Our surprising first date!

By Chelsea Kaplan

What does a “date” mean to you? If you automatically say “dinner and a movie,” you don’t know what you’re missing. Sure, that strategy was fine the first time around, but now that you’re more mature, self-confident, and back on the dating scene, it’s time to think outside the first-date box. Take a cue from these folks who broke out of the old stand-by evening and opted for more unconventional settings.

Home (Depot) is where the heart is
“Alton and I planned to go on a picnic for our first date, but it was pouring down rain, so we decided to go out to a restaurant instead. But beforehand we stopped at Home Depot because Alton was building a new house since his wife got theirs in the divorce settlement. I forget what he needed, but I can tell you that our very first kiss was in the cleaning-supply aisle! Our relationship has been soaring ever since, and we are getting married this September. Now every time I see a Home Depot, it makes me smile.”
– Susie Langerhaus, 37, Emmitsburg, PA

Lights, camera, action!
“I met Amy at a friend’s party, and we immediately connected because we are both huge movie buffs. I suggested we catch a movie for our first date, but we had trouble deciding what to see—there were so many good ones out. So Amy suggested we see them all. We watched four movies back-to-back, lunching on popcorn, candy and soda and chatting between each show. Not only did we catch up on all the movies we wanted to see, but we had a fantastic first date.”
– Mark Hobkin, 53, St. Louis, MO

Be open to the pots-ibilities
“I like to know what a woman enjoys doing before we go out so I can plan our first date accordingly. When Julie said she likes those paint-your-own-pottery places, I wanted to kick myself. I was in far from the best mood when we met, but her enthusiasm and fun-loving attitude immediately got the best of me. We joked around, painted silly things on vases, and occasionally on each other. I can honestly say it was one of the best dates I’ve ever had.”
– Jonathan Millstein, 38, New York, NY

Theater act
“When I felt like I was ready to begin dating again, a friend fixed me up with Don. She said he was perfect for me because he loves his kids as much as I love mine. Before our first date, Don asked me if I enjoyed the theater, and I enthusiastically said yes. You can imagine how confused I was when we pulled into an elementary school on our big night out. But I soon realized what was up. We saw a fourth-grade production of Stone Soup featuring Don’s daughter. I never would have pegged that as my ideal first date, but I was impressed that Don wanted to show that his children were his top priority. We began dating exclusively soon after our ‘theater’ date!”
– Linda Bridgham, 44, Highland Park, IL

Salsa, anyone?
“When I was in my twenties, a typical date was dinner (meat and potatoes) followed by big-band dancing. So when Paul asked me out for dinner and dancing, that’s just what I imagined. Instead, we went to a crowded Spanish tapas restaurant with salsa music. After a dinner of blood sausages, smoked meats and olives, Paul gave me a salsa lesson. Though the food wasn’t my norm and the dancing was a bit suggestive for a first date, I must admit I totally enjoyed that unconventional night!”
– Miriam Hodges, 65, Winter Park, FL

Poker perfection
“I usually take a first date to my favorite Italian restaurant around the corner. But once, I opted for a day trip to Atlantic City after I realized she and I both loved to play poker. We lost some money but had a great time. And I found myself even more attracted to her after I witnessed her card-playing skills.”
– Frank Brenner, 48, Cherry Hill, NJ

Now that’s amusing
“I hadn’t been to an amusement park in years — probably since my kids were little — so when Kris suggested we go to Six Flags for our first date, I was a little taken aback. We ended up having a blast—we ate funnel cakes, rode all of the roller coasters and Kris even won me an enormous stuffed giraffe. A few months later, we went again with all of our kids, and now that we’re married, we’ve made it a family ritual to go every few months.”
– Debbie Resnick, 55, Conyers, GA

Sowing the seeds of love
“When Tom and I spoke before our first date, I casually mentioned I was going to plant some herbs that weekend. When we met up, I thought we were visiting an art museum, but instead, he had loaded up the back of his car with all sorts of herb plants plus hoes and soil. We spent the afternoon gardening and getting to know each other. I was impressed that Tom showed an interest in one of my hobbies. Plus, focusing on an activity alleviated a lot those first-date awkward moments. My herbs are still thriving, as is my relationship with Tom.”
– Sue Poston, 60, Fairfield, CT

Animal behavior
“A date once took me on an afternoon trip to the zoo for a first date. It just so happened that we went during mating season, and the animals were all quite amorous, if you know what I mean. It set an interesting tone, to say the least, but I think we both felt a bit more relaxed from all that laughing.”
– Ricardo Colon, 44, Phoenix, AZ

The (pedi)cure for the common date
“I met Claudia through the New York Road Runner’s Club when we were both training for the New York City Marathon. Our feet were in terrible shape from all that running, and we constantly joked about it. I was nervous about asking Claudia out, probably because my divorce was fairly recent. Luckily, she took the lead. One day after a run she mentioned she was going for a pedicure and dared me to get one with her. I took her up on it and we spent our first ‘date’ at one of those drop-in nail salons. After, we walked our pretty toes — hers red, mine buffed — to lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know each other better.”
– Jeff Lai, 46, New York, NY

Writer and editor Chelsea Kaplan’s work has been featured in Men’s Health, New Woman, Bridal Guide, The Mommy Times, and www.thefamilygroove.com.

