sweetie with tickets to a show. Go against the grain, and endure with grace and cheer.

8. Spend the day at a museum, holding hands.

9. Forget breakfast in bed. Have dinner in bed (and don't worry about the crumbs).

10. Go to bed early. No books, no magazines, no remote control.

11. Tell a secret — it'll bring you closer.

12. Create your own cocktail together. Then make up a name for it by combining your two names.

13. Write "I Love You" on the steamy mirror while your beloved is in the shower.

14. Go to a bookstore or music store together, then split up. Your mission: Buy something you know your sweetie will love. Then, wrap and exchange.

15. Have a picnic. It doesn't have to be outdoors, it can be on your living room floor.

16. Absence is an aphrodisiac. Spend a weekend without each other (substitute your best pal, your sister, your old college roommate) and plan to meet back at your place after 48 hours apart.

17. Teach each other about something the other knows nothing about. He can teach her all the rules of chess, or how to make a perfect omelet. She can teach him ten phrases in French and how to use the digital camera.

18. Get away from it all close to home — spend a night in a very luxurious hotel or cozy bed-and-breakfast in your own city.

19. Get dressed together — choose each other's attire (for work, for dinner out, whatever). Then, later, get undressed together.

20. Find your sweetie's car in the parking lot and tuck a love note under the windshield wiper.

[via MSN]

The Power of a Mother's Promise

Twenty-seven years ago this month, my mom made a promise that changed our lives forever.
by Stacy Wiebe

Now that I'm also a mother, I've come to see that promise as a kind of spiritual umbilical cord, a maternal link God used to bring new to life me and my family, and to countless others.

Prayer from a mother's heart
On May 30, 1975 my sister Carey was born. She was a true angel baby - sleeping through the night from the day we brought her home. She completed a trio of girls; I was four, and Amy, two.

A week after Carey's birth, Mom knew something was terribly wrong. Her left leg suddenly stopped working, dragging behind her.

By the time she arrived at the hospital, her leg was dead black. An astute nurse immediately nailed the cause: blood clots. Two hundred of them, the doctor said, coursed through her veins. One passed through her lung, causing pneumonia and kidney failure.

In her hospital bed, Mom had a conversation with God - something that had often comforted her battered heart as a child. Growing up, her parents partied hard and often abandoned her; when they were home, they were more harsh than loving. God's was the best listening ear she knew.

Now she turned to it again: "Oh, God, I want to live to see my babies grow up and get married," she prayed. "Please help me. I will do anything…" And then she made a promise: "I'll… I'll read the Bible. From cover to cover."

After 10 days in the hospital, Mom came home. The doctor said that if the clot that had passed through her lung had been a hair bigger, she wouldn't have survived.

Revelation
As she recovered, Mom remembered her promise. Starting in Genesis, she plodded through the super-size Bible she had bought, even though much of it seemed to reinforce her childhood notion that it was decipherable only by men who wore stiff collars.

Even so, a lot of what she read moved her, and when she came upon the question "What must I do to be saved?" in the book of Acts, chapter 16, the answer spoke directly to her: "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household."

She responded then to God's voice in her spirit, and was filled with understanding of how His love had led Him to send His Son, Jesus, to take the punishment for everything she had ever done wrong in her life - and ever would do. "It was quite a revelation," she later told me.

One thing I remember around this time is an earnest, private conversation with my mom. She revealed to me the truth about Santa Claus, and afterwards pulled out a book and read about a woman named Mary who had a baby named Jesus. She told me, "This story is real."

The cross and the barber pole
When I was eight, Mom decided our family needed to go to church. We attended various services, but church felt like a foreign, impenetrable culture with its own language and customs.

Mom found herself offering up another big prayer, "God, if You really want us to go to church, You're going to have to send one to our back yard."

God answered three months later in the form of a short Norwegian pastor in his 70s. He came to our door to invite us to a new church starting up at the barber/beauty shop three miles down the road. By country standards, three miles is on your front porch!

We went to the inaugural service, walking past the hair-washing sinks to the main room of the A-frame building. Though we sat discreetly in the back, we failed to make ourselves invisible. In fact, that little community of about 20 people immediately embraced us and over time, through their lives, showed us the winsomeness and Truth of genuine Christianity. My mom grew in her faith, and it wasn't long before my dad, my two sisters and I each decided to follow Jesus as our Forgiver and Leader.

Life, BC and AD
In the following years, I had a front-row seat to changed lives. God re-fashioned my parents' character, their habits, their attitudes.

Their abundant affection and the inner experience I had of God's love under girded me during my awkward school-age years.

Then I became a teenager.

In ninth grade, I decided to change my misfit image for the gloss of popularity, whatever the cost. I'll come back to God later when I'm done doing things my way, I reasoned. I shrugged off any consequences and believed that to have a "good" testimony, like so many of the dramatic ones I had heard, that I had to have a "past."

At 17, I finally woke up. God helped me imagine how my life might turn out if I continued shunning His love and leadership. I thanked God for protecting me in spite of my unwise choices and I realized the incredible privilege of having been spared the pain that my parents had experienced before knowing Christ.

Three weddings and a baby
When my sisters and I each married, Mom relished in the weddings. God answered her prayer that she would see us wed, and the subsequent ones that each of us would choose a mate who loved God.

Her joy ballooned with the arrival of grandchildren, and when it was my husband Mike's and my turn to tell them we were adding to the brood, we flew home to share the news in person.

A few days into our visit , my nurse-practioner called. A blood test had come back positive for "Factor V Leiden," a genetic blood disorder that can cause clotting during pregnancy and post-partum. The nurse wanted me to start right away on injections of heparin, a blood-thinning medication. Without it there was a high risk for miscarriage, still birth or blood clots.

At first I felt sorry for myself. Suddenly I was having a "high risk" pregnancy. Sticking my stomach with a needle twice a day was not the way I had envisioned enjoying my growing abdomen.

Mom felt guilty: "How could I have passed this on to you?" she thought.

It wasn't long before our emotions melted to thankfulness. God had intervened and prevented me from suffering what my mother had - or something worse. My obstetrician told me that few doctors are screening for this genetic blood disorder, which was discovered just 10 years ago.

"Why me?" became, "Why have I been singled out for so great a grace?"

A new branch
On March 30, 2001 my mom witnessed for the first time the birth of a baby - my son, Liam.

My greatest hope for Liam is that he will respond to God's gift of grace and follow Him with all his heart. As he grows, I will tell him that God has a plan for his life, and that He intervened to protect him in the womb. I'll tell him this parallels the way God's grace intervened to touch the spiritual deadwood that characterized our family tree, grafting in a new branch - one that is spiritually alive.

