Romantic Ideas for Everyday

20 romantic ways to show your sweetie you care no matter what the occasion.
By The Nest

Valentine's Day, First-Date Anniversary, Tuesday — when you're in love, just about any day is a perfect excuse for sparking romance. Any time you feel the need to connect with your sweetheart, these ideas are perfect — no holiday necessary.



1. Stuff a little love note in your sweetie's pocket, sock, or shoe. For maximum impact, try email.

2. Secretly load a photo of the two of you as the desktop wallpaper on your honey's computer.

3. Burn a CD with tunes from your dating days and include your first dance (or favorite) song.

4. Buy a heart-shaped cookie-cutter and use it to make toast the next morning.

5. Look up the date of the next full moon and celebrate with a champagne toast.

6. Learn to ice skate or in-line skate together. This works best when both of you are beginners — the more clinging to each other, the better.

7. Hate basketball and your main squeeze is addicted to it? Get tickets to a game. Despise musicals? Surprise your sweetie with tickets to a show. Go against the grain, and endure with grace and cheer.

8. Spend the day at a museum, holding hands.

9. Forget breakfast in bed. Have dinner in bed (and don't worry about the crumbs).

10. Go to bed early. No books, no magazines, no remote control.

11. Tell a secret — it'll bring you closer.

12. Create your own cocktail together. Then make up a name for it by combining your two names.

13. Write "I Love You" on the steamy mirror while your beloved is in the shower.

14. Go to a bookstore or music store together, then split up. Your mission: Buy something you know your sweetie will love. Then, wrap and exchange.

15. Have a picnic. It doesn't have to be outdoors, it can be on your living room floor.

16. Absence is an aphrodisiac. Spend a weekend without each other (substitute your best pal, your sister, your old college roommate) and plan to meet back at your place after 48 hours apart.

17. Teach each other about something the other knows nothing about. He can teach her all the rules of chess, or how to make a perfect omelet. She can teach him ten phrases in French and how to use the digital camera.

18. Get away from it all close to home — spend a night in a very luxurious hotel or cozy bed-and-breakfast in your own city.

19. Get dressed together — choose each other's attire (for work, for dinner out, whatever). Then, later, get undressed together.

20. Find your sweetie's car in the parking lot and tuck a love note under the windshield wiper.

[via MSN]

“I hate my guy’s friends!”

By Julie Weingarden Dubin

I’ll never forget the guy I dated whose three best friends were like a group of seventh-grade (mean) girls. His pals needed to “approve” me, gossiped way too much and spent more on clothes and hair products than I did. Ick. I just couldn’t get past his high-maintenance trio.

We’ve all been there: Great-seeming guys, nightmare friends. How do you know when to deal with his buddies and when to run? We asked psychotherapist and relationship expert Ellen Chute whether each of these types of friends could be tamed:

Hateful Friend #1—The inside jokester
Elizabeth, 32, of Chicago, was on the fence about a guy she’d been dating a few months, but when she met his friends, she knew that she needed to make a break. “The guy was intelligent, but he had low self-esteem,” she says. When she met his friends (who all worked in the same IT department), they didn’t include her in any conversations but instead made weird inside jokes all night. “It was awful,” she says. “His friends seemed to lack the basic social skills necessary to talk to someone they didn’t already know, and I started to see my date was no different.”

How to make nice: First, let your date know you feel left out. Believe it or not, he may not realize you’re not hanging on their every word. Try saying: “Hey, it seems like you guys are really close, but when you tell all those stories about work people, I feel like an outsider.” If he says, “We just get like that when we’re together”—that’s not good. But if he apologies and promises to steer the topic away from inside references to middle-school hijinks, then you know he has a sensitivity chip. And who knows? You may find his friends are actually more socially-evolved once they get talking about mainstream topics like Barack Obama or the post-writer-strike TV options.

Hateful Friend #2—The Vince Vaughn type
This is the guy who — like the characters Vince Vaughn inevitably plays — tries to convince your date that women are balls and chains and he’s better off without you. Briana, 31, of Los Angeles, can relate. She fell in love with her boyfriend right away, but loathed his best friend. He constantly put her down and tried to persuade her boyfriend to give Briana the boot. But she wasn’t going to let one jerk scare her away from a great guy. So she decided to be the bigger person and reach out to his friend. “When I needed to book a speaker for work, I called him, and he hooked me up with someone,” she says. “He was great and made me shine at work—and I made him shine.” He ended up apologizing and telling Briana he had her pegged all wrong. “I think he gained respect for me when he saw that I was able to separate work from our personal problems.” Now, Briana, her beau and his bud all hang out happily.

How to make nice: Remember: This pal isn’t your guy. And just because your man thinks his Old School-ish pal is amusing, doesn’t mean he values his opinion. Chances are, the VV type is jealous that your man found someone great. Or, he feels threatened that you’re taking his best friend away (really!). Do let your date know if the guy says something truly jerky (“You two will last maybe three weeks”). If he knows his friend is being rude to you and doesn’t do anything, or says something like, “Let it go” or “He talks to everyone that way,” then do yourself a huge favor and move on.

Hateful Friend #3—The player
How do you know this guy can’t keep it in his pants? Because he flirts with you! When Alison, 34, of Philadelphia, started dating Sam, his best friend propositioned her. “I never told Sam about Jude coming on to me because I felt like I could handle it,” she says. “When Jude suggested that we get together alone, I said, ‘No thanks’.” But Jude continued to make her feel uncomfortable, and Alison soon realized she didn’t like Sam enough to put up with his best friend, Mr. Octopus.

How to make nice: If it’s just a glance or two in your direction, try ignoring it (some guys just can’t help drooling over women). But if he makes a clear advance or says something truly suggestive, say something right away: “I’m dating Jason and am not at all interested in you.” And do tell your date, just in case he hears a twisted version of the story (“Man, it was crazy, your lady came on to me outside the bathroom”). Chances are, your date knows that his friend is a dog with women, and will (a) tell his pal to keep his hands off, and (b) keep you two apart as much as possible.

Hateful Friend #4—The mooch
So you’re dating a guy whose roommate thinks it’s fine to tag along for Thai food or to the movies? It happens. Amy, 26, of Farmington Hills, Michigan, was annoyed when her date’s roommate felt it was fine to hang out with them in front of the TV on an early date. She thought: What’s with a guy who lets his roommates join in a date? But she didn’t know how to get the roomie pal to quit hanging out with them.

How to make nice: Some folks are just clueless—and if your guy happens to room with one of these unfortunate souls, you shouldn’t hold it against him. That said, it’s not a good sign if your date can’t let his buddy know he’s not welcome on his dates. Let your date know you’d love to hang out more with him—and just with him. Let him know nicely that you’d prefer if the pal didn’t join. If his friend continues to show up, show your date to the door.

One last word of advice: A guy’s friends are very important to him (just as yours probably are to you). So know that you may have to tolerate some times with a less than favorite person, but if your guy’s a keeper, it’s worth it!

Julie Weingarden Dubin writes for Cosmopolitan, Redbook, and Shape. She is the author of How to Plan an Elegant Second Wedding and lives in Huntington Woods, Michigan.

[via MSN]

Our surprising first date!

By Chelsea Kaplan

What does a “date” mean to you? If you automatically say “dinner and a movie,” you don’t know what you’re missing. Sure, that strategy was fine the first time around, but now that you’re more mature, self-confident, and back on the dating scene, it’s time to think outside the first-date box. Take a cue from these folks who broke out of the old stand-by evening and opted for more unconventional settings.