[via MSN]

Defend Yourself With 8 Easy Moves

By Andrew Thomas

Due to the many threats to women today it makes sense for any girl to learn women's self defense tactics. You are all aware of the threats like mugging, theft, assault or even rape. So pickling up some techniques that can make a real difference just makes sense.

1. Use Your Nails. If you are getting attacked, good women self defense tactics that you can learn involve using your nails to slash at the person who is attacking you. If you are getting assaulted, just use your finger nails to slash at their face. Not only does this hurt them, but law enforcement can also use the DNA as evidence.

2. The palm strike. If you want to learn one of the most effective of the women self defense techniques, learn how to use the palm strike. This is where you use the palm of your dominant hand to break an assailant's nose. Thrust your palm upward as you hit the portion of the nose near the nostril as hard as you can. This will cause bleeding and a broken nose, and their eyes will start to water. Once the eyes water, you can run away.

3. Learn to kick. Your legs can be powerful. That's why another great tactic amongst the women self defense techniques is to use them to kick various places on your attacker's body such as the shin, knee, and groin. The idea is to kick with as much force as you can so they are too injured to fight back.

4. Defend against choking. This is just one of the women self defense techniques you can use if you are getting choked from the front. If your arms are free, use your dominant hand to reach for the soft spot underneath their Adam's apple and above their sternum. Using your strongest hand you can press your pointer finger and middle finger in the soft part of their neck underneath the Adam's apple. Once they realize that they're getting choked as well, they may loosen their grip on you. They'll be surprised and may let go of you. Use this opportunity to kick them so you can flee.

5. Use your environment. When it comes to women self defense techniques, think about the objects that are around you that you can use. An example of this is if you are being attacked and see a rock, grab it and punch at the attacker. This is not always a good idea, however. Sometimes you're better off to simply flee.

6. The elbow strike. The elbow is pretty strong and can be used for some women self defense techniques. If you're close enough to your assailant and your elbow is free, you can use it to strike. Your best bet is to aim for spots on their neck, face, or you can use the elbow to break their ribs.

7. Disable and run. Remember, the goal of any of the women self defense techniques is to disable your assailant so you can run away. It is important to keep in mind that the goal of any of the women self defense techniques is that you need to be able to run away. So, if a groin kick leaves them rolling on the ground, use that opportunity to run for safety instead of stick around and kick them more.

8. Weapons defense. Some of the potential situations you may get in will be with an attacker who has a gun, knife, or other weapon. Learn some women self defense techniques that will help you defend yourself or disarm your opponent. It is a good idea to take a course in this case.

Learning about women self defense techniques can save your life and keep you safe. Awareness is the first step. The next thing you need to do after awareness is to know the tactics required to defend against a potential attack.

Easy and effective ladies self defense for you

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrew_Thomas

Liar, Liar - What Not To Do On A Date!

By Steve Kanooka

Just like the film wouldn't it be great if every internet dater was cast with a spell that meant they could not lie. For the most the online vibe is a scary place but we are driven there on the search to fulfil the most basic human desire either love or sex. Most people are very wary and rightly so. With very little information people meet random strangers, with advice from dating sites like... "make sure you tell a friend you're going on the date, and make sure you meet in a public place, day time if possible". Good advise yes of course, but is it enough?

You could have blown me down with a feather

Dan came out a divorce six months earlier. "I was an internet dater and yes I'm a real person, what the hell I thought I'd give it a try. Was I just after sex or a relationship I didn't know it was too soon to tell. Being a man I was less scared about my safety when meeting women but I could see it from their point of view. Online was cold scary place a bit like tesco's online but for people.
What's fun about that? I was still driven to meet that special one... maybe!

The process of going on a date meant that one party had to give a phone number am I comfortable? No certainly not! But what else could we do, a conversation tells a lot about someone and could be a deal breaker if the chemistry was not there.

One date was going well after a few cocktails in a trendy London hotel bar, I noticed my date, attractive tall and slim just staring at me. It was an odd stare I felt uneasy. She had told me she wanted a committed relationship on our recent phone chats. She slowly stood up, held out her hand and smiled. Confused I took her hand and she walked me over to the hotel reception and asked for a room! I was so shocked... Then she asked the receptionist if they sold condoms you could have blown me down with a feather.

Was this the girl of my dreams no, the moment most men dream of or is it? I felt her intentions were less than honest! I left!

He had a secret!

Samantha, 26, and looking for her knight in shining armour. I really warmed to this one man we chatted both on email and phoned for a few weeks before I had the courage to meet him in person. On the way to the date he called me from his mobile he said he was sorry but he was running late and when I arrived at the bar would I mind calling him back. I was already a bag of nerves and this made me even worse why would he want this? In my less that normal state I agreed. I arrived at the bar saw he was not there and sank a large vodka fast. I then called him.

"Hi I'm here, where are you" I asked "I'm not far away, thanks for calling back" he then paused... "I just wondered" he paused "does the bar have a ramp?" I stayed silent mainly through shock. He nervously filled the silence "It's just that I'm in a wheel chair" Critical information he did not share in all those weeks.

I wanted to be angry, I was angry but how could I be angry with a disabled man. We had the date which was awkward and needless to say we did not meet again he kept the truth from me. With other dates it became a joke "before we meet you're not in a wheel chair are you? It just made me more wary.