And I'll tell him how it all began with a mother's promise.

~~~~~~

A new branch in your family tree could start with you!
As a young girl, my mom told her parents, " I am going to raise my family differently." They laughed and said, "You will see." She did not know then that the difference she would raise us girls with was Christ.

Following Christ and creating a Christian home is something no one can do though, by just "trying really hard." We need help - or better - the one Jesus called the "Helper."

If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, God has given you His Holy Spirit to help you live life according to His perfect plan. Why not pray this simple prayer and by faith invite Him to fill you with His Spirit:

Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by
directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through
Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place
on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be
filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith.
I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for
directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen

If you prayed this prayer today, we would love to hear from you . Perhaps we could connect you with a mentor or provide resourceful links that could help you in this new journey.

Content By: Thoughts-About-God

“I hate my guy’s friends!”

By Julie Weingarden Dubin

I’ll never forget the guy I dated whose three best friends were like a group of seventh-grade (mean) girls. His pals needed to “approve” me, gossiped way too much and spent more on clothes and hair products than I did. Ick. I just couldn’t get past his high-maintenance trio.

We’ve all been there: Great-seeming guys, nightmare friends. How do you know when to deal with his buddies and when to run? We asked psychotherapist and relationship expert Ellen Chute whether each of these types of friends could be tamed:

Hateful Friend #1—The inside jokester
Elizabeth, 32, of Chicago, was on the fence about a guy she’d been dating a few months, but when she met his friends, she knew that she needed to make a break. “The guy was intelligent, but he had low self-esteem,” she says. When she met his friends (who all worked in the same IT department), they didn’t include her in any conversations but instead made weird inside jokes all night. “It was awful,” she says. “His friends seemed to lack the basic social skills necessary to talk to someone they didn’t already know, and I started to see my date was no different.”

How to make nice: First, let your date know you feel left out. Believe it or not, he may not realize you’re not hanging on their every word. Try saying: “Hey, it seems like you guys are really close, but when you tell all those stories about work people, I feel like an outsider.” If he says, “We just get like that when we’re together”—that’s not good. But if he apologies and promises to steer the topic away from inside references to middle-school hijinks, then you know he has a sensitivity chip. And who knows? You may find his friends are actually more socially-evolved once they get talking about mainstream topics like Barack Obama or the post-writer-strike TV options.

Hateful Friend #2—The Vince Vaughn type
This is the guy who — like the characters Vince Vaughn inevitably plays — tries to convince your date that women are balls and chains and he’s better off without you. Briana, 31, of Los Angeles, can relate. She fell in love with her boyfriend right away, but loathed his best friend. He constantly put her down and tried to persuade her boyfriend to give Briana the boot. But she wasn’t going to let one jerk scare her away from a great guy. So she decided to be the bigger person and reach out to his friend. “When I needed to book a speaker for work, I called him, and he hooked me up with someone,” she says. “He was great and made me shine at work—and I made him shine.” He ended up apologizing and telling Briana he had her pegged all wrong. “I think he gained respect for me when he saw that I was able to separate work from our personal problems.” Now, Briana, her beau and his bud all hang out happily.

How to make nice: Remember: This pal isn’t your guy. And just because your man thinks his Old School-ish pal is amusing, doesn’t mean he values his opinion. Chances are, the VV type is jealous that your man found someone great. Or, he feels threatened that you’re taking his best friend away (really!). Do let your date know if the guy says something truly jerky (“You two will last maybe three weeks”). If he knows his friend is being rude to you and doesn’t do anything, or says something like, “Let it go” or “He talks to everyone that way,” then do yourself a huge favor and move on.

Hateful Friend #3—The player
How do you know this guy can’t keep it in his pants? Because he flirts with you! When Alison, 34, of Philadelphia, started dating Sam, his best friend propositioned her. “I never told Sam about Jude coming on to me because I felt like I could handle it,” she says. “When Jude suggested that we get together alone, I said, ‘No thanks’.” But Jude continued to make her feel uncomfortable, and Alison soon realized she didn’t like Sam enough to put up with his best friend, Mr. Octopus.

How to make nice: If it’s just a glance or two in your direction, try ignoring it (some guys just can’t help drooling over women). But if he makes a clear advance or says something truly suggestive, say something right away: “I’m dating Jason and am not at all interested in you.” And do tell your date, just in case he hears a twisted version of the story (“Man, it was crazy, your lady came on to me outside the bathroom”). Chances are, your date knows that his friend is a dog with women, and will (a) tell his pal to keep his hands off, and (b) keep you two apart as much as possible.

Hateful Friend #4—The mooch
So you’re dating a guy whose roommate thinks it’s fine to tag along for Thai food or to the movies? It happens. Amy, 26, of Farmington Hills, Michigan, was annoyed when her date’s roommate felt it was fine to hang out with them in front of the TV on an early date. She thought: What’s with a guy who lets his roommates join in a date? But she didn’t know how to get the roomie pal to quit hanging out with them.

How to make nice: Some folks are just clueless—and if your guy happens to room with one of these unfortunate souls, you shouldn’t hold it against him. That said, it’s not a good sign if your date can’t let his buddy know he’s not welcome on his dates. Let your date know you’d love to hang out more with him—and just with him. Let him know nicely that you’d prefer if the pal didn’t join. If his friend continues to show up, show your date to the door.

One last word of advice: A guy’s friends are very important to him (just as yours probably are to you). So know that you may have to tolerate some times with a less than favorite person, but if your guy’s a keeper, it’s worth it!

Julie Weingarden Dubin writes for Cosmopolitan, Redbook, and Shape. She is the author of How to Plan an Elegant Second Wedding and lives in Huntington Woods, Michigan.

[via MSN]

Our surprising first date!

By Chelsea Kaplan

What does a “date” mean to you? If you automatically say “dinner and a movie,” you don’t know what you’re missing. Sure, that strategy was fine the first time around, but now that you’re more mature, self-confident, and back on the dating scene, it’s time to think outside the first-date box. Take a cue from these folks who broke out of the old stand-by evening and opted for more unconventional settings.

Home (Depot) is where the heart is
“Alton and I planned to go on a picnic for our first date, but it was pouring down rain, so we decided to go out to a restaurant instead. But beforehand we stopped at Home Depot because Alton was building a new house since his wife got theirs in the divorce settlement. I forget what he needed, but I can tell you that our very first kiss was in the cleaning-supply aisle! Our relationship has been soaring ever since, and we are getting married this September. Now every time I see a Home Depot, it makes me smile.”
– Susie Langerhaus, 37, Emmitsburg, PA

Lights, camera, action!
“I met Amy at a friend’s party, and we immediately connected because we are both huge movie buffs. I suggested we catch a movie for our first date, but we had trouble deciding what to see—there were so many good ones out. So Amy suggested we see them all. We watched four movies back-to-back, lunching on popcorn, candy and soda and chatting between each show. Not only did we catch up on all the movies we wanted to see, but we had a fantastic first date.”
– Mark Hobkin, 53, St. Louis, MO

Be open to the pots-ibilities
“I like to know what a woman enjoys doing before we go out so I can plan our first date accordingly. When Julie said she likes those paint-your-own-pottery places, I wanted to kick myself. I was in far from the best mood when we met, but her enthusiasm and fun-loving attitude immediately got the best of me. We joked around, painted silly things on vases, and occasionally on each other. I can honestly say it was one of the best dates I’ve ever had.”
– Jonathan Millstein, 38, New York, NY

Theater act
“When I felt like I was ready to begin dating again, a friend fixed me up with Don. She said he was perfect for me because he loves his kids as much as I love mine. Before our first date, Don asked me if I enjoyed the theater, and I enthusiastically said yes. You can imagine how confused I was when we pulled into an elementary school on our big night out. But I soon realized what was up. We saw a fourth-grade production of Stone Soup featuring Don’s daughter. I never would have pegged that as my ideal first date, but I was impressed that Don wanted to show that his children were his top priority. We began dating exclusively soon after our ‘theater’ date!”