Home (Depot) is where the heart is
“Alton and I planned to go on a picnic for our first date, but it was pouring down rain, so we decided to go out to a restaurant instead. But beforehand we stopped at Home Depot because Alton was building a new house since his wife got theirs in the divorce settlement. I forget what he needed, but I can tell you that our very first kiss was in the cleaning-supply aisle! Our relationship has been soaring ever since, and we are getting married this September. Now every time I see a Home Depot, it makes me smile.”
– Susie Langerhaus, 37, Emmitsburg, PA

Lights, camera, action!
“I met Amy at a friend’s party, and we immediately connected because we are both huge movie buffs. I suggested we catch a movie for our first date, but we had trouble deciding what to see—there were so many good ones out. So Amy suggested we see them all. We watched four movies back-to-back, lunching on popcorn, candy and soda and chatting between each show. Not only did we catch up on all the movies we wanted to see, but we had a fantastic first date.”
– Mark Hobkin, 53, St. Louis, MO

Be open to the pots-ibilities
“I like to know what a woman enjoys doing before we go out so I can plan our first date accordingly. When Julie said she likes those paint-your-own-pottery places, I wanted to kick myself. I was in far from the best mood when we met, but her enthusiasm and fun-loving attitude immediately got the best of me. We joked around, painted silly things on vases, and occasionally on each other. I can honestly say it was one of the best dates I’ve ever had.”
– Jonathan Millstein, 38, New York, NY

Theater act
“When I felt like I was ready to begin dating again, a friend fixed me up with Don. She said he was perfect for me because he loves his kids as much as I love mine. Before our first date, Don asked me if I enjoyed the theater, and I enthusiastically said yes. You can imagine how confused I was when we pulled into an elementary school on our big night out. But I soon realized what was up. We saw a fourth-grade production of Stone Soup featuring Don’s daughter. I never would have pegged that as my ideal first date, but I was impressed that Don wanted to show that his children were his top priority. We began dating exclusively soon after our ‘theater’ date!”
– Linda Bridgham, 44, Highland Park, IL

Salsa, anyone?
“When I was in my twenties, a typical date was dinner (meat and potatoes) followed by big-band dancing. So when Paul asked me out for dinner and dancing, that’s just what I imagined. Instead, we went to a crowded Spanish tapas restaurant with salsa music. After a dinner of blood sausages, smoked meats and olives, Paul gave me a salsa lesson. Though the food wasn’t my norm and the dancing was a bit suggestive for a first date, I must admit I totally enjoyed that unconventional night!”
– Miriam Hodges, 65, Winter Park, FL

Poker perfection
“I usually take a first date to my favorite Italian restaurant around the corner. But once, I opted for a day trip to Atlantic City after I realized she and I both loved to play poker. We lost some money but had a great time. And I found myself even more attracted to her after I witnessed her card-playing skills.”
– Frank Brenner, 48, Cherry Hill, NJ

Now that’s amusing
“I hadn’t been to an amusement park in years — probably since my kids were little — so when Kris suggested we go to Six Flags for our first date, I was a little taken aback. We ended up having a blast—we ate funnel cakes, rode all of the roller coasters and Kris even won me an enormous stuffed giraffe. A few months later, we went again with all of our kids, and now that we’re married, we’ve made it a family ritual to go every few months.”
– Debbie Resnick, 55, Conyers, GA

Sowing the seeds of love
“When Tom and I spoke before our first date, I casually mentioned I was going to plant some herbs that weekend. When we met up, I thought we were visiting an art museum, but instead, he had loaded up the back of his car with all sorts of herb plants plus hoes and soil. We spent the afternoon gardening and getting to know each other. I was impressed that Tom showed an interest in one of my hobbies. Plus, focusing on an activity alleviated a lot those first-date awkward moments. My herbs are still thriving, as is my relationship with Tom.”
– Sue Poston, 60, Fairfield, CT

Animal behavior
“A date once took me on an afternoon trip to the zoo for a first date. It just so happened that we went during mating season, and the animals were all quite amorous, if you know what I mean. It set an interesting tone, to say the least, but I think we both felt a bit more relaxed from all that laughing.”
– Ricardo Colon, 44, Phoenix, AZ

The (pedi)cure for the common date
“I met Claudia through the New York Road Runner’s Club when we were both training for the New York City Marathon. Our feet were in terrible shape from all that running, and we constantly joked about it. I was nervous about asking Claudia out, probably because my divorce was fairly recent. Luckily, she took the lead. One day after a run she mentioned she was going for a pedicure and dared me to get one with her. I took her up on it and we spent our first ‘date’ at one of those drop-in nail salons. After, we walked our pretty toes — hers red, mine buffed — to lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know each other better.”
– Jeff Lai, 46, New York, NY

Writer and editor Chelsea Kaplan’s work has been featured in Men’s Health, New Woman, Bridal Guide, The Mommy Times, and www.thefamilygroove.com.

[via MSN]

Your man’s mood swings

By Elise Nersesian

Trying to figure out the best time to broach a touchy topic, ask your guy a favor or convince him to do something you know he’ll dread? Well, it’s easier than you think if you learn how to tune in to his body clock, says Gabrielle Lichterman, founder of Hormonology.info and co-author of 28 Days: What Your Cycle Reveals About Your Love Life, Moods, and Potential. While women, we all know, experience hormone-induced mood swings on a monthly basis, Lichterman attests that men, too, are affected by hormonal highs and lows—only their levels fluctuate daily. Want to get his hormones working for you? Read on.

If you need his help moving, fighting, or fixing something…
Ask: from 9-12 a.m.

It should come as no surprise that guys wake up bursting with testosterone. And aside from the obvious frisky factor, this surge in hormones makes him ambitious and determined, says Lichterman. This is the perfect time to ask him for a favor, particularly one that makes him feel like Mr. Fix-It. Buying a car? Indulge his competitive streak, and drag him along to help you haggle with the salesman and score a great deal. Or, cash in on his peak in spatial thinking and ask him to move your couch, or measure your closet space. He’ll feel heroic, and you’ll reap the benefits.

If you want to get him to agree to your plans…
Ask: from 3-4 p.m.

Trying to convince him to sign up for ballroom dancing lessons, commit to your new book club or otherwise agree to do something that would normally send men screaming in the opposite direction? Then this late-afternoon window is the perfect opportunity, says Lichterman, since his super-low testosterone levels will make him mellow and amenable to pretty much anything you throw on the table.

If you want to broach a touchy topic…
Ask: from 8-10 p.m.

At this hour, another hormone called oxytocin — a.k.a. the “cuddle hormone” due to its intimacy-inducing effects — is on the rise in his bloodstream, says Lichterman. That means this is a prime time to resolve a lingering spat (“It hurt my feelings when you didn’t call today”) or get a grievance off your chest (“Will you please shave your goatee?”). You’ll probably get met with nothing but a sincere apology and the promise to change his ways. Sure, his sweetness may be as much due to timing as a true desire to please, but hey, who cares as long as your wish is his command?

Elise Nersesian has written for Redbook, Stuff, and other publications.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.

[via MSN]

Are you a good kisser?

By Nicole Kristal

My friend Sean thought his date went well—she laughed at his jokes, ordered dessert, and even asked him up to her apartment for a midnight make-out session. But it’s been over a week and she hasn’t returned his calls. Sean’s starting to wonder why. Little does he know, the answer’s in his kiss. I should know. I made the mistake of kissing him once.