To ugly to date!

Mary, 34, met a man who looked nothing like his photo. The main reason was his photo was of his good looking mate. He felt that if he put up his own photo he would not get dates. What on earth did he think women's reaction would be?

Internet sites get the message!

So what's the solution... Many dating sites today are aware of these kind of issues and have included video chat to over come these type of problems. Sites have also included games that help to break the ice and virtual cities to walk around and meet new people. These sites offer a more fun and safer element to the online dating scene.

The stories are true the peoples names have been changed.If you have a dating story you would like to share send it to support@kanooka.com

Research from http://www.kanooka.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Kanooka

Want a Great Date? Watch a Movie

By Chai Rose

Are you thinking about asking someone out on a date for the very first time? Or maybe you've been with someone a long time but you're having trouble planning a date night that you'll both enjoy. Regardless of your current situation, the perfect choice for any date is to watch a movie.

Watching movies is a form of entertainment that 99.9% of the population enjoys. Some people love to watch movies in the comfort of their own homes, some love to catch a movie at the movie theater, and some like to do both.

Let's face it: Watching movies provides a form of escape for all of us. For 90-180 minutes we are able to escape into the world of the movie and that allows us to put our own troubles and concerns aside. We're able to sit and simply enjoy ourselves. And when we enjoy that movie with someone else, the entire experience is even better.

That's why watching a movie is great no matter what type of date your going on. But of course you need to decide what type of movie you can see that both of you will watch.

Obviously most men like action films like the Die Hard series, 3:10 to Yuma, and Rambo. Women like romantic films like 27 Dresses, Titanic, and Sleepless in Seattle. Usually movies like these are only liked by one person on the date and therefore each of these genres might not be the best choice for a date.

Instead, you should plan to see movies that are a mix of both romance and action or you should choose to see a comedy, a dramatic film, or even a horror flick. In fact, in the examples above, Titanic is considered one of the most romantic films in history but there is enough action in that movie to satisfy many men.

A safe bet if you are about to go out on a first date is to choose to see a comedy. However, if you have been with someone for a long time then the two of you should come to a mutual decision on which movie you want to see.

Want a great list of date movies. Checkout truemoviereview.com's Top 10 list here: http://truemoviereview.com/category/top-10s

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chai_Rose

5 signs your date is lying…

By Chelsea Kaplan

It’s 8:30 p.m., and your date is seriously late for your dinner date. When he finally arrives, he offers you a convoluted explanation of his whereabouts, during which he refuses to look you in the eyes and keeps rubbing his nose. Suspicious that he’s not being completely honest? You should be, says Greg Hartley, author of How to Spot a Liar: Why People Don’t Tell the Truth... and How You Can Catch Them. For hints on how you can discern the truth, consider the following signs as explained by Hartley, a decorated military interrogator who observes these signals to assess the honesty of enemy combatants. Remember, all’s fair in the game of war—and love.

5 signs your date’s hiding something…

1. This person raises his or her eyebrows
You suspect something’s up, and you’ve called her on it. She offers an explanation, ending with that, “You do believe me, don’t you?” look, with eyebrows raised. Hartley says this key body language piece indicates that your date is not being fully honest. He asks,“You know that phrase ‘lying eyes’? A lot of times, it’s more in the lying eyebrows, especially with women, so pay attention to them when she’s speaking to you.”

2. The pace of your date’s answers varies
Though your date may be offering flawless answers to your questions, what may actually give him away is the rate at which he delivers those answers. “Pay attention to inordinate time differences in his answering style,” Hartley suggests. If he rushes to answer when he usually pauses or pauses when he normally rushes, that’s a hint that something is up.”

3. Your date compliments you at an inappropriate time
Hartley says that a man often compliments a woman when he's trying to pull a fast one on her. “If in the middle of his explanation of his whereabouts, he comments on your dress or asks if you just got a haircut, be suspicious,” he says. “Guys who do so are trying to distract you and divert your attention away from their half-truths or other deceptions. Don’t fall for it.”

4. Your date plays with her hair
When a woman is being deceptive, her behavior will actually be quite similar to when she’s seducing you, explains Hartley. “When you think about it, the two actions are somewhat linked, even though they have different motivations behind them,” he says. Therefore, if you’re trying to assess your female date’s honesty, look for a sure sign of seduction: playing with her hair, a historic symbol of sexuality and attraction.

5. Your date wrings his hands
“If a guy is wringing his hands when he’s speaking to you, he may be lying,” Hartley notes. Why is this an indicator of dishonesty? Hand-wringing not only signals stress, an indicator of deception, but his putting his hands in between his body and yours creates a barrier, and a guy creating this kind of barrier is usually hiding something, explains Hartley.