– Linda Bridgham, 44, Highland Park, IL

Salsa, anyone?
“When I was in my twenties, a typical date was dinner (meat and potatoes) followed by big-band dancing. So when Paul asked me out for dinner and dancing, that’s just what I imagined. Instead, we went to a crowded Spanish tapas restaurant with salsa music. After a dinner of blood sausages, smoked meats and olives, Paul gave me a salsa lesson. Though the food wasn’t my norm and the dancing was a bit suggestive for a first date, I must admit I totally enjoyed that unconventional night!”
– Miriam Hodges, 65, Winter Park, FL

Poker perfection
“I usually take a first date to my favorite Italian restaurant around the corner. But once, I opted for a day trip to Atlantic City after I realized she and I both loved to play poker. We lost some money but had a great time. And I found myself even more attracted to her after I witnessed her card-playing skills.”
– Frank Brenner, 48, Cherry Hill, NJ

Now that’s amusing
“I hadn’t been to an amusement park in years — probably since my kids were little — so when Kris suggested we go to Six Flags for our first date, I was a little taken aback. We ended up having a blast—we ate funnel cakes, rode all of the roller coasters and Kris even won me an enormous stuffed giraffe. A few months later, we went again with all of our kids, and now that we’re married, we’ve made it a family ritual to go every few months.”
– Debbie Resnick, 55, Conyers, GA

Sowing the seeds of love
“When Tom and I spoke before our first date, I casually mentioned I was going to plant some herbs that weekend. When we met up, I thought we were visiting an art museum, but instead, he had loaded up the back of his car with all sorts of herb plants plus hoes and soil. We spent the afternoon gardening and getting to know each other. I was impressed that Tom showed an interest in one of my hobbies. Plus, focusing on an activity alleviated a lot those first-date awkward moments. My herbs are still thriving, as is my relationship with Tom.”
– Sue Poston, 60, Fairfield, CT

Animal behavior
“A date once took me on an afternoon trip to the zoo for a first date. It just so happened that we went during mating season, and the animals were all quite amorous, if you know what I mean. It set an interesting tone, to say the least, but I think we both felt a bit more relaxed from all that laughing.”
– Ricardo Colon, 44, Phoenix, AZ

The (pedi)cure for the common date
“I met Claudia through the New York Road Runner’s Club when we were both training for the New York City Marathon. Our feet were in terrible shape from all that running, and we constantly joked about it. I was nervous about asking Claudia out, probably because my divorce was fairly recent. Luckily, she took the lead. One day after a run she mentioned she was going for a pedicure and dared me to get one with her. I took her up on it and we spent our first ‘date’ at one of those drop-in nail salons. After, we walked our pretty toes — hers red, mine buffed — to lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know each other better.”
– Jeff Lai, 46, New York, NY

Writer and editor Chelsea Kaplan’s work has been featured in Men’s Health, New Woman, Bridal Guide, The Mommy Times, and www.thefamilygroove.com.

[via MSN]

Your man’s mood swings

By Elise Nersesian

Trying to figure out the best time to broach a touchy topic, ask your guy a favor or convince him to do something you know he’ll dread? Well, it’s easier than you think if you learn how to tune in to his body clock, says Gabrielle Lichterman, founder of Hormonology.info and co-author of 28 Days: What Your Cycle Reveals About Your Love Life, Moods, and Potential. While women, we all know, experience hormone-induced mood swings on a monthly basis, Lichterman attests that men, too, are affected by hormonal highs and lows—only their levels fluctuate daily. Want to get his hormones working for you? Read on.

If you need his help moving, fighting, or fixing something…
Ask: from 9-12 a.m.

It should come as no surprise that guys wake up bursting with testosterone. And aside from the obvious frisky factor, this surge in hormones makes him ambitious and determined, says Lichterman. This is the perfect time to ask him for a favor, particularly one that makes him feel like Mr. Fix-It. Buying a car? Indulge his competitive streak, and drag him along to help you haggle with the salesman and score a great deal. Or, cash in on his peak in spatial thinking and ask him to move your couch, or measure your closet space. He’ll feel heroic, and you’ll reap the benefits.

If you want to get him to agree to your plans…
Ask: from 3-4 p.m.

Trying to convince him to sign up for ballroom dancing lessons, commit to your new book club or otherwise agree to do something that would normally send men screaming in the opposite direction? Then this late-afternoon window is the perfect opportunity, says Lichterman, since his super-low testosterone levels will make him mellow and amenable to pretty much anything you throw on the table.

If you want to broach a touchy topic…
Ask: from 8-10 p.m.

At this hour, another hormone called oxytocin — a.k.a. the “cuddle hormone” due to its intimacy-inducing effects — is on the rise in his bloodstream, says Lichterman. That means this is a prime time to resolve a lingering spat (“It hurt my feelings when you didn’t call today”) or get a grievance off your chest (“Will you please shave your goatee?”). You’ll probably get met with nothing but a sincere apology and the promise to change his ways. Sure, his sweetness may be as much due to timing as a true desire to please, but hey, who cares as long as your wish is his command?

Elise Nersesian has written for Redbook, Stuff, and other publications.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.

[via MSN]

Are you a good kisser?

By Nicole Kristal

My friend Sean thought his date went well—she laughed at his jokes, ordered dessert, and even asked him up to her apartment for a midnight make-out session. But it’s been over a week and she hasn’t returned his calls. Sean’s starting to wonder why. Little does he know, the answer’s in his kiss. I should know. I made the mistake of kissing him once.

Plenty of people worry about whether they’re good in bed, but few worry about their skills when it comes to their triple-tongue-swirl maneuvers. So people like Sean are often left questioning what went wrong on a date, even though the reason is quite literally under their noses. Sadly, no one wants to tell anyone they have the kiss of death, which means that unless you’ve been praised for your soft lips or tantalizing tongue, someone might be cringing about your not-so-sensual smooches as well. Here’s a cheat sheet of oral offenses, so you can avoid being thought of as a cringe-worthy kisser.

The Vampire Lip-Sucker
When my date Andrew first started biting and sucking on my lower lip, I tried to redirect the kiss by going for his upper lip. But when he kept doing it and my lip began to throb, I pulled away with a not-so subtle, “Ow.” He didn’t take the hint and with each tug, my lip grew rawer. The next day, at a family barbecue, everyone wondered why I had a purple lower lip.

Sure, a soft bite on the lip can be a turn on, but 10 in a row can leave your date looking like she got punched in the mouth. The first sign of a bad kisser is the inability to respond to feedback (sorry, Andrew; it’s true). If you’re not getting a positive response, don’t be afraid to stray from a move that you thought worked on someone else. Bad kissers often make the mistake of hoping you’ll grow to like whatever weird thing they’re doing. This almost never works and almost always leaves your lover bemoaning your inexperience.

The Speed Racer
Another common attribute of a bad kisser is out-of-sync kisses that don’t match the other person’s rhythm. Just as relationships are about finding a happy medium, kissers should try to conform to a mutual speed. The one time I made out with Sean, he threw on a Prodigy album, and then proceeded to kiss me faster than the driving techno beat. When he wouldn’t slow down, I politely grooved my way right out his door.

I have a tongue, too, thank you
Tom was a good-looking, smart guy who played guitar and opened every door for me, but he also had a knack for filling my entire mouth with his imperialistic tongue, which completely crushed mine as it recklessly reached for my tonsils. No matter what I did, I couldn’t remove it, mostly because my own tongue seemed to have disappeared.

Lots of oral offenders’ tongues make the mistake of setting up permanent residence in their dates’ mouths. The tongue should be about playful give and take: Tease, then pull back. If that gets a positive response, venture a little further, but never leave your date thinking, “What the heck happened to my tongue?” or “Red alert: Suffocation setting in!”

Mr. Hoover
Mr. Hoover is the opposite of the previous smoocher—he likes to suck your tongue right out of your mouth and hold onto it. If your date’s entire head is unwillingly following yours because you’re holding her tongue hostage, that’s probably not a good thing. Tongue suction is tricky. Unless you know exactly the amount of suction to exert and the duration to hold your partner’s tongue captive (Hint: it’s not five minutes), you’re treading into Bad Kisser Land.

The Cheek-Licker