Plenty of people worry about whether they’re good in bed, but few worry about their skills when it comes to their triple-tongue-swirl maneuvers. So people like Sean are often left questioning what went wrong on a date, even though the reason is quite literally under their noses. Sadly, no one wants to tell anyone they have the kiss of death, which means that unless you’ve been praised for your soft lips or tantalizing tongue, someone might be cringing about your not-so-sensual smooches as well. Here’s a cheat sheet of oral offenses, so you can avoid being thought of as a cringe-worthy kisser.

The Vampire Lip-Sucker
When my date Andrew first started biting and sucking on my lower lip, I tried to redirect the kiss by going for his upper lip. But when he kept doing it and my lip began to throb, I pulled away with a not-so subtle, “Ow.” He didn’t take the hint and with each tug, my lip grew rawer. The next day, at a family barbecue, everyone wondered why I had a purple lower lip.

Sure, a soft bite on the lip can be a turn on, but 10 in a row can leave your date looking like she got punched in the mouth. The first sign of a bad kisser is the inability to respond to feedback (sorry, Andrew; it’s true). If you’re not getting a positive response, don’t be afraid to stray from a move that you thought worked on someone else. Bad kissers often make the mistake of hoping you’ll grow to like whatever weird thing they’re doing. This almost never works and almost always leaves your lover bemoaning your inexperience.

The Speed Racer
Another common attribute of a bad kisser is out-of-sync kisses that don’t match the other person’s rhythm. Just as relationships are about finding a happy medium, kissers should try to conform to a mutual speed. The one time I made out with Sean, he threw on a Prodigy album, and then proceeded to kiss me faster than the driving techno beat. When he wouldn’t slow down, I politely grooved my way right out his door.

I have a tongue, too, thank you
Tom was a good-looking, smart guy who played guitar and opened every door for me, but he also had a knack for filling my entire mouth with his imperialistic tongue, which completely crushed mine as it recklessly reached for my tonsils. No matter what I did, I couldn’t remove it, mostly because my own tongue seemed to have disappeared.

Lots of oral offenders’ tongues make the mistake of setting up permanent residence in their dates’ mouths. The tongue should be about playful give and take: Tease, then pull back. If that gets a positive response, venture a little further, but never leave your date thinking, “What the heck happened to my tongue?” or “Red alert: Suffocation setting in!”

Mr. Hoover
Mr. Hoover is the opposite of the previous smoocher—he likes to suck your tongue right out of your mouth and hold onto it. If your date’s entire head is unwillingly following yours because you’re holding her tongue hostage, that’s probably not a good thing. Tongue suction is tricky. Unless you know exactly the amount of suction to exert and the duration to hold your partner’s tongue captive (Hint: it’s not five minutes), you’re treading into Bad Kisser Land.

The Cheek-Licker
Licking or lapping your date’s cheek will leave him or her either (a) grossed out or (b) laughing. Licking people’s faces isn’t hot. (I don’t care if your girlfriend freshman year loved it; she was one in a million, maybe 100 million.) When it comes to kissing, the tongue should make contact with two — and only two — places above the shoulders besides the mouth—the neck and the ear. But if you shoot for these erogenous zones, don’t overdo it. Wet willies and hickeys are for amateurs.

Ladies, you can stink, too
From the above, you may get the impression that I think only guys can be bad smoochers. Not at all! Though men get a bad rap for not caring about kissing, many guys like it and expect some creativity… and are disappointed by what the women they date dish out. “I’ve been with women who are repetitive kissers—they kiss with the same motion over and over again,” complained one male friend. “It’s like you’re on a four-second loop but you can’t break it.”

My male friends’ most important piece of advice—kiss like you mean it. “A heartless kiss makes for bad kissing,” explained another guy friend. It feels like she doesn’t want to be kissing you, he said, “and that’s really annoying.”

So, ladies and gentleman, realize that if your date kisses you once and doesn’t want to continue, it may well be for a reason. And it usually has nothing to do with your SAT scores. Kissing is one of the biggest deal-breakers in early dating, so drop the misguided moves or your dates will drop you. Here’s an added incentive—good kissing can make other faults forgivable. I once went out with a guy who had no car (hey, I live in California; cars matter) and no job, but soft lips and the most amazing kiss. We dated happily for a while… until he goosed me. Oh, well. A good kiss can’t compensate for everything.

Nicole Kristal has written for Newsweek and Premiere, and is a staff writer for Back Stage West newspaper.

Dating & different religions?

By Margot Carmichael Lester

In Amos 3:3, it’s asked “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” We asked a few faithful folks to answer this question for daters who ascribe to different doctrine. Our commenters are:

• Rabbi Lev Baesh, director, Resource Center for Jewish Clergy, www.InterfaithFamily.com
• Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, an interfaith minister
• Alana Klein, director of communications and publications, Marymount Manhattan College; she and her fiancé are of different faiths
• Stephen Miller, Christian expert/writer, ONE: The Digital Dialog
• Pastor Bob Moeller, host, For Better, For Worse, For Keeps
• Dorette Saunders, senior editor, education unit, Nida Institute for Biblical Scholarship at the American Bible Society

And here’s what they said:

Q: When we start dating someone of a different faith, what’s the first thing a person should do?

Sanders: Open up and educate each other as to your faith practices. Does an Episcopalian really know what a Mormon believes? Does a Jew understand Catholic teachings? Can an unbeliever uphold the values of a Christian? In order to coexist harmoniously, couples may either agree not to bring up religion or agree to respectfully disagree. The problem with the latter is that such a response will eventually put a strain on their relationship as it becomes more solidified. Or in other cases, one party compromises to the point where his or her “faith” no longer looks the same. It is for this reason that the Bible, in its wisdom, knowing the stresses of everyday life, cautions that we should not be yoked unequally.

Miller: Listen to each other with an open mind. There are wise teachings and doggone dumb teachings in every major religion. As you talk, it’s OK to disagree. You can count on disagreeing. A lot. But there’s no need to be judgmental. That’s God’s job, not ours.

Q. What if we’re afraid that dating someone outside our faith will diminish it?

Brockway: My philosophy is that love between two people adds a dimension of holiness to our world that cannot be categorized by religion or culture, and that a temple can be created wherever there is love. I believe in soul mates, and I feel that the couples who are meant to be together have the ability to see each other through the eyes of the soul. That allows many feelings about differences to melt away. Or at least allows them to walk together without having to agree on all things spiritual.

Q: And what if friends and family object? How can a couple handle that?

Baesh: “When trapped, be gracious.” I just learned this from a rabbinic colleague. The best way to show that your faith is of value in the world and that you support your partner’s faith is to be the person your faith calls you to be. People will always judge and evaluate from their personal place and sometimes from fear. Often people who object are worried about other things. Listen and ask deeper questions, or sit back and let them vent—and love them. Continue your relationship by answering questions they have and asking questions you have. Invite them to join you in celebrations. It’s the best way to see it’s not as scary as they imagined it to be.

Klein: Have faith in each other. Religion didn’t bring the couple together; other forces did. During difficult times it’s important to remember that special connection you and your partner have, what brought you two together, and why you love each other.