...and 3 signs that your date is being completely truthful

1. Your date is calm, cool and collected
First, let’s assume your date hasn’t been exercising or rushing to meet you, nor is he or she one of those people who just naturally perspire a lot. OK, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, if your date breaks into a sweat while speaking to you, it could be a sign of stress—the stress of lying. “While dates — especially first dates — are generally stressful situations, if you’ve been together a while, there should be no reason your date should feel much stress and be sweating,” says Hartley, “unless, of course, there’s something that is giving him or her reason to be stressed and sweating.” Like the fact that this person just told you a whopper…

2. He sticks to just the facts, ma’am
Perhaps one of the most common indicators of a lie is a too-detailed explanation. “This is one of the easiest ones to spot, but strangely, one deception that women often fall for,” Hartley notes. Don’t be fooled by his incredible attention to detail or his ability to recount every step he’s taken, he cautions. “A guy who offers you a detailed explanation is almost always lying; in general, guys just don’t recall details—that’s more women’s territory,” he says. “If his story or alibi about where he was or why he was late is ‘too good,’ there’s probably a reason why: He crafted it himself.” If he gives you a simple, short, reasonable explanation, chances are he’s telling you the truth and sees no need to embellish it, Hartley says.

3. She keeps her head up straight
If your date is fibbing, she may look you in the eye, but she’ll almost always cock or tilt her head to one side, Hartley says. “This flirty behavior is both a sign of seduction and lying,” he notes. “With this body language, she’s probably trying to reel you in sexually so as to distract you from her lies,” he says. A woman who’s telling the truth, however, will look at you head-on, he says, with her neck and head as straight as an arrow. Now that you know these clues, look for them to make sure you’re hanging out with the kind of honest person who is worthy of you and your time!

Chelsea Kaplan’s blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at www.chelseakaplan.com.

10 Turnoffs that Make Great Gals Wave Goodbye

By Jeff Cohen
Special to Yahoo! Personals

Most guys know from the get-go whether or not they see potential in a woman. There's that inner voice that tells you this is someone worth pursuing.

When the first date ends, you're not even thinking about playing games. You know you want a second date. You wait your standard two days, call to set up that date and get the dreaded voicemail.

You leave a heartfelt message, but after three days it becomes clear this great gal is not calling you back. Where did you go wrong? Were you the only one feeling sparks over lattes?

Top 10 turnoffs for women
Maybe the answer is to learn the top 10 turnoffs that make great gals wave goodbye. If any of these fictional guys sound like you, it's time to change your approach.

Great Gal Turnoff #1: Showboat Sammy
Maybe he owns a yacht off the coast of France. Maybe he has a timeshare in the Hamptons. Maybe his annual bonus is bigger than most guys' salaries. That's all well and good, but does it really need to be divulged on the first date?

Great Gal Turnoff #2: Messy Melvin
A-list celebrities can pull off the unkempt look. First-daters need to pay attention to shaving, clothing and bad breath. If the guy can't even put in the effort for a first impression, it doesn't bode well down the road.

Great Gal Turnoff #3: Rude Ricky
"Where's our drinks, lady?" If a guy treats the service staff with a lack of respect, a great gal will likely assume he'll do the same to her someday. The last thing anyone wants is to be talked down to or disrespected.

Great Gal Turnoff #4: Cheapie Charlie
There will always be debate about who should pay on a first date. Some guys are traditionalists and want to foot the bill; others expect a 50-50 monetary split. In most cases, offering to pay is the way to go. Let her pick up the tab on a future date.

Great Gal Turnoff #5: Still-Married Michael
Marriage, separation and divorce are pretty cut-and-dry terms. If a guy says he's separated when he really means he's cheating on his wife, it's going to cause trouble. Be honest from the get-go and let the dating chips fall where they may.

Great Gal Turnoff #6: Hands-On Howie
Guys need to read the signals before assuming hand holding, massaging and other touchy-feely activities have the green light.Jumping too quickly to any form of intimacy can make any guy seem too aggressive.

Great Gal Turnoff #7: Stereotyping Stephen
"Oh, you're one of those types of women." Jumping to conclusions about a date from the way she answers one or two questions is a definite mistake. Let the date unfold before making assumptions about someone you just met.

Great Gal Turnoff #8: Distracted David
His cell phone is ringing constantly, he's popping away from the table every 10 minutes, and he keeps interrupting the conversation flow. First dates require focused attention -- that means putting the phone on vibrate, making eye contact and being present.

Great Gal Turnoff #9: All-Business Barry
Some guys are great salesmen or outstanding negotiators. But there's a time and place for business and a time and place for leisure. Guys who treat first dates like business transactions will never close the deal.

Great Gal Turnoff #10: Nervous Ned
He can't sit still, he's banging his fork on the table, and he won't make eye contact for more than three seconds. Nervous antics are a real turnoff and make a great gal think a guy has something to hide. Work out the nervous kinks before the date starts.

How Can You Find A Date? Using the Emotional Language

By Alan Lim

Think of the law of first impression
The law of first impression is utmost and paramount if you in actual fact have to find a date. This should be highly connected to the way you open up yourself to the other party. One of the greatest criteria to judge your sincerity is the manner in which you look at the other. Therefore, looking directly into the eyes of your potential date will be very instrumental. People who have a genuine interest to find a date in others often get in touch with the eyes of the other. You should continually do this while discussing with the other. But watch out against fixing your gaze at him or her for too long, because this may be taken to mean gazing or panicking.

Form a good body language
To find a date equally means to show your interest in a particular person. Thus, sit head-on to that person while talking to him or her. This is presumably taken to mean your entire attention has been given to that person.