Licking or lapping your date’s cheek will leave him or her either (a) grossed out or (b) laughing. Licking people’s faces isn’t hot. (I don’t care if your girlfriend freshman year loved it; she was one in a million, maybe 100 million.) When it comes to kissing, the tongue should make contact with two — and only two — places above the shoulders besides the mouth—the neck and the ear. But if you shoot for these erogenous zones, don’t overdo it. Wet willies and hickeys are for amateurs.

Ladies, you can stink, too
From the above, you may get the impression that I think only guys can be bad smoochers. Not at all! Though men get a bad rap for not caring about kissing, many guys like it and expect some creativity… and are disappointed by what the women they date dish out. “I’ve been with women who are repetitive kissers—they kiss with the same motion over and over again,” complained one male friend. “It’s like you’re on a four-second loop but you can’t break it.”

My male friends’ most important piece of advice—kiss like you mean it. “A heartless kiss makes for bad kissing,” explained another guy friend. It feels like she doesn’t want to be kissing you, he said, “and that’s really annoying.”

So, ladies and gentleman, realize that if your date kisses you once and doesn’t want to continue, it may well be for a reason. And it usually has nothing to do with your SAT scores. Kissing is one of the biggest deal-breakers in early dating, so drop the misguided moves or your dates will drop you. Here’s an added incentive—good kissing can make other faults forgivable. I once went out with a guy who had no car (hey, I live in California; cars matter) and no job, but soft lips and the most amazing kiss. We dated happily for a while… until he goosed me. Oh, well. A good kiss can’t compensate for everything.

Nicole Kristal has written for Newsweek and Premiere, and is a staff writer for Back Stage West newspaper.

Promises Guys Must Keep

When you tell her you'll do something, she assumes you mean it. And slacking won't just piss her off, it may make her doubt your word in the future. So do both of you a big favor and follow through on the phrases below.
By Jennifer Benjamin

"I'll call you right back."

We know how it is: You're talking to your girlfriend when you get hungry. You tell her you're going to make a sandwich but reassure her that you'll phone once you're done eating.

Flash forward two hours: The sandwich is long gone, and you're engaged in a bloodbath on your PS2. Meanwhile, she's wondering where the hell you are. "When you tell her you'll call right back, assume she's thinking it'll be about five minutes," says psychotherapist Robert Mark Alter, author of It's (Mostly) His Fault. If you know it'll be two hours, say, "I have to deal with a few things; can I call you later?"

"I'll take care of it."

You're a busy guy, and you may have more important stuff to do than fix a leaky faucet in your beloved's bathroom. But when she asks for help and you agree, she's counting on you to get the job done. "Women these days are independent and don't like having to ask for anything," says Bobbie Reid, author of Clueless. "When you don't take care of it, she has to keep bugging you, which makes her feel like a nag."

So the next time she makes a request that you can't get to right away, Reid suggests telling her that you'll totally be able to take a look at it, but not until a specific day the next week. That way, she won't keep asking, and you won't be the ass who never did what he said.

"We should go there."

Making plans tends to be more of a woman's forte, which is why it means so much when you come up with a cool date idea of your own. That's also why it can be a major letdown when you don't follow through. "By suggesting it, she assumes you're now going to make all the arrangements, and that makes her feel special," says Alter. So the next time you mention trying that new Moroccan restaurant, make a reservation or tack on the addendum "...just remind me."

"I'll be there at seven."

Okay, admittedly women aren't always ready when they say they'll be. Still, there's an expectation that if you tell a girl you'll be showing up at a certain time, you'll be there. "Being late is inconsiderate and makes her feel like you don't care about seeing her," says Reid. So if you're going to be tardy for a legit reason (like your boss has you chained to your desk), call! She's a lot less likely to bitch if you give her a heads-up.

Content By: Cosmppolitan

[via MSN]

The crazy way we met!

By Christine M. Coppa

Most of us have those strange almost-met-someone moments: Stuck in rush-hour traffic, you make eyes in the rearview mirror at the cutie behind you… or walking your sister’s dog while she’s out of town, you find the pup, well, strongly drawn to a poodle whose owner is adorable… Often, these incidents don’t lead anywhere, but for some of our lucky readers, they were the start of something very, very good. Read their inspiring stories, and be open to meeting your next honey in a most unusual way.

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We met at a party we weren’t invited to!
“My best friend’s brother was having a gala graduation party. She invited me last minute to keep her company, like the day of—seriously. My guy was also invited the night before—also a last-minute attendee. He met my friend’s brother out at a bar. And her brother, after a couple beers, boasted: ‘Come to my party tomorrow night, open bar!’ This wasn’t the type of party you just show up to. It was white-glove service and the invitations were printed, like wedding invites! There was a champagne fountain and a dessert show in the middle of the dance floor. When I got there, I didn’t even have a seat card. I saw an empty seat at my now-husband’s table and asked if I could sit there. He said, yes… four years later, I said ‘I do!’”
—Liss Gallotta, 25, Riverdale, NJ

He replied to my profile…which I didn’t post
“I was dating someone my friends hated. You know the story: ‘He’s not good enough for you, you’re too kind-hearted for such a jerk!’ So without telling me, they put me on MSN Dating & Personals to prove a point—that there was someone better out there for me. They totally went behind my back—I mean, I was in a relationship! All the incoming emails responding to my profile showed up as spam (which I immediately deleted). Somehow, one email got through, from a guy named Rich. For some reason, his email fascinated me and I agreed to meet him for a casual cup of coffee. That day, everything just clicked—we knew from day one, we were meant to be together—forever. We talked and laughed and I think by the end of the date we were finishing each other’s sentences. We've even talked seriously about eloping! I guess my friends were right—my ex wasn’t good enough for me!”
—Sara Govatos, 26, Weehawken, NJ

We were trapped on the subway together
“Last year, around 8:30 a.m., I got on the subway as usual. I had my non-fat latte and new issue of Vogue in tow and was looking forward to a thirty-minute commute uptown. The train approached the first stop, but came to a halt underground between stops. I sat there calmly for 5 minutes, but as it approached 9 a.m., I began to worry. The conductor came on the loudspeaker and said there was a small fire at the next stop, and our train was being detained. That’s when Tony, a handsome guy in a suit across from me, let out a sigh of disgust. I responded, ‘At least it’s Friday!’ He smiled, and we started chatting. The train finally continued on, but before we parted ways he asked for my number. We had dinner at a brick-oven pizza place that evening and things took off from there!”
—Gianna Catrone, 30, New York City

I was being set up with his friend
“My friend Joanne was dying to set me up with her pal John’s friend. Joanne has good taste, so I let her play matchmaker. I didn’t know anything about the friend but I had heard John’s name enough in the past to feel comfortable. John told Joanne that he had a friend for me—he said, ‘He’s smart, funny, good looking…’ I trusted his taste so I gave Joanne my number to give to John to give to his friend. When John called to sell his friend to me, we ended up on the phone for hours. We ended our conversation with the agreement that I’d go on a blind date with his friend the next night. But, when my doorbell rang the next night, I was surprised to see John there with flowers! He said that ‘I was just too good to giveaway to some other guy.’ And I have to admit I was glad he did take that initiative!”
—Kristina Katsoulas, 28, Long Island, NY

We met at a wake
My boss’s mother passed away, and I attended the service. I didn’t really know anyone there, except for a couple of the guys in I.T. I felt funny signing the condolence book but figured I ought to. The woman ahead of me turned and handed me the pen. She said: ‘I hate signing in to these kinds of things… I don’t know what to say about my ex’s great aunt.’ I smiled and said, ‘I don’t know what to say either—my boss’s mom.’ Later, after talking with my boss, I saw that woman again, off in the corner alone. I said something really corny like, ‘Come here often?’ and we both stifled a laugh. We ended talking amongst lily plants. We’re still together and we joke that our first date was a funeral—can’t get worse than that!”
—Peter Smithers, 34, Pittsburgh, PA

Christine M. Coppa is a New York City-based freelance writer.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.

Liar, Liar - What Not To Do On A Date!

By Steve Kanooka

Just like the film wouldn't it be great if every internet dater was cast with a spell that meant they could not lie. For the most the online vibe is a scary place but we are driven there on the search to fulfil the most basic human desire either love or sex. Most people are very wary and rightly so. With very little information people meet random strangers, with advice from dating sites like... "make sure you tell a friend you're going on the date, and make sure you meet in a public place, day time if possible". Good advise yes of course, but is it enough?