Q. And what if two people find that they just can’t walk together?

Moeller: Say something like this: “I have truly benefited from getting know you. However, because my spiritual beliefs are such a meaningful part of my core identity, as I trust they are to you, and because we differ substantially on those beliefs, I don’t think we should pursue this dating relationship any further. It is because of this mutual genuine respect for each other that we should give each other the freedom to pursue someone who more closely shares our core beliefs. Thank you for the opportunity to meet you and be enriched by your life. But we have different destinations in mind, and we need to give each other the space to pursue those spiritual goals with all that we are.”

Baesh: [Early on,] know where faith fits in your life and rate it on its relative importance to other aspects of life, so that when entering the dating world you know where you are coming from. Learn about other faith traditions when you find they are important to the other person. But if it’s a deal-breaker, don’t head down a path that will bring about regret when the relationship will have to be severed after years of trying to make it work.

Freelance writer Margot Carmichael Lester also writes the Ask Margot advice column. Send your faith-based dating queries to her at AskMargot@match.com.

[via MSN]

The crazy way we met!

By Christine M. Coppa

Most of us have those strange almost-met-someone moments: Stuck in rush-hour traffic, you make eyes in the rearview mirror at the cutie behind you… or walking your sister’s dog while she’s out of town, you find the pup, well, strongly drawn to a poodle whose owner is adorable… Often, these incidents don’t lead anywhere, but for some of our lucky readers, they were the start of something very, very good. Read their inspiring stories, and be open to meeting your next honey in a most unusual way.

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We met at a party we weren’t invited to!
“My best friend’s brother was having a gala graduation party. She invited me last minute to keep her company, like the day of—seriously. My guy was also invited the night before—also a last-minute attendee. He met my friend’s brother out at a bar. And her brother, after a couple beers, boasted: ‘Come to my party tomorrow night, open bar!’ This wasn’t the type of party you just show up to. It was white-glove service and the invitations were printed, like wedding invites! There was a champagne fountain and a dessert show in the middle of the dance floor. When I got there, I didn’t even have a seat card. I saw an empty seat at my now-husband’s table and asked if I could sit there. He said, yes… four years later, I said ‘I do!’”
—Liss Gallotta, 25, Riverdale, NJ

He replied to my profile…which I didn’t post
“I was dating someone my friends hated. You know the story: ‘He’s not good enough for you, you’re too kind-hearted for such a jerk!’ So without telling me, they put me on MSN Dating & Personals to prove a point—that there was someone better out there for me. They totally went behind my back—I mean, I was in a relationship! All the incoming emails responding to my profile showed up as spam (which I immediately deleted). Somehow, one email got through, from a guy named Rich. For some reason, his email fascinated me and I agreed to meet him for a casual cup of coffee. That day, everything just clicked—we knew from day one, we were meant to be together—forever. We talked and laughed and I think by the end of the date we were finishing each other’s sentences. We've even talked seriously about eloping! I guess my friends were right—my ex wasn’t good enough for me!”
—Sara Govatos, 26, Weehawken, NJ

We were trapped on the subway together
“Last year, around 8:30 a.m., I got on the subway as usual. I had my non-fat latte and new issue of Vogue in tow and was looking forward to a thirty-minute commute uptown. The train approached the first stop, but came to a halt underground between stops. I sat there calmly for 5 minutes, but as it approached 9 a.m., I began to worry. The conductor came on the loudspeaker and said there was a small fire at the next stop, and our train was being detained. That’s when Tony, a handsome guy in a suit across from me, let out a sigh of disgust. I responded, ‘At least it’s Friday!’ He smiled, and we started chatting. The train finally continued on, but before we parted ways he asked for my number. We had dinner at a brick-oven pizza place that evening and things took off from there!”
—Gianna Catrone, 30, New York City

I was being set up with his friend
“My friend Joanne was dying to set me up with her pal John’s friend. Joanne has good taste, so I let her play matchmaker. I didn’t know anything about the friend but I had heard John’s name enough in the past to feel comfortable. John told Joanne that he had a friend for me—he said, ‘He’s smart, funny, good looking…’ I trusted his taste so I gave Joanne my number to give to John to give to his friend. When John called to sell his friend to me, we ended up on the phone for hours. We ended our conversation with the agreement that I’d go on a blind date with his friend the next night. But, when my doorbell rang the next night, I was surprised to see John there with flowers! He said that ‘I was just too good to giveaway to some other guy.’ And I have to admit I was glad he did take that initiative!”
—Kristina Katsoulas, 28, Long Island, NY

We met at a wake
My boss’s mother passed away, and I attended the service. I didn’t really know anyone there, except for a couple of the guys in I.T. I felt funny signing the condolence book but figured I ought to. The woman ahead of me turned and handed me the pen. She said: ‘I hate signing in to these kinds of things… I don’t know what to say about my ex’s great aunt.’ I smiled and said, ‘I don’t know what to say either—my boss’s mom.’ Later, after talking with my boss, I saw that woman again, off in the corner alone. I said something really corny like, ‘Come here often?’ and we both stifled a laugh. We ended talking amongst lily plants. We’re still together and we joke that our first date was a funeral—can’t get worse than that!”
—Peter Smithers, 34, Pittsburgh, PA

Christine M. Coppa is a New York City-based freelance writer.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.

Liar, Liar - What Not To Do On A Date!

By Steve Kanooka

Just like the film wouldn't it be great if every internet dater was cast with a spell that meant they could not lie. For the most the online vibe is a scary place but we are driven there on the search to fulfil the most basic human desire either love or sex. Most people are very wary and rightly so. With very little information people meet random strangers, with advice from dating sites like... "make sure you tell a friend you're going on the date, and make sure you meet in a public place, day time if possible". Good advise yes of course, but is it enough?

You could have blown me down with a feather

Dan came out a divorce six months earlier. "I was an internet dater and yes I'm a real person, what the hell I thought I'd give it a try. Was I just after sex or a relationship I didn't know it was too soon to tell. Being a man I was less scared about my safety when meeting women but I could see it from their point of view. Online was cold scary place a bit like tesco's online but for people.
What's fun about that? I was still driven to meet that special one... maybe!

The process of going on a date meant that one party had to give a phone number am I comfortable? No certainly not! But what else could we do, a conversation tells a lot about someone and could be a deal breaker if the chemistry was not there.

One date was going well after a few cocktails in a trendy London hotel bar, I noticed my date, attractive tall and slim just staring at me. It was an odd stare I felt uneasy. She had told me she wanted a committed relationship on our recent phone chats. She slowly stood up, held out her hand and smiled. Confused I took her hand and she walked me over to the hotel reception and asked for a room! I was so shocked... Then she asked the receptionist if they sold condoms you could have blown me down with a feather.

Was this the girl of my dreams no, the moment most men dream of or is it? I felt her intentions were less than honest! I left!

He had a secret!

Samantha, 26, and looking for her knight in shining armour. I really warmed to this one man we chatted both on email and phoned for a few weeks before I had the courage to meet him in person. On the way to the date he called me from his mobile he said he was sorry but he was running late and when I arrived at the bar would I mind calling him back. I was already a bag of nerves and this made me even worse why would he want this? In my less that normal state I agreed. I arrived at the bar saw he was not there and sank a large vodka fast. I then called him.

"Hi I'm here, where are you" I asked "I'm not far away, thanks for calling back" he then paused... "I just wondered" he paused "does the bar have a ramp?" I stayed silent mainly through shock. He nervously filled the silence "It's just that I'm in a wheel chair" Critical information he did not share in all those weeks.