Watch out your manner of conversation
In order to effectively find a date, you must interrelate with your intention. To develop attraction, there must be fun and fun goes hand in gloves with conversation. Avoid showering your potential date with lots of question. Be conscious of the type of questions to ask. Ask question which relate to his or her age, environment, interest or hobbies. Keep away from asking too many questions especially when a favorable answer has not been given to the previous one. If you ask more than two question when an answer has not been provided to any of the first ones, you may sound boring. Tell your potential date one of two stories that he or she can possibly participate in, and that can equally bring out an answer to any of your questions.

Avoid alcohol if you intend to find a date
Most people find it uneasy to talk face-to-face to others. They have a tendency to always use alcohol as a defensive mechanism to find a date. When you drink, you become nervous and when you are nervous, you talk and act too fast. You even talk at the top of your voice without you getting to know this.

Finally, always have that believe that the worst can happen even to you when you seek to find a date. It is not an obligation that you must find a date at every meeting. So when you are turned down, take it to be a normal occurrence. Keep in mind that credit does not go to the person who points out where a strong man stumbled or where he should have stood up. It goes to the man who always situates himself in the arena, who fails but never stops trying.

There is a great possibility that you can get a date of your choice if you have the self-belief. Do you instantly want to meet people out there? If yes, log on to Find a Date to discover people who need the love and affection that you have.

Your First Gay Date No-No

By Eking Huang

So, you got your first gay date at last! But it is not the end of your hard - long and winding road to find your soul mate. In fact, it is just your beginning of more heartbreak journey. Your first date moves will produces more second date or unfortunately a closed door even before you've tried to open it.

" Knock---Knock! Sorry. I'm not at home. I know you are out there but get out of my door".

1.Pick the wrong Place!
Make sure you pick the right place for your first date. Check and make sure if he's out to his family, friends and how he feels about it. It will be awfully nasty awkward to find him keeping his eyes popping out since you take him to the place where he usually hangs out and he's afraid of running into someone who may know or suspect him of being gay. Oh, my GOSH--- He's gorgeous but he's not OUT.

Suggest a meeting during your office lunch break will be ideal. You both probably are in your formal office suit and meeting other guy this way make impression that you are having a lunch meeting with your client discussing new deals not with your boy friend.

I know it's not romantic but seeing him during lunch break will give more opportunity to you. Especially, if you are the one who is not out. It takes your worries away. You will be more relax and be your full self.

Since the lunch time hour is limited, and during one-hour time, you will practically eat, talk and be ready to hit back to your office. You don't have to invent any excuses to run away once you find out your date is a boy from hell. In contrary, if you have find mutual attraction you will crave to see him very soon and will ensure more dates

2. Make him wait.
Being late will imprint your bad image and a sure thing your love will not going any where in future. You make it worse if you are making out excuses. We always, somehow, are able to find it out sooner or later. Believe me.

Come at least half an hour earlier, and make yourself comfortable, relax and you will be less stressful once you see him face to face.

3. Make and receive phone call during date
Don't do it. You will give him impression that you are not interested in him and show little attention to your conversation. First date is a mutual interview process to get to know more each other. But if you are not interested...it's be your first and last date.

It's yikee - yikee if every 10 minutes he has to cut your conversation to make phone call or busy SMS-ing. Unless your house is on fire and the call from the police office, turn your cell phone OFF. If you feel trapped with this boy and need a rescue, please do it discreetly.

3. Dominate all the conversation - Another big turn-off. You don't have to show off your attribute, asset, traits or your riches and don't talk about your ex-es, whining about your bad experience with him, and how bad he treated you. Your past is past - don't dig it. You are here to start fresh new start with your potential date. He's not your shrink! Your conversation should come in a natural way of give and take style conversation.

4. Don't bring your friend on your date.
Pheww!! Am I dating you or your friend? You aren't suggesting a 3some, are you? Come on. Bringing your friend over is the least-thing you should do. It's stressful for both of you during the first date meeting but having friend come by was even more stressful.

5. Make him foot the bill
Since he's the one who ask you out-let him foot all bill, right? It's simply a courtesy of gentleman in straight love scene. But we are not. It makes me feel guilty and feel like a woman if I let my date foot the entire bill. I prefer to go on Dutch so I don't feel oblige to ask him out for second date just to return the favor.

http://www.privategaypersonals.comMore dating tips and gay health issue

A Date With Destiny

By Victoria Leal

September 25, 2007, a fine day it’s starting out to be. I’m sitting here in the garage contemplating cutting the yard, at least the front yard. I get into motion, go out and start to pick up the fallen sticks and branches from the hovering trees and my mind is made up. I gassed up the lawnmower and went to work. If my neighbors were looking, they may have wondered what was up with me; I’m tackling this grueling job, with a big smile on my face. I’m not wearing headphones; I’m not listening to anything, but the thoughts inside of my head.

Prior to cutting the yard, I was talking to one of my girlfriends on the phone and I told her that it looked like rain, so I was going to get off the phone and get started. Within only a few minutes, I knew that I was going to get to complete the cutting of the front yard…without a doubt. This was going to happen, no matter what. As I began cutting, it started to rain lightly and my smile grew bigger because I already knew that it would be finished. The rain was so light that you could not tell the difference between it and my sweat. It all looked the same. Then all of a sudden, the rain stopped and I just kept cutting. After a few more minutes, it began to rain again, still lightly…and I still went on cutting…never stopping. Because remember, I knew that the job would be finished, without a doubt. Not once, did I ever say, “Oh God, please let me finish before it really starts to pour down.” It was not necessary. In times past, I definitely would have said that, but not today, not anymore.