You could have blown me down with a feather

Dan came out a divorce six months earlier. "I was an internet dater and yes I'm a real person, what the hell I thought I'd give it a try. Was I just after sex or a relationship I didn't know it was too soon to tell. Being a man I was less scared about my safety when meeting women but I could see it from their point of view. Online was cold scary place a bit like tesco's online but for people.
What's fun about that? I was still driven to meet that special one... maybe!

The process of going on a date meant that one party had to give a phone number am I comfortable? No certainly not! But what else could we do, a conversation tells a lot about someone and could be a deal breaker if the chemistry was not there.

One date was going well after a few cocktails in a trendy London hotel bar, I noticed my date, attractive tall and slim just staring at me. It was an odd stare I felt uneasy. She had told me she wanted a committed relationship on our recent phone chats. She slowly stood up, held out her hand and smiled. Confused I took her hand and she walked me over to the hotel reception and asked for a room! I was so shocked... Then she asked the receptionist if they sold condoms you could have blown me down with a feather.

Was this the girl of my dreams no, the moment most men dream of or is it? I felt her intentions were less than honest! I left!

He had a secret!

Samantha, 26, and looking for her knight in shining armour. I really warmed to this one man we chatted both on email and phoned for a few weeks before I had the courage to meet him in person. On the way to the date he called me from his mobile he said he was sorry but he was running late and when I arrived at the bar would I mind calling him back. I was already a bag of nerves and this made me even worse why would he want this? In my less that normal state I agreed. I arrived at the bar saw he was not there and sank a large vodka fast. I then called him.

"Hi I'm here, where are you" I asked "I'm not far away, thanks for calling back" he then paused... "I just wondered" he paused "does the bar have a ramp?" I stayed silent mainly through shock. He nervously filled the silence "It's just that I'm in a wheel chair" Critical information he did not share in all those weeks.

I wanted to be angry, I was angry but how could I be angry with a disabled man. We had the date which was awkward and needless to say we did not meet again he kept the truth from me. With other dates it became a joke "before we meet you're not in a wheel chair are you? It just made me more wary.

To ugly to date!

Mary, 34, met a man who looked nothing like his photo. The main reason was his photo was of his good looking mate. He felt that if he put up his own photo he would not get dates. What on earth did he think women's reaction would be?

Internet sites get the message!

So what's the solution... Many dating sites today are aware of these kind of issues and have included video chat to over come these type of problems. Sites have also included games that help to break the ice and virtual cities to walk around and meet new people. These sites offer a more fun and safer element to the online dating scene.

The stories are true the peoples names have been changed.If you have a dating story you would like to share send it to support@kanooka.com

Research from http://www.kanooka.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Kanooka

The Truth About Losing Tummy Fats and Love Handles

By Cheow Yu Yuan

It is very common nowadays that people start to wonder how to lose tummy fats or how to lose love handles. As the nature of work is becoming more fast-pacing, more people are eating unhealthily and not finding time to exercise. This eventually leads to undesired weight gain and an increase of people who are overweight.

Tummy fats and love handles are nice phrases to describe those fats that accumulate on your lower abdomen and on each side of the waist respectively. These fats are all unwanted fats and the only way to get rid of love handles and tummy fats is to lose weight.

To lose weight effectively, you need to have a weight loss plan that focuses on healthy diet and consistent exercising. By eating the right meals and exercise regularly, you will be able to make your body's fat burning system to burn away those tummy fats and love handles that have resided on your abdomen for years.

Let us first talk about having a healthy diet plan. With a healthy diet plan, you will be able to reduce your overall body fat and maintain your weight at a healthy level. Skipping meals will not bring you anywhere. A healthy diet plan will not instruct you to skip meal as skipping meal will only make your body keeps food longer in your stomach as fats for energy.

Instead of skipping meals, what you can do is to take meal which consists of low calories and have smaller portion every time when you eat. Take in more vegetables and fruits to digest food faster to prevent them from remaining in your stomach and cause it to be bloated. I know that sometimes it is tempting to take in some chocolates and soft drink. But if you really want to get rid of your tummy and love handles, you need to be disciplined and do not take food which consist high calories.

Next, with a healthy diet plan, you need to have a regular exercising plan to back it up. Having love handles and tummy fats mean that you have too much body fat. Therefore, the best way to get rid of love handles and tummy fats is to lose body fat by exercising regularly.

Develop an exercise plan that make you at least work out 3 times a week. Each exercise session should last at least about 45 minutes. You can either go to the gym or slow jog in the park. For working adults, if your surrounding of your workplace is not convenient for jogging, I strongly recommend you to join a gym club near your workplace and visit it 3 times every week.

Regular cardiovascular workout routine is the best way to gradually reduce your love handles and tummy fats. With healthy diet and regular exercising, you will soon be able to dress more confidently and not worrying about those protruding fats near your abdomen anymore.

Do you want more effective tips to lose your tummy fat and love handles? Get more effective tips to lose weight from my website below now...

Click Here --> More Effective Tips To Lose Fats here

Please feel free to republish this article on your website, or distribute it to your friends or clients, as long as you leave the above resource box intact.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cheow_Yu_Yuan

‘My boyfriend has no ambition’

Dr. Gail Saltz advises a girl on what to do about her unmotivated partner
By Gail Saltz
TODAYShow.com contributor

Q. I love my boyfriend and have never been happier, but he has no ambition. While it's not a problem now because we are young and I am still in college, I am afraid it will be one day down the line. He has absolutely no dreams other than to live life. But he has so much talent and he takes brilliant pictures. If he had the motivation to apply himself, he could be a great photographer.

I feel this is a problem because I have big dreams and when I am done with school, I am going for them. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man and I do not want him to settle for anything less than his best or my best, for that matter. How do I help him believe in himself and make him see that there is more to life?

A. You might not be able to.

It’s not clear what elements go into making a person driven or ambitious, but obviously this personality characteristic comprises many factors. Some people are born with a more intense, assertive, demonstrative temperament than others. There is also a psychological component to this, which you note when you ask how you can make him believe in himself. Some people are truly conflicted about succeeding and therefore avoid it.

Your assumption is that he doesn’t believe in himself and therefore he doesn’t try. That’s possible. Some people are so lacking in confidence that they don’t try because they believe they will fail.

Others merely lack intensity. They may not feel the need to be exceptionally successful, and truly find pleasure in the moment rather than striving toward the future.

It’s not that somebody who lacks drive and ambition is bad or flawed, but such a person has a different personality than you do. If this is truly a pervasive part of your boyfriend’s nature — if he never feels that any work effort is worthwhile — that can be a problem for a couple. The same goes for any big difference in a significant domain in life, such as future goals.

It sounds like you want your boyfriend to change but he is content with how he is. Pointing out how he could change, and the advantages of doing so, either will or won’t move him to action.

But if you have been trying to change him and it isn’t working, I suspect he is just a laid-back kind of guy. It may simply not be in his temperament to be competitive. If this is the case, marriage to this man will make for a lot of frustration.

If you could truly be happy to take the lead and be the breadwinner, that would be fine. In fact, some people want to be the star of their relationship and don’t do well with a competitive spouse. But if it is important to you to be part of a power team and you need a husband who shares your passion for goals and success, then this kind of difference can truly erode your future: He might get tired of hearing that you don’t like the way he is. You might end up feeling contempt and disdain for his lack of ambition. You might feel ashamed of him in the presence of your friends and colleagues.