I wanted to be angry, I was angry but how could I be angry with a disabled man. We had the date which was awkward and needless to say we did not meet again he kept the truth from me. With other dates it became a joke "before we meet you're not in a wheel chair are you? It just made me more wary.

To ugly to date!

Mary, 34, met a man who looked nothing like his photo. The main reason was his photo was of his good looking mate. He felt that if he put up his own photo he would not get dates. What on earth did he think women's reaction would be?

Internet sites get the message!

So what's the solution... Many dating sites today are aware of these kind of issues and have included video chat to over come these type of problems. Sites have also included games that help to break the ice and virtual cities to walk around and meet new people. These sites offer a more fun and safer element to the online dating scene.

The stories are true the peoples names have been changed.If you have a dating story you would like to share send it to support@kanooka.com

Research from http://www.kanooka.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Kanooka

‘My boyfriend has no ambition’

Dr. Gail Saltz advises a girl on what to do about her unmotivated partner
By Gail Saltz
TODAYShow.com contributor

Q. I love my boyfriend and have never been happier, but he has no ambition. While it's not a problem now because we are young and I am still in college, I am afraid it will be one day down the line. He has absolutely no dreams other than to live life. But he has so much talent and he takes brilliant pictures. If he had the motivation to apply himself, he could be a great photographer.

I feel this is a problem because I have big dreams and when I am done with school, I am going for them. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man and I do not want him to settle for anything less than his best or my best, for that matter. How do I help him believe in himself and make him see that there is more to life?

A. You might not be able to.

It’s not clear what elements go into making a person driven or ambitious, but obviously this personality characteristic comprises many factors. Some people are born with a more intense, assertive, demonstrative temperament than others. There is also a psychological component to this, which you note when you ask how you can make him believe in himself. Some people are truly conflicted about succeeding and therefore avoid it.

Your assumption is that he doesn’t believe in himself and therefore he doesn’t try. That’s possible. Some people are so lacking in confidence that they don’t try because they believe they will fail.

Others merely lack intensity. They may not feel the need to be exceptionally successful, and truly find pleasure in the moment rather than striving toward the future.

It’s not that somebody who lacks drive and ambition is bad or flawed, but such a person has a different personality than you do. If this is truly a pervasive part of your boyfriend’s nature — if he never feels that any work effort is worthwhile — that can be a problem for a couple. The same goes for any big difference in a significant domain in life, such as future goals.

It sounds like you want your boyfriend to change but he is content with how he is. Pointing out how he could change, and the advantages of doing so, either will or won’t move him to action.

But if you have been trying to change him and it isn’t working, I suspect he is just a laid-back kind of guy. It may simply not be in his temperament to be competitive. If this is the case, marriage to this man will make for a lot of frustration.

If you could truly be happy to take the lead and be the breadwinner, that would be fine. In fact, some people want to be the star of their relationship and don’t do well with a competitive spouse. But if it is important to you to be part of a power team and you need a husband who shares your passion for goals and success, then this kind of difference can truly erode your future: He might get tired of hearing that you don’t like the way he is. You might end up feeling contempt and disdain for his lack of ambition. You might feel ashamed of him in the presence of your friends and colleagues.

If you have children, these issues come to bear in your parenting style. Some parents push their kids to achieve; others take a hands-off approach. This is yet another realm where you might butt heads.

So if you can’t change your man’s behavior and you can’t change your own attitude, you should take a pause and examine whether this relationship can work well for the long term. This isn’t a small, easily-ignored issue.

Look inside yourself to see if this will be an ongoing source of disappointment and frustration for you, and if you will always wish to turn your man into something he is not. It might be worth exploring this issue with a couples counselor, who could shed further insight with an objective third-party view.

Dr. Gail’s Bottom Line: A fundamental difference in life approaches can erode a relationship if one partner doesn’t take action.

Dr. Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor to TODAY. Her latest book is “Anatomy of a Secret Life: The Psychology of Living a Lie.” She is also the author of “Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts,” which helps parents deal with preschoolers’ questions about sex and reproduction. Her first book, “Becoming Real: Overcoming the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back,” was published in 2004 by Riverhead Books. It is now available in a paperback version. For more information, you can visit her Web site, www.drgailsaltz.com.

Mistakes You Must Avoid If You Want Your Boyfriend Back

By Gillian Reynolds

Meeting a man you believe to be the "one" can completely change a woman's life. Everything in her world will seem ideal and in its place. If that same man then suddenly decides that the relationship isn't what he wants, it can feel as though the earth is falling into pieces. Sometimes in relationships both people don't feel the same things at exactly the same time. One may feel they need space or the chance to date others, and if a woman is thrown into a situation where her boyfriend feels those things, it can be heart wrenching. If you are convinced your ex is the man you are destined to be with, you need to be aware of the mistakes you must avoid if you want your boyfriend back.

One common and very easy mistake to make when you are trying to win back the affection of your ex boyfriend is to talk to his friends or family about the situation. If you are close with his friends or his parents or siblings you may think that speaking with them will help smooth the way for a reunion between the two of you. This is highly unlikely. If you want your boyfriend back you must not include anyone else in your problems. He'll resent you for doing it and it may also damage the relationship he has with his family or friends. Keep the relationship issues solely between the two of you.

If you want your boyfriend back you must also avoid crying in front of him. You may think that he'll feel sorry for you if he sees you weeping about the break-up. He won't. Men don't want to feel obligated to be in any relationship out of a sense of guilt. If you whine, beg, or pout in an effort to rekindle the romance, he'll turn the other cheek. He may also stop all contact with you because your behavior makes him uncomfortable.

Ex boyfriends sometimes decide to hop right back into the dating world. If you have visions of getting back together with him, seeing him with another woman is going to feel awful. Even hearing about his dating adventures from a mutual friend will be very difficult. You must keep yourself composed though if you want your boyfriend back. The best reaction from you would be to wish him well, and to do it with a smile on your face. He won't be expecting it and that's exactly what you want. You want him to wonder what you are thinking.

When the moment arrives that he asks to talk things out be careful how you handle this. You shouldn't take a defensive tone if you really want to get back together with him. Listen to everything he says and respect his feelings. If he asks how you feel about things, be honest without being hurtful or too overly dramatic. Keep your cool and he'll respect you even more.

The way you present yourself to your ex following the break up will play a big part in whether you'll eventually reunite as a couple. Once you understand how to approach him and what you should and shouldn't be saying, you'll stand a much better chance of recapturing his attention. For more suggestions that will help you get him back, visit this helpful site!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gillian_Reynolds

Dating Again After A Partner Dies

By Elaine Williams

When a relationship ends due to one partner dying, what is the correct time period to begin dating again? Grief is such a funny, unpredictable animal. Many people in years' past think a year is a suitable time to wait before incorporating life changes, and yet for many of us, a year into our loss - we're barely getting started on our grief journey. My experience has been that people and perhaps society as a whole, do not allow enough time or thought to the actual grief process. There is no quick fix or "getting over it" and moving on. We all move through grief in our own ways and means. There is nothing by formula that we can follow or hope to happen.
Talking with others who have experienced a similar loss is definitely a plus.

Some days the road is more difficult than others days. At times, you feel enveloped in a mist of uncertainty. Even small decisions can sometimes stretch past your point of coping.

Personal decisions are just that, personal. What is suitable for anyone must be decided individually. Sometimes you have to let go of preconceived notions of the correct way to act and grieve.