As I hit the home stretch, the rain continued but it began to pick up slightly. I had two rows left to finish. At the end of the first row, the rain began to pour down and I continued to smile. On the last row, it was me and the rain, in full force. When I completed the last row, I let go of the mower handle and raised my hands in the air and said, “Thank You.”

Now you may be wondering, “What’s the big deal? I’ve been there, done that.” But here’s the big deal: I knew without the slightest bit of doubt that I would complete my task. I also knew that however it turned out, there was nothing that I could do to effect a change. I’ve never know this before. But at that moment, I knew that there was nothing I could do to stop anything from happening, that what ever was going to happen was going to happen. I also knew, in that moment, that everything that happens in this life happens exactly as it is suppose to…I knew it in my heart, in my mind, in my spirit, and in my body. In that moment, I knew that my life was perfect, whole and complete.

Now, there are those who may say that it was positive thinking or that through some universal law, I willed the completion of the job into effect, or that I visualized myself completing the job…but I’m telling you, none of that is true! I just knew at that moment that whatever was going to happen was going to happen and that there was absolutely nothing that I could do to effect a change, nor did I want to. In that precious moment, my eyes were opened, my spiritual eyes, and I realized that everything that I have been through and everything that I have yet to go through has happened and will happen, EXACTLY as it is suppose to. And with that thought in mind, there are no more worries, no more fears, no more doubts, no more second guessing yourself; nothing but the pure joy of watching this game of life unfold and becoming excited about the tremendous possibilities that are loaded in each and every moment. It’s like watching a script of your life unfold on the screen and you are watching in complete amazement.
Ultimately, you already know the outcome and you already know that by the end of the movie, you will be just fine. You are completely safe and nothing can ever harm you. So, with this in mind, you just watch how the different events unfold, you note your thoughts about the events, and all the while knowing that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, you just relax.

Know that the script has already been written, the movie has already been directed and produced and has hit the box office. Think of it this way, when you go to a movie, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the movie. You have no choice but to sit there and watch it unfold and at the end of the movie, you leave the theater. I was talking to my oldest son this morning and he was expressing a concern about is life and as we talked more about it, I told him that whatever decision he made, it would be the perfect decision for him. He said, “What if I start to make a decision and fear sets in and I change my mind and not follow through with my first thought?” And I told him, in no uncertain terms, that all of that has already been factored into the script, if you will.

Every thought, every feeling, every emotion, and every action has already been factored in and there is nothing you can do to effect a change. Whatever you do, you can’t make a mistake, you can’t mess it up, you will make the prefect choice every time.

Because we think of ourselves as humans, we feel that we have to fight back, or that we have to say something, or do something about what is going on in our lives but nothing could be further from the truth. Whatever we think, do, or say has already been factored in, so quit fighting it, quit feeling guilty, quit agonizing over your decisions and when you finally realize that everything really is happening exactly as it should, different things will begin to happen for you and to you. Your higher spirit will not let you down, believe me, it will take care of everything, it will give you everything you desire and then some and right now your only job is to trust, totally and completely, whatever is happening to you.

Situations that have previously been difficult to deal with and that have caused you grief, no longer seem impossible to deal with. The emotions that use to flood your body are no longer there because you realize that everything is happening exactly as it is suppose to and the best part is that everything is happening, for the good of you, no matter if you can see that right now or not, trust and believe that it is. This means that whatever someone else says to you or does to you just know that they are acting exactly as their part has been written. In fact, they deserve multiple Oscars! As TCM (Turner Classic Movies) puts it…”Damn Good Actor!” And this is all anyone in your life is, an actor, playing a role, and doing a damn good job at it. In fact, you should just look at them in amazement because the real truth is that you wrote the script, hired the actors, and you couldn’t have picked a better person to play that part!

Victoria Leal is the Owner of Reality Check.bravehost.com. To find helpful information on how to live the kind of life you deserve, please visit: http://realitycheck.bravehost.com This article is copyright 2007 by Victoria Leal and may be reprinted in it's entirety as long as this byline and copyright statement are included.

How You Can Land a One Night Stand Date

By Scott Patterson

Get yourself into a serious relationship and you will (theoretically) only ever have sex with one woman for the rest of your life; stay single and you can sleep with however many girls you like.
Or so the theory goes.

In practice, chances are you sleep with nowhere near as many girls as you would like. In fact, there's a very good probability that you're currently sleeping with none.

So, if you want to start carving all those one night stand notches into your bedpost, let me show you how it's done.

The trouble with girls is that they get hit on all the time. They've heard every line before, they've seen all the smoothest moves, and it's going to take something mighty clever if you want them to take any notice of you.

I'm about to tell you what that something mighty clever is.

You see, women have a weakness: they just can't fight their urge to feel special.

If a chick thinks you're out on the pull, if she thinks she's the first girl you've spotted in a short enough mini skirt, you're not going to stand a chance.

But convince her that sex was not your plan tonight, that she's the only girl in the room who could possibly have made you ditch your mates and dance with her, and, believe it, she’ll eventually want you badly
The simplest way to achieve this is to find an easy target. And by that I don't mean an ugly one. I mean the second most attractive girl in any group, the one who suspects that she's pretty, but is always overshadowed by her foxy friend.