If you have children, these issues come to bear in your parenting style. Some parents push their kids to achieve; others take a hands-off approach. This is yet another realm where you might butt heads.

So if you can’t change your man’s behavior and you can’t change your own attitude, you should take a pause and examine whether this relationship can work well for the long term. This isn’t a small, easily-ignored issue.

Look inside yourself to see if this will be an ongoing source of disappointment and frustration for you, and if you will always wish to turn your man into something he is not. It might be worth exploring this issue with a couples counselor, who could shed further insight with an objective third-party view.

Dr. Gail’s Bottom Line: A fundamental difference in life approaches can erode a relationship if one partner doesn’t take action.

Dr. Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor to TODAY. Her latest book is “Anatomy of a Secret Life: The Psychology of Living a Lie.” She is also the author of “Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts,” which helps parents deal with preschoolers’ questions about sex and reproduction. Her first book, “Becoming Real: Overcoming the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back,” was published in 2004 by Riverhead Books. It is now available in a paperback version. For more information, you can visit her Web site, www.drgailsaltz.com.

Mistakes You Must Avoid If You Want Your Boyfriend Back

By Gillian Reynolds

Meeting a man you believe to be the "one" can completely change a woman's life. Everything in her world will seem ideal and in its place. If that same man then suddenly decides that the relationship isn't what he wants, it can feel as though the earth is falling into pieces. Sometimes in relationships both people don't feel the same things at exactly the same time. One may feel they need space or the chance to date others, and if a woman is thrown into a situation where her boyfriend feels those things, it can be heart wrenching. If you are convinced your ex is the man you are destined to be with, you need to be aware of the mistakes you must avoid if you want your boyfriend back.

One common and very easy mistake to make when you are trying to win back the affection of your ex boyfriend is to talk to his friends or family about the situation. If you are close with his friends or his parents or siblings you may think that speaking with them will help smooth the way for a reunion between the two of you. This is highly unlikely. If you want your boyfriend back you must not include anyone else in your problems. He'll resent you for doing it and it may also damage the relationship he has with his family or friends. Keep the relationship issues solely between the two of you.

If you want your boyfriend back you must also avoid crying in front of him. You may think that he'll feel sorry for you if he sees you weeping about the break-up. He won't. Men don't want to feel obligated to be in any relationship out of a sense of guilt. If you whine, beg, or pout in an effort to rekindle the romance, he'll turn the other cheek. He may also stop all contact with you because your behavior makes him uncomfortable.

Ex boyfriends sometimes decide to hop right back into the dating world. If you have visions of getting back together with him, seeing him with another woman is going to feel awful. Even hearing about his dating adventures from a mutual friend will be very difficult. You must keep yourself composed though if you want your boyfriend back. The best reaction from you would be to wish him well, and to do it with a smile on your face. He won't be expecting it and that's exactly what you want. You want him to wonder what you are thinking.

When the moment arrives that he asks to talk things out be careful how you handle this. You shouldn't take a defensive tone if you really want to get back together with him. Listen to everything he says and respect his feelings. If he asks how you feel about things, be honest without being hurtful or too overly dramatic. Keep your cool and he'll respect you even more.

The way you present yourself to your ex following the break up will play a big part in whether you'll eventually reunite as a couple. Once you understand how to approach him and what you should and shouldn't be saying, you'll stand a much better chance of recapturing his attention. For more suggestions that will help you get him back, visit this helpful site!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gillian_Reynolds

12 Resolutions for a Great Sex Life

We show you how to get in touch with your sexier (and happier!) self so you can have passionate sex every day of the year.
By Michele Bender

As far as New Year's resolutions go, "Get a better sex life" probably falls way down on the list, after "Lose weight," "Exercise more" and "Eat leafy greens." But the truth is, sex is healthy, too — for you and for your marriage. (Plus, working on it is a lot more enjoyable than counting calories.) So this January, take charge of your sex life by following these fun resolutions — we guarantee they'll lead to exciting and satisfying trysts and take your sex life to a whole new level.

Resolution #1: Vow to focus on what you like in bed.
"The number one key to greater pleasure is knowing what turns you on," says Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author of Sex Talk. You probably have some ideas already, but if you — and your husband — are relying on the same old techniques, it's time to find out what else hits your hot buttons. Experiment when you're alone: Think about what has aroused you in the past or about the things you wish your husband would do when the two of you are under the covers. Do you hear yourself thinking, "I wish he'd touch my neck or breasts?" If so, fill him in the next time you are getting snuggly. "Knowing what revs you up in bed is a gift you can give yourself — and him," says Zoldbrod.

Resolution #2: Commit to staying in touch with your sensual side.
You may barely remember those early days in your romance when you actually spent time picking out your bedwear, but chances are your dresser was filled with things a heck of a lot sexier than ratty T-shirts and flannel PJs. "Women need more preparation for lovemaking than men do, and part of that is making yourself feel beautiful," says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist and author of The Idiot's Guide to Oral Sex. "You're more likely to be interested in sex and initiate it if you're wearing something sexy." So hit the lingerie store — and while you're at it, pick up some perfumed body oil, silk sheets or a few scented candles. (Go for licorice or cucumber scents; research shows both increase arousal in women.) "Keeping all your senses stimulated all the time makes you more willing and able to really experience the complete pleasure of sex," says Cadell.


Resolution #3: Remind yourself to reach out and touch him — every day.
We know, sometimes a week goes by when physical contact with your husband amounts to squeezing past him to get to the bathroom sink. Considering that it's harder for women to jump into sex without day-to-day touching, this can put a real damper on intimacy. So make a point to rub his shoulders, hold hands while watching TV or simply give him a hug when you get home. A recent University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill study found that frequent hugging boosts a woman's level of oxytocin, a hormone that makes you feel closer to your mate. Kissing on the lips at least once a day is another good way to keep the passion simmering. Once you start reaching out more, you and your hubby will feel more loved and connected, and, trust us, sparks will fly.

Resolution #4: Stop mentally drafting your to-do list during sex.
Juggling work, family and friends leaves you with a lot to think about — sometimes even when you're making love. "This is a big problem for women. They are more easily distracted from sex than men," says Zoldbrod. And unlike men, women's arousal levels tend to fluctuate and can drop quickly. That means if you're turned on and start thinking about the dry cleaning you forgot, it can ruin the moment, just like that. To keep yourself from drifting off during sex, banish distractions. Once a week, jot down your to-do list and discuss any concerns you have about your family, work or other issues with your husband — before you slip between the sheets. Then when it's time for sex, you can really focus and enjoy it.

Resolution #5: Get yourself some (or some more!) grown-up toys.
Experts say that variety, novelty and fun are all keys to keeping sex hot. A good sex toy provides all of the above and can help you and your husband live out your sexual fantasies. There's a wide range of products to choose from, so start with what you're comfortable with. For beginners, vibrators that don't look phallic, such as the Pocket Rocket, tend to be less intimidating. If you already own the basics and are ready for more advanced toys, try a vibrator that stimulates both your clitoris and your G-spot. Or get something that's made for both of you, such as the Jelly Tool Belt — a dual penis ring that has a vibrator in it to stimulate you. If you're not sure how to bring up the idea of experimenting, here are two ways: (1) Surprise your husband with some edible massage lotion (the Pure Romance line is a good choice) to spur a conversation — say, "Do you like this? Does it feel good?" (2) Make shopping a task you do together at a store, with a catalog or online. Some good, discreet Websites are Adameve.com, Mypleasure.com and Babeland.com.