I began dating too early, about a year after my husband passed away. I was incredibly lonely and in a real oxymoron, I was determined to be happy again, at any cost to myself. So, I started dating through online sites and I kept attracting the wrong type of man. Takers, emotionally unavailable, surface daters, serial daters, men who mirrored my own uncertainty about my readiness to date again.

None of these connections turned out to be anything substantial. In a fog of grief, I yearned to find someone to love, and yet I knew these men were wrong for me. They were just a short ride on a ferry to nowhere special. It was brought home to me gradually, through my dating experiences, that I had to value myself more than what I was doing. I couldn't settle with a partner just to have someone in my life. I deserved more. My dates deserved more than someone still traveling through grief.

In those early days, I was as unavailable as the men I dated. If I had realized this, perhaps I would have run fast in the opposite direction, but in two instances I hung on to a flagging relationship, hoping things would change. Of course they did not.

Gradually, I came to realize that I had to stop setting myself up for disappointment in relationships. How could I attract the right partner, unless I was equally ready for a commitment?

I made the decision to bring my standards up to a new level and part of this process involved not dating for over a year. Only then did I start meeting the quality of man that my higher consciousness demanded. I was no longer wasting my time, or theirs, in surface dating, where both of us knows after one date there is no chemistry or real interest.

We all deserve better for ourselves than settling in a relationship just to alleviate the loneliness. It is difficult being alone when you are used to so much more, but I have chosen to remain so until the right partner comes along. It's a personal decision and for me, there is no other choice.
Elaine Williams ©2008

Elaine Williams is a writer across various genres. She is a mother and a widow of four years. She can be contacted at onwingspress@yahoo.com http://www.ajourneywelltaken.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elaine_Williams

12 Resolutions for a Great Sex Life

We show you how to get in touch with your sexier (and happier!) self so you can have passionate sex every day of the year.
By Michele Bender

As far as New Year's resolutions go, "Get a better sex life" probably falls way down on the list, after "Lose weight," "Exercise more" and "Eat leafy greens." But the truth is, sex is healthy, too — for you and for your marriage. (Plus, working on it is a lot more enjoyable than counting calories.) So this January, take charge of your sex life by following these fun resolutions — we guarantee they'll lead to exciting and satisfying trysts and take your sex life to a whole new level.

Resolution #1: Vow to focus on what you like in bed.
"The number one key to greater pleasure is knowing what turns you on," says Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author of Sex Talk. You probably have some ideas already, but if you — and your husband — are relying on the same old techniques, it's time to find out what else hits your hot buttons. Experiment when you're alone: Think about what has aroused you in the past or about the things you wish your husband would do when the two of you are under the covers. Do you hear yourself thinking, "I wish he'd touch my neck or breasts?" If so, fill him in the next time you are getting snuggly. "Knowing what revs you up in bed is a gift you can give yourself — and him," says Zoldbrod.

Resolution #2: Commit to staying in touch with your sensual side.
You may barely remember those early days in your romance when you actually spent time picking out your bedwear, but chances are your dresser was filled with things a heck of a lot sexier than ratty T-shirts and flannel PJs. "Women need more preparation for lovemaking than men do, and part of that is making yourself feel beautiful," says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist and author of The Idiot's Guide to Oral Sex. "You're more likely to be interested in sex and initiate it if you're wearing something sexy." So hit the lingerie store — and while you're at it, pick up some perfumed body oil, silk sheets or a few scented candles. (Go for licorice or cucumber scents; research shows both increase arousal in women.) "Keeping all your senses stimulated all the time makes you more willing and able to really experience the complete pleasure of sex," says Cadell.


Resolution #3: Remind yourself to reach out and touch him — every day.
We know, sometimes a week goes by when physical contact with your husband amounts to squeezing past him to get to the bathroom sink. Considering that it's harder for women to jump into sex without day-to-day touching, this can put a real damper on intimacy. So make a point to rub his shoulders, hold hands while watching TV or simply give him a hug when you get home. A recent University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill study found that frequent hugging boosts a woman's level of oxytocin, a hormone that makes you feel closer to your mate. Kissing on the lips at least once a day is another good way to keep the passion simmering. Once you start reaching out more, you and your hubby will feel more loved and connected, and, trust us, sparks will fly.

Resolution #4: Stop mentally drafting your to-do list during sex.
Juggling work, family and friends leaves you with a lot to think about — sometimes even when you're making love. "This is a big problem for women. They are more easily distracted from sex than men," says Zoldbrod. And unlike men, women's arousal levels tend to fluctuate and can drop quickly. That means if you're turned on and start thinking about the dry cleaning you forgot, it can ruin the moment, just like that. To keep yourself from drifting off during sex, banish distractions. Once a week, jot down your to-do list and discuss any concerns you have about your family, work or other issues with your husband — before you slip between the sheets. Then when it's time for sex, you can really focus and enjoy it.

Resolution #5: Get yourself some (or some more!) grown-up toys.
Experts say that variety, novelty and fun are all keys to keeping sex hot. A good sex toy provides all of the above and can help you and your husband live out your sexual fantasies. There's a wide range of products to choose from, so start with what you're comfortable with. For beginners, vibrators that don't look phallic, such as the Pocket Rocket, tend to be less intimidating. If you already own the basics and are ready for more advanced toys, try a vibrator that stimulates both your clitoris and your G-spot. Or get something that's made for both of you, such as the Jelly Tool Belt — a dual penis ring that has a vibrator in it to stimulate you. If you're not sure how to bring up the idea of experimenting, here are two ways: (1) Surprise your husband with some edible massage lotion (the Pure Romance line is a good choice) to spur a conversation — say, "Do you like this? Does it feel good?" (2) Make shopping a task you do together at a store, with a catalog or online. Some good, discreet Websites are Adameve.com, Mypleasure.com and Babeland.com.

Resolution #6: Vow to speak up if something is not working for you.
We've all been there: You let your guy do something he thinks is an incredible turn-on, and all the while you're lying there wondering when he'll be finished. Women often do this — or even fake pleasure — because they're either too embarrassed to speak up or afraid to criticize their partner. But if he keeps doing the wrong thing, you'll be left dissatisfied again and again. Next time, clue him in — gently. Cadell advises that instead of saying, "You never do X" or "I don't like it when you do Y" — which come off as negative — try, "I like it when you gently massage my breasts instead of squeezing them." This way he won't feel rejected, and you'll get the caressing you crave.

Resolution #7: And also commit yourself to speaking up if something is working for you.
If the sex is good, why bother talking about it, right? Wrong. Sex experts agree that telling your husband how much you love what he does perfectly in bed is as important as telling him what isn't working. So moan when he zeroes in on a pleasure zone and compliment him later on, too. But be sure to provide details. For instance, say, "It felt amazing when you kissed my stomach and thighs." He'll be so happy to know he had the magic touch that he'll be excited to do a repeat performance. If that's not the recipe for a great sex life, we don't know what is!

Resolution #8: Keep the kids from spending every night in bed with you.
It's understandable why you want to bring your young children to bed — it's often the only way you all can get some sleep. But the math is simple: Two parents plus one child in bed equals zero sex. Try this instead: Enforce a "no kids in bed" rule (unless, say, they're sick) and ask your husband to take turns with you getting up when your child starts crying in the middle of the night. This way, you two can do more than just sleep.