Take your time choosing, and take your time approaching her. If you go charging on over the moment she arrives, she's going to assume that the late night pick up is a bit of a bad habit of yours. Instead, convince her that you're new to this by appearing cautious and uncertain – make “accidental” eye contact, or let her mates catch you staring; stall for up to an hour before eventually going over.

Offer her a drink or ask her to dance. And, strange as it may seem, don't started raving about how hot she is – she wants to believe you see more to her than her sexy looks.

Smile and listen to what she's saying. Maintain eye contact. Body language is the key to successful seduction, so keep yourself close to her and don't let your attention wander. Don't touch her yet, but, as the night wears on, slowly lean closer and closer to her until your lips are almost touching – the anticipation and uncertainty will drive her wild.

As the evening draws to a close, ask if you can walk her home. Ideally, you want to go back to her place - she'll feel more relaxed there, and you can leave at any time – but if she'd prefer to go back to yours, just be prepared to make calm, polite excuses in the morning.

Don't mention sex. Stick to the “coffee” routine. It's a game and you both know it, but keep playing along because it makes her feel daring and excited. And that gets her hot.

Sit yourself next to her. Keep your bodies close. Glance at her lips, look back to her eyes. She wants you.

But wait.

Because if you wait just a little bit longer, if you keep up the intimate body language, if you gaze at her as though you can barely contain yourself, she'll be the one to start kissing you. And when she does, she'll be begging you please don't stop.

Want to learn 50 WAYS for approaching, attracting and seducing women? If so, take a look at Scott Patterson's Free eBook which provides 50 tips for instant dating success.

What Makes A Woman Happy During A Date

By Pauline Go

Often men do not understand what a woman likes even after numerous meetings. Men find women interesting and mysterious. But women do like certain aspects about their men, and here are some of them.

Confidence – This is the most important aspect that can be portrayed in different ways. However, it is more important to show a woman that her man is strong, reliable and independent.

A gentleman – A good guy often finishes first. Women love men who are courteous; open the door for them, walk on the right side of the street, carry their shopping bags, offer their jacket on the days that are cold and have immense respect for women in general.

A good sense of humor – Women feel comfortable in the company of men who are witty and intelligent. Apart from making the woman laugh, a good sense of humor also helps in avoiding getting bored.

A good listener – Women do have the habit of talking a lot. They want their men to listen attentively to their conversations apart from replying and expressing opinion about certain topics.

Sensitive – Women admire men who treat and cherish them like a precious jewel. Women are sensitive and like to be treated like queens.

Faithful – Another important feature that women appreciate in men is being trustworthy. Often those who can stick to their relationship are admired. However, men should always avoid speaking anything about their past relationships at the time of discussions.

A friend, not just lover – Women often look for a good friend in their men. They like their men who can be there when required and who is attentive to the girl’s needs.

Apart from these, girls also appreciate men who can spring surprises, gift her lovely presents, who are physically appealing, stylish and those who are financially sound.

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Dating Advice Remaining Cautious During A Date

By Pauline Go

Dating is all about building a relationship that could last forever. However, one should be careful while going on a date as one might end up facing various unknown situations in unforeseen circumstances

Conversation: Women do not always like men who are not careful about their pace. Men should never ask any questions which a woman might hesitate to answer. A few questions that are safe include details about her hometown, her profession, her education, friends, habits, hobbies and favorite tourist spots.

Online Dating: Online dating is always a tricky affair. If the online dating leads to conventional dating potential problems can be avoided if the meeting is fixed during the day at any public place such as a restaurant, coffee shop, shopping mall or multiplex. While dating online, one should never provide any private information including residential address, occupation, account details and telephone number. One could ask for snail mail as an alternative.

Unclear Communication: Any relationship can only blossom when the communication is clear. However, one should get cautious if the other person gives vague answers or avoids giving his contact number.

Desperation: One should never enter into a relation out of desperation or just for the purpose of preventing loneliness. It is always better to relax after a breakup. Also, one should avoid men who are abusive.

The most ideal way to find a right man is to have firm belief in your instincts. Usually, women do have a strong sense of intuition. However, it is sometimes useful to take along a trusted friend while going on a date with an unknown person so as to avoid any pitfalls.

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What Men Expect During A Date

By Pauline Go

Many times people wonder about the expectations of a woman from a man. However, even men do have certain expectations from women. Most importantly, in order to get a perfect man, a woman should also be perfect. Listed below are some of those qualities that men usually search in a woman.
Honest and Trustworthy: Men are extremely possessive about their woman. Often men do not like women who still think about their past relationships or those who have a flirtatious nature. They want their partner to be completely committed to their relationship.

Matching interests: Men prefer those women whose interests match with their own. It would be easier to carry on the relationship with a person who has similar interests.

Appearance: Men are seeking a woman who is attractive to them. A good appearance and a healthy toned body is always the most preferred feature in a woman. Hence, women should always be dressed for the occasion in a way that turns heads

Personality: Men admire women who are caring, gentle, supportive, intelligent and have a positive attitude. However, men also dislike those women who are dominant. Hence, one should learn to adopt a balanced approach in order to have a successful date. Another beautiful way to tame a guy’s heart is to have a good sense of humor. A woman’s laugh could make an everlasting impression. Apart from this, men also appreciate women who are wise at spending money and are good at managing finances.