Resolution #6: Vow to speak up if something is not working for you.
We've all been there: You let your guy do something he thinks is an incredible turn-on, and all the while you're lying there wondering when he'll be finished. Women often do this — or even fake pleasure — because they're either too embarrassed to speak up or afraid to criticize their partner. But if he keeps doing the wrong thing, you'll be left dissatisfied again and again. Next time, clue him in — gently. Cadell advises that instead of saying, "You never do X" or "I don't like it when you do Y" — which come off as negative — try, "I like it when you gently massage my breasts instead of squeezing them." This way he won't feel rejected, and you'll get the caressing you crave.

Resolution #7: And also commit yourself to speaking up if something is working for you.
If the sex is good, why bother talking about it, right? Wrong. Sex experts agree that telling your husband how much you love what he does perfectly in bed is as important as telling him what isn't working. So moan when he zeroes in on a pleasure zone and compliment him later on, too. But be sure to provide details. For instance, say, "It felt amazing when you kissed my stomach and thighs." He'll be so happy to know he had the magic touch that he'll be excited to do a repeat performance. If that's not the recipe for a great sex life, we don't know what is!

Resolution #8: Keep the kids from spending every night in bed with you.
It's understandable why you want to bring your young children to bed — it's often the only way you all can get some sleep. But the math is simple: Two parents plus one child in bed equals zero sex. Try this instead: Enforce a "no kids in bed" rule (unless, say, they're sick) and ask your husband to take turns with you getting up when your child starts crying in the middle of the night. This way, you two can do more than just sleep.

Resolution #9: Decide it's okay to let Dora and the Wiggles do the babysitting.
No one is suggesting you plant the tots in front of the tube for hours on end. But the truth is, there are times — say, Sunday mornings — when popping in the kids' favorite DVD is the only way to get some lovin'. And, trust us, a little extra TV time isn't going to hurt your child as much as some much-needed couple-time is going to help your relationship.

Resolution #10: Have sex (sometimes) when you're not in the mood.
Like most women, you probably have nights when sex is the last thing on your mind, and you'd give anything to sprawl out and get eight hours of shut-eye. But then your husband gives the signal that he's ready for some nooky. What to do? Well, going along with the idea can actually be a titillating surprise for you. "If he knows how to push your buttons, then having sex when your husband is ready and you're not means it's very likely you'll get aroused once you get going," says Zoldbrod. It can also give you and your husband a boost outside of the bedroom. A recent study by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that sex plays a major role in a person's happiness. Don't think of it as giving in to him, think of it as giving in to pleasure.

Resolution #11: Use the birth control that's right for you. Trying to get pregnant? Then spontaneous sex isn't a problem. But if you're not planning to expand your family this month, getting comfortable with your birth control is key to letting loose during sex. "I've seen this make a huge difference in the sex lives of so many women," says Zoldbrod. Diaphragms and condoms are fine, but spur-of-the-moment sex is tricky when you have to fumble around in the dark for them at a pivotal moment. Other options, such as the Pill or a patch, can give you more freedom whenever you and your husband are raring to go. Talk to your doctor about the most effective — and carefree — method for you.

Resolution #12: Break out of your routine. Every couple has a tried-and-true method for getting in the mood. But let's be honest — the same old thing can get a bit boring. So mix things up. Even small tweaks can increase the passion in your marriage. Have sex in a different room of the house, make out in the car, take a bath together, spend more than five minutes on foreplay or "exchange three wishes that you want in bed," suggests Cadell. "That way you're playing a game — and a give-give scenario is always a success."

Another tactic: Do things that you and your husband did together in the days before you had children. Shared experiences — such as dancing, going to the gym together or taking a romantic stroll — help you two connect emotionally and see each other as more than simply Mom and Dad. "You're reminded of those butterflies-in-your-stomach early days," says Zoldbrod. "Then you hold hands and, chances are, you come home to have some great sex."

5 signs your date is lying…

By Chelsea Kaplan

It’s 8:30 p.m., and your date is seriously late for your dinner date. When he finally arrives, he offers you a convoluted explanation of his whereabouts, during which he refuses to look you in the eyes and keeps rubbing his nose. Suspicious that he’s not being completely honest? You should be, says Greg Hartley, author of How to Spot a Liar: Why People Don’t Tell the Truth... and How You Can Catch Them. For hints on how you can discern the truth, consider the following signs as explained by Hartley, a decorated military interrogator who observes these signals to assess the honesty of enemy combatants. Remember, all’s fair in the game of war—and love.

5 signs your date’s hiding something…

1. This person raises his or her eyebrows
You suspect something’s up, and you’ve called her on it. She offers an explanation, ending with that, “You do believe me, don’t you?” look, with eyebrows raised. Hartley says this key body language piece indicates that your date is not being fully honest. He asks,“You know that phrase ‘lying eyes’? A lot of times, it’s more in the lying eyebrows, especially with women, so pay attention to them when she’s speaking to you.”

2. The pace of your date’s answers varies
Though your date may be offering flawless answers to your questions, what may actually give him away is the rate at which he delivers those answers. “Pay attention to inordinate time differences in his answering style,” Hartley suggests. If he rushes to answer when he usually pauses or pauses when he normally rushes, that’s a hint that something is up.”

3. Your date compliments you at an inappropriate time
Hartley says that a man often compliments a woman when he's trying to pull a fast one on her. “If in the middle of his explanation of his whereabouts, he comments on your dress or asks if you just got a haircut, be suspicious,” he says. “Guys who do so are trying to distract you and divert your attention away from their half-truths or other deceptions. Don’t fall for it.”

4. Your date plays with her hair
When a woman is being deceptive, her behavior will actually be quite similar to when she’s seducing you, explains Hartley. “When you think about it, the two actions are somewhat linked, even though they have different motivations behind them,” he says. Therefore, if you’re trying to assess your female date’s honesty, look for a sure sign of seduction: playing with her hair, a historic symbol of sexuality and attraction.

5. Your date wrings his hands
“If a guy is wringing his hands when he’s speaking to you, he may be lying,” Hartley notes. Why is this an indicator of dishonesty? Hand-wringing not only signals stress, an indicator of deception, but his putting his hands in between his body and yours creates a barrier, and a guy creating this kind of barrier is usually hiding something, explains Hartley.

...and 3 signs that your date is being completely truthful

1. Your date is calm, cool and collected
First, let’s assume your date hasn’t been exercising or rushing to meet you, nor is he or she one of those people who just naturally perspire a lot. OK, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, if your date breaks into a sweat while speaking to you, it could be a sign of stress—the stress of lying. “While dates — especially first dates — are generally stressful situations, if you’ve been together a while, there should be no reason your date should feel much stress and be sweating,” says Hartley, “unless, of course, there’s something that is giving him or her reason to be stressed and sweating.” Like the fact that this person just told you a whopper…

2. He sticks to just the facts, ma’am
Perhaps one of the most common indicators of a lie is a too-detailed explanation. “This is one of the easiest ones to spot, but strangely, one deception that women often fall for,” Hartley notes. Don’t be fooled by his incredible attention to detail or his ability to recount every step he’s taken, he cautions. “A guy who offers you a detailed explanation is almost always lying; in general, guys just don’t recall details—that’s more women’s territory,” he says. “If his story or alibi about where he was or why he was late is ‘too good,’ there’s probably a reason why: He crafted it himself.” If he gives you a simple, short, reasonable explanation, chances are he’s telling you the truth and sees no need to embellish it, Hartley says.

3. She keeps her head up straight
If your date is fibbing, she may look you in the eye, but she’ll almost always cock or tilt her head to one side, Hartley says. “This flirty behavior is both a sign of seduction and lying,” he notes. “With this body language, she’s probably trying to reel you in sexually so as to distract you from her lies,” he says. A woman who’s telling the truth, however, will look at you head-on, he says, with her neck and head as straight as an arrow. Now that you know these clues, look for them to make sure you’re hanging out with the kind of honest person who is worthy of you and your time!