Resolution #9: Decide it's okay to let Dora and the Wiggles do the babysitting.
No one is suggesting you plant the tots in front of the tube for hours on end. But the truth is, there are times — say, Sunday mornings — when popping in the kids' favorite DVD is the only way to get some lovin'. And, trust us, a little extra TV time isn't going to hurt your child as much as some much-needed couple-time is going to help your relationship.

Resolution #10: Have sex (sometimes) when you're not in the mood.
Like most women, you probably have nights when sex is the last thing on your mind, and you'd give anything to sprawl out and get eight hours of shut-eye. But then your husband gives the signal that he's ready for some nooky. What to do? Well, going along with the idea can actually be a titillating surprise for you. "If he knows how to push your buttons, then having sex when your husband is ready and you're not means it's very likely you'll get aroused once you get going," says Zoldbrod. It can also give you and your husband a boost outside of the bedroom. A recent study by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that sex plays a major role in a person's happiness. Don't think of it as giving in to him, think of it as giving in to pleasure.

Resolution #11: Use the birth control that's right for you. Trying to get pregnant? Then spontaneous sex isn't a problem. But if you're not planning to expand your family this month, getting comfortable with your birth control is key to letting loose during sex. "I've seen this make a huge difference in the sex lives of so many women," says Zoldbrod. Diaphragms and condoms are fine, but spur-of-the-moment sex is tricky when you have to fumble around in the dark for them at a pivotal moment. Other options, such as the Pill or a patch, can give you more freedom whenever you and your husband are raring to go. Talk to your doctor about the most effective — and carefree — method for you.

Resolution #12: Break out of your routine. Every couple has a tried-and-true method for getting in the mood. But let's be honest — the same old thing can get a bit boring. So mix things up. Even small tweaks can increase the passion in your marriage. Have sex in a different room of the house, make out in the car, take a bath together, spend more than five minutes on foreplay or "exchange three wishes that you want in bed," suggests Cadell. "That way you're playing a game — and a give-give scenario is always a success."

Another tactic: Do things that you and your husband did together in the days before you had children. Shared experiences — such as dancing, going to the gym together or taking a romantic stroll — help you two connect emotionally and see each other as more than simply Mom and Dad. "You're reminded of those butterflies-in-your-stomach early days," says Zoldbrod. "Then you hold hands and, chances are, you come home to have some great sex."

5 signs your date is lying…

By Chelsea Kaplan

It’s 8:30 p.m., and your date is seriously late for your dinner date. When he finally arrives, he offers you a convoluted explanation of his whereabouts, during which he refuses to look you in the eyes and keeps rubbing his nose. Suspicious that he’s not being completely honest? You should be, says Greg Hartley, author of How to Spot a Liar: Why People Don’t Tell the Truth... and How You Can Catch Them. For hints on how you can discern the truth, consider the following signs as explained by Hartley, a decorated military interrogator who observes these signals to assess the honesty of enemy combatants. Remember, all’s fair in the game of war—and love.

5 signs your date’s hiding something…

1. This person raises his or her eyebrows
You suspect something’s up, and you’ve called her on it. She offers an explanation, ending with that, “You do believe me, don’t you?” look, with eyebrows raised. Hartley says this key body language piece indicates that your date is not being fully honest. He asks,“You know that phrase ‘lying eyes’? A lot of times, it’s more in the lying eyebrows, especially with women, so pay attention to them when she’s speaking to you.”

2. The pace of your date’s answers varies
Though your date may be offering flawless answers to your questions, what may actually give him away is the rate at which he delivers those answers. “Pay attention to inordinate time differences in his answering style,” Hartley suggests. If he rushes to answer when he usually pauses or pauses when he normally rushes, that’s a hint that something is up.”

3. Your date compliments you at an inappropriate time
Hartley says that a man often compliments a woman when he's trying to pull a fast one on her. “If in the middle of his explanation of his whereabouts, he comments on your dress or asks if you just got a haircut, be suspicious,” he says. “Guys who do so are trying to distract you and divert your attention away from their half-truths or other deceptions. Don’t fall for it.”

4. Your date plays with her hair
When a woman is being deceptive, her behavior will actually be quite similar to when she’s seducing you, explains Hartley. “When you think about it, the two actions are somewhat linked, even though they have different motivations behind them,” he says. Therefore, if you’re trying to assess your female date’s honesty, look for a sure sign of seduction: playing with her hair, a historic symbol of sexuality and attraction.

5. Your date wrings his hands
“If a guy is wringing his hands when he’s speaking to you, he may be lying,” Hartley notes. Why is this an indicator of dishonesty? Hand-wringing not only signals stress, an indicator of deception, but his putting his hands in between his body and yours creates a barrier, and a guy creating this kind of barrier is usually hiding something, explains Hartley.

...and 3 signs that your date is being completely truthful

1. Your date is calm, cool and collected
First, let’s assume your date hasn’t been exercising or rushing to meet you, nor is he or she one of those people who just naturally perspire a lot. OK, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, if your date breaks into a sweat while speaking to you, it could be a sign of stress—the stress of lying. “While dates — especially first dates — are generally stressful situations, if you’ve been together a while, there should be no reason your date should feel much stress and be sweating,” says Hartley, “unless, of course, there’s something that is giving him or her reason to be stressed and sweating.” Like the fact that this person just told you a whopper…

2. He sticks to just the facts, ma’am
Perhaps one of the most common indicators of a lie is a too-detailed explanation. “This is one of the easiest ones to spot, but strangely, one deception that women often fall for,” Hartley notes. Don’t be fooled by his incredible attention to detail or his ability to recount every step he’s taken, he cautions. “A guy who offers you a detailed explanation is almost always lying; in general, guys just don’t recall details—that’s more women’s territory,” he says. “If his story or alibi about where he was or why he was late is ‘too good,’ there’s probably a reason why: He crafted it himself.” If he gives you a simple, short, reasonable explanation, chances are he’s telling you the truth and sees no need to embellish it, Hartley says.

3. She keeps her head up straight
If your date is fibbing, she may look you in the eye, but she’ll almost always cock or tilt her head to one side, Hartley says. “This flirty behavior is both a sign of seduction and lying,” he notes. “With this body language, she’s probably trying to reel you in sexually so as to distract you from her lies,” he says. A woman who’s telling the truth, however, will look at you head-on, he says, with her neck and head as straight as an arrow. Now that you know these clues, look for them to make sure you’re hanging out with the kind of honest person who is worthy of you and your time!

Chelsea Kaplan’s blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at www.chelseakaplan.com.

How To Find A Single Man - Every Woman's Guide

By Felicity Henderson

It seems that there are heaps of single men around, yet a 'gorgeous' woman like you can never find a good one! This is a cry that is often heard amongst single women, who are fed up with their lack of success in the dating game. The good news is that working out how to find a single man may not be as difficult as you think. It is simply of matter of being in the right place, having the right attitude and sending out the right signals.

So what is meant by being in the right place? Well, firstly you need to get out there! Staying at home all day and night will not get you a guy and, unless you are Angelina Jolie, or someone like that, men are not going to be turning up at your door step 24/7. You need to get out and go to places where people are interacting. Whilst parties and bars are good for this, so too are coffee shops, supermarkets and even laundromats! Let's face it, you can spend a lot of time in a laundromat and you need to talk to somebody - right?