Sexuality: Sexuality is another aspect that men often look into. Creating an aura of ambiguity is important as men get attracted to women who are intriguing, mysterious and alluring. They want their woman to become passionate and turn into a wild horse while making love.
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Who Pays For The First Date?

By Evan Katz

A few years ago, I went out with a woman three times in a couple of weeks. We had great chemistry, and despite the fact that I was a customer service representative at JDate pulling in barely $30K, I’d paid for everything. First date was $60. Second date was $90. The third date was brunch the morning after the second date. She’d ordered a dozen bagels and then realized she’d forgotten her wallet. No big deal. An innocent mistake. She generously offered to pick up our next date.

She called me at work the following day to tell me of a play that sounded like fun. She said she was busy at work and asked if I could find out if there were tickets available. No problem. I called the theater and learned there were only six left. What’s a guy to do? No big deal, I bought a pair of tickets and figured she’d pick up dinner before we went out.

After our $40 meal, she put down her credit card and went to the bathroom. When she came back, she noticed that I didn’t put in my credit card to pick up or split the check. Upon which she glared at me and said, with a ton of venom and not a shred of irony: "What am I, your sugar mama?!"

Yeah, being a guy isn’t always the most rewarding thing in the world. But what are you gonna do? I’ve stopped wondering about what’s "fair" and have decided to embrace the system I’ve inherited. In this system, a guy pays unquestionably, and if a woman offers to pay, he is supposed to say no. At least on the first few dates. Or as long as she’s being courted. Or maybe always. It depends on the woman. We can never know unless we let down our guard and allow her to pick up a check. And by then, it’s often too late to justify your behavior.

This is a quandary all right and there is no one right answer. Until now. As your friendly neighborhood single dating coach, I’m going to give you the definitive rulebook on how to negotiate this tricky territory, once and for all….

WHAT PEOPLE SAY:

HER: He should WANT to pay for me.

Yes, and, generally, that is the case. Being generous, especially to someone you care about, is an incredible feeling - right up there, I’m told, with having everything paid for by someone else. The one time I forgot my wallet on a date, she gracefully picked up the check and told me not to worry. This was both extremely classy, and extremely appreciated.

HIM: She EXPECTS me to pay for everything.

Yes, and that’s the precedent that was established way before you were born. Don’t fight it, just do it with a smile, ’cause if you don’t, you ain’t getting another date.

HER: He SHOULD pay, especially at the beginning.

This logic is a little dicier. Why should a man pay? Because it’s chivalrous? Consider that chivalry started at a time when men worked and women didn’t. Women, literally, could NOT pay. Thus, men picking up the check sprung out of necessity, not out of kindness. It has since been codified into a gentleman’s code, which is considered in very poor taste to question. I’m not questioning, but see how angry you are that I’m even bringing it up?

HIM: But SHE asked me out.

So what? If etiquette says that you pay for the first date, and she expects you to pay for the first date, and you can afford to pay for the first date, then pay for the damn first date.

HER: It doesn’t matter what he makes. A gentleman always pays. It indicates how he feels about me.

If a guy makes a ton of money, I can assure you, it’s his absolute joy and pleasure to spring for every last drink and spa treatment. But there’s a big difference between being cheap and being poor. Cheap means the guy asks the woman to pay for the fish when he ordered the less expensive chicken. Poor means that the guy has trouble making rent if he has to pay for five dates in a month. Put yourself in his position: it’s hard to blame him for wanting to alternate checks.

My solution is, not surprisingly, an equivocation. Let’s all try to understand one another.
Guys, be as generous as possible, not only because she expects you to, but because it’s genuinely rewarding to "be the guy" and make life easier on her.

Women, be sympathetic to the grad student or schoolteacher that doesn’t have the means to be as chivalrous as he’d like. You may not be our sugar mamas, but please don’t take it for granted that we’re your ATM’s, okay?

Postscript: A version of this article was written five years ago. Since that time, I find myself in a much greater position to be generous. I remain sympathetic to men who can’t blindly pick up every single check.

My slightly revised position for who pays on a first date is this:

He grabs the check immediately.She does the "fake reach".He waves her off and insists on paying.She thanks him for his generosity. End of scene.

Presuming the man can safely afford it, this script should play out on every date during the courting phase.

HOWEVER:
You, as a man, can’t get mad if she doesn’t make the offer to split. If you offer to take her out, expect to pay for the whole thing, and be pleasantly surprised if you don’t have to.

You, as a woman, can’t get mad if he accepts your reach. If you offer to split, and he lets you split (or even pick up) the check, he has done absolutely nothing wrong. It’s not a game or a test, unless you treat it like one.

One final, overriding note for men: It doesn’t matter if it’s coffee or dinner, whether you make more or she makes more, whether you asked her out or she asked you out. You can never go wrong by paying.

Dating coach Evan Marc Katz is the author of Why You're Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not To Get Mad" and "I Can't Believe I'm Buying this Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating". He has been seen on The Today Show, The Early Show, CNN and Fox, and featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal and Time Magazine. Reach him at http://www.evanmarckatz.com and read his regular advice columns at http://www.advicefromasingledatingexpert.com.