Chelsea Kaplan’s blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at www.chelseakaplan.com.

Love where you least expect it

By Steve Mazzucchi

At some point in your single life, the usual skirt-chasing stomping grounds — bars, parties, the gym — start to lose their luster. But don’t worry, these locations represent only a fraction of the places you can encounter amazing women. And really, you should be on the lookout for love everywhere you go. “Dating is a numbers game,” explains April Masini, author of Date Out of Your League and creator of www.askapril.com. “The more opportunities you give yourself to meet women — in places you hadn’t thought of before — the greater your chances of success.” With that in mind, here are 10 unusual spots where you just might run into the girl of your dreams. Be prepared.

1. At a boring work event
This scenario’s ripe for the smart fellow who knows how to make light of things. And yet, “don’t open with a complaint—it’s too negative,” cautions Lynn Harris, MSN.com’s Dating & Personals advice columnist and co-creator of www.breakupgirl.net. “Acknowledge the boring-ness in a positive way. Say, ‘Those are some impressive doodles,’ or ‘Are you looking forward to the Tuscan chicken wraps as much as I am?’” Use this sort of casual, non-threatening chit-chat as an opening to learning more about her. And you don’t have to try too hard to be clever. As Harris points out: “Even a boring line is still going to be less boring than the event.” It worked for Jason, 28, a New York City magazine writer. “I was late for some ski association press luncheon, but it turned out to be a good thing,” he says. “When I spotted a seat next to a cute editor, I threw my jacket on it. I cracked a few upbeat jokes and made sure to get her business card when it was over. We ended up dating for several months.”

2. On vacation
When women are away from their normal routine, it’s easier to woo them. “On vacation, women are focused on relaxation, not work and home tasks, so they’ll be more receptive to your advances,” observes Masini. Start with harmless, touristy questions about cool things to do while you’re there, and let the conversation flow. “Vacations are great because it’s easy to invite her out,” adds Harris. “Let’s say you’re both at a beach resort with friends. You can say, ‘Hey, you guys want to meet up later at the Ocean View?’ It’s much more casual than a date.” Also, don’t rule out the possibility that a fling could turn into something more. Chris, 33, an art director in Los Angeles, met Kristi while both were kicking back in Cancun. “We got each other’s phone numbers and emails, and we actually did keep in touch,” he says. “Ten months and 6,000 emails later, I moved to California to be with her. We got married a year later.”

3. Playing sports
“Co-ed adult sports are great, because you automatically have something in common,” notes Harris. Most teams head to happy hour after games, giving you plenty of time to get things going as you converse about the sport. “After a softball game, instead of a pick-up line, you can go with, ‘Where’d you learn to hit like that?’” Once you’re talking and drinking, it should be easy to mention you have two tickets to the hometown team’s upcoming game and invite her along. (Get on the field at www.sportandsocialclubs.com, which runs soccer, basketball, softball, and other sports leagues in 29 U.S. cities.) If you’re more of an individual sport kind of guy, bring some sunscreen along on your next bike ride, hike or jog, advises Masini. Then offer it to that hot-looking woman stretching on the side of the trail, and go from there.

4. Stuck in line
Lines give you a completely captive audience, especially when you’re somewhere inherently dull, like the DMV or post office. That’s when a joke can instantly lighten the mood. “You could say, ‘Should we take bets on whether we’ll be home by Sunday to watch The Sopranos reruns?’ If she laughs and says, ‘Yeah, totally,’ keep going with it.” Other places are equally workable. “Women love to be asked for their advice, so ask them what candy you should buy at the movie concession stand or what they recommend at a baseball game—popcorn or hotdogs or both?” says Masini. “You can get into a comparison/information-sharing conversation easily.” That and a sense of humor should be all the opening you need. “My little sister was a huge Backstreet Boys fan way back when,” says Van Ray, 25, a Cleveland police officer. “I ended up in line behind a beautiful girl buying tickets for her niece. Of course, she didn’t believe I was there for my sister at first, but we did wind up meeting for dinner before the concert.”

5. At a community meeting
Attending gatherings of neighborhood groups and city council meetings about recycling initiatives and proposed bike paths wins you automatic points by making you appear to be a concerned citizen—which, to many women, is pretty sexy. And because the issue is important to both of you, it lends itself to hanging out in the doorway afterwards and letting the conversation blossom. “You need to talk about the issue and you need to be sincerely interested in it, but you don’t have to be an expert,” says Harris. “If you don’t really know everything, you can ask a woman who’s there, ‘What’s your take? How’d you get involved?’ If she’s a cyclist, you have a whole other thing to talk about.” James, 32, a Washington, D.C., attorney, went to a meeting for a group opposing the building of a new mall. “I ended up talking to the group’s president,” he recalls. “We exchanged numbers so we could ‘discuss some things,’ and the next thing I knew, we were dating twice a week.”

6. In a hotel bar
“Many upscale hotels have a lounge area where women sip a drink waiting for a friend to arrive, a dinner reservation to be called, or luggage to be found,” suggests Masini. “It’s the perfect place to strike up a conversation with someone you find attractive.” A comment on her drink choice followed by some friendly travel talk (‘Where are you in from?’ ‘What brings you to the fair city of Scranton?’) should get the ball rolling. Two tips: 1. Don’t look desperate—have work, phone messages to check, or reading material. 2. If you’re not staying at the hotel, have a darn good reason why you’re there.

7. At a political rally or protest
With so many key issues (think global warming, the upcoming election) coming to a head these days, rallies and protests aren’t uncommon. As with the community meeting, conversation about the issue is a great place to start. “If you’re both holding signs outside an animal-testing lab, you’re not going to walk up and say, ‘So what’s your favorite color?’” notes Harris. “There’s a lot of passionate energy, so it’s a good time to chat and bond, and then maybe take it up a notch at the next sign-making meeting.” In other words, don’t go asking Miss Political on a date right away. Simply find out when the group’s getting together again, and say you hope to see her there. If she smiles, you just might have a new kind of social change to look forward to.

8. At the doctor’s office or a hospital
Waiting rooms, lobbies and the hospital cafeteria are great places to meet fellow visitors because, really, everyone’s just killing time. What to do? If you’re lucky enough to be a guest on a maternity ward (the only area of the hospital filled with happy people) go to the nursery and look through the window at the babies—and the other women there! “Which one is your relative?” is a great opener, says Masini. It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re related to one of the newborns—women are often attracted to guys who simply like kids. Other medical situations offer opportunities, too. While waiting at the allergist’s, chat up that woman about the poor choice of reading material. Ask her if she knows the best place to get an espresso nearby. It could lead somewhere.

9. At a Laundromat or in the laundry room
Laundromats fit into that have-to-be-here-anyway category, making them a great spot to start conversations. But how? “Ask her advice,” says Masini. “Let her be the clothes-washing expert. ‘Is yellow a color or a white?’” A magazine or book can be a potent ally; choose it wisely. “The Robb Report is for a guy on his way up the ladder—way up the ladder. A political autobiography says worldly, smart, and current.” If you’re feeling pretty comfortable with yourself, go ahead, pick that Us Weekly up off the stack. “Most women love gossip, and if you know a little — but not too much — she’ll like talking to you.”

10. On the street
Females can be a little wary on the pavement, but that doesn’t mean this environment’s hopeless. Keep an eye out for women you see regularly—that means they live in your area and may have noticed you, too. Then, when you find yourself on the same route, you can say something like, ‘I think I know you, but I can’t remember where from,’ says Masini. “And then you figure out that you both walk to the dry cleaners after work and bump into each other once a week.” As in other situations, playful comments about common experiences (dilapidated sidewalks, bad local restaurants, the dry cleaner who lost both of your blue shirts) can boost her mood and her attraction to you. Play it right, and one day you could be picking up her dry cleaning…

Steve Mazzucchi lives, writes, and looks for love in all the wrong places in New York City and Sun Valley, ID. For the female version of this story, read 10 offbeat places to meet guys.