If you are a little on the shy side, then why not try online dating. This has become a very popular way for people to meet, in recent times, and I am sure that most of us have either heard, or read, many successful stories about couples coming together over the internet. The range of single men, available, is much broader online as well.

If you are in a position to do some traveling, you could try going interstate to find your perfect man. California, New York and Colorado are just some of the best known places for single guys to hang out.

The right attitude simply means trying to meet some, but not all, of the criteria that men find attractive in women. And what men find attractive in women most are confidence and that they look presentable. Despite the popular assumption that men prefer women to be beautiful and 'ditzy', most men are really more attracted to women, who are confident in themselves, women who know what they want and are not afraid to ask.

The right body language can also play a huge role in your interactions with a single man. If you cross your arms, play with your clothes or not look at him directly then he will probably get the idea that you are not really interested in him. On the other hand, good eye contact, frequent smiling and leaning forward in conversation are the right signals if you are keen on pursuing a relationship.

Eventually, how to find a single man will become as easy as pie, once you get all these 'right' things down pat. Then you can go off into the dating scene, with confidence, and men will be drawn to you like moths to a flame!

By the way, you can discover some of the best secrets about how to find a single man and keep him by visiting http://How-To-Find-A-Single-Man.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Felicity_Henderson

Flirting Tips For Women

By Peta Fletcher

Many women think that flirting is complicated, and are quite intimidated at the thought of doing it.

This can be true for some flirting techniques, but most women don't realize how simple some flirting techniques can actually be.

For example, did you know that a warm smile, and regular eye contact, is one of the easiest and most effective ways to flirt?

It seems simple, but it can be devastatingly effective!

Now, you have to get this right- Your smile has to seem warm and friendly, or it wont work. And you can't stare too much, otherwise you may actually intimidate the man (Guys get nervous as well, but they often wont admit it!).

Try to maintain eye contact for a few seconds, and then look somewhere else on the face for a few more seconds. Then look back at the eyes again, all the time smiling naturally.

Some women feel nervous maintaining eye contact, but I'll let you in on a little secret that can make this much less intimidating...

Just look at the persons nose instead!

Unless you are really close the person, looking at the nose appears the same as looking at the eyes. But if you are shy or nervous, it's much easier to look at the nose instead! You'll appear more confident, seem more attractive to others, and no one will even know you're not actually looking them in the eye!

Really, the power of smiling can not be understated.

Just think about it for a second... who wants to be around someone who looks grumpy, grouchy, and bored with life?

No one!

But everyone likes people who are happy and cheerful!

Smiling actually has another benefit that I haven't mentioned yet... and this one can be quite surprising.

Most people assume that smiling is based on cause and effect.

eg: You are happy, and therefore you smile.

But studies have actually shown that it works both ways.

eg: You smile, and it makes you happy!

That's pretty weird isn't it?

But next time your feeling a little sad, try making a big cheesy grin for 5 minutes, and I'll bet it cheers you up!

Anyway, what's this got to do with flirting?

Simple... an important part of flirting is to relax. Relaxing shows you are confident and calm, which is much more appealing than someone who looks shy and nervous.

And the good thing with smiling, is that if you smile and start enjoying yourself, you can't help but relax!

Another good way to relax before trying to use your body language to attract men is to stand tall, put your shoulders back, and take a deep breath.

This helps you to calm down, but also has another effect. Standing tall with your shoulders back dramatically improves your posture. You'll seem sexier, more confident, and more fun... in just a matter of seconds!

I know it may seem simple, but these flirting techniques are very potent, and are great for beginners to get started with.

To summarize, when starting with flirting, you should:

• Stand tall, with your shoulders back
• Take a deep breath
• Smile (The most effective flirting technique ever invented)
• And maintain eye contact.

Guaranteed to have a hypnotic effect on any man!

One thing people often ask me is "what should I do with my hands while flirting"?

Well, start by leaving your hands open, with palms facing upward.

This is a sign of honesty, and invites trust.

A very alluring flirting technique is to use your hands to flick, touch, or play with your hair. I'm not sure why this works, but it has an incredibly magnetic effect on men!

You really need to try this!

Just smile, and play with your hair, whilst looking a man in the eye.

It really couldn't be simpler, but you'll find this technique works like magic, and will attract the interest of almost ANY man.

Another simple flirting technique is to flutter your eyelashes. You have to be careful with this one though. If you do it too much, you'll just seem strange, or look like you have something in your eye! Try practicing it alone in front of a mirror, and only try it when you think you've got it looking natural.

Now all the above flirting tips are about attracting men in a safe, non sexual way. Some women may want to be more direct in their approach though, and for them I include this final tip.

This last flirting technique is overtly sexual in nature. It says to a man that your interested in sex, without actually saying it.

It's simply to stroke something slowly. You can do this with your hair, a part of your body, or with objects around you at the time, such as glasses, a pencil etc.

If you do this while coyly smiling at a man, and maintain eye contact, he will instantly only have one thing on his mind!

Be very careful with this technique though- only use it if you know what you are doing! You really don't want to be sending out these signals unless you are really sure about what you want! Don't do this to a man you aren't sure about, or if you don't feel totally safe.

There are situations where you can use this last technique safely though. It will work great on partners, husbands etc, and is sure to lead to a good time!

As you can see- flirting doesn't need to be complex. There are other more advanced techniques that I haven't mentioned, but the old saying is true... the simplest things in life are often the best, and it's certainly true with flirting... The simplest flirting techniques in life are the most effective.

Peta Fletcher is an expert on body language. She has written a book- "The Secret Body Language Guide For Women", which reveals everything any woman needs to know about body language.

You can find out more at: http://www.easybodylanguage.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peta_Fletcher

Your 5-minute guide to love and money

It's hard enough managing money alone. Throw in another person and financial sparks will fly -- but these 24 tips can help.
By MSN Money staff

Thinking of marriage? Prepare to bare your financial soul. Experts agree that couples need to talk about money -- the sooner, the better.

Before you get to 'I do'
Consider a prenuptial agreement. It's not just a document detailing how to split the assets after a divorce. It can absolve you of your spouse's debts, maintain assets for children from a previous marriage, keep a family business intact and ensure that the family home stays in the family. (See "Do you need a prenup?")

• Bring up the idea of a prenup as soon as the relationship gets serious. It can help clarify each other's circumstances and goals.
• Allow at least three months before the wedding to work out the details. A valid prenup involves lawyers and full financial disclosure. (See "The prenup problem.")
• Most prenups provide that whatever property or debts you bring to the marriage will remain yours if the marriage dissolves. They also protect what you don't have yet, including property you expect to inherit.
• No state will allow you to waive child support, dictate child custody or otherwise impinge on the rights of your children.

Getting through 'I do'
With the average cost of an American wedding nearing $30,000, there's a lot to talk about. Even if your parents are paying part of the cost, you might have to let go of some dreams, including the one calling for a perfect wedding. (See "Your fantasy wedding for less cash.")

• Lay down a budget and stick to it. Write it down so there's no question.
• Pay for your priorities. Decide what's most important to you and do everything else on the cheap.
• Take half-measures. Rather than a full reception, have a desserts-only affair. Instead of a full bar, offer beer and wine.
• Do your friends and family a favor and register for gifts in multiple price ranges. Today's bridal registries include outdoor gear, jewelry, wine and home-office supplies. (See "13 thoughtful, offbeat wedding gift ideas.")
• Get married in spring or fall and enjoy the lower off-season rates. Not only will venues be less expensive, but you'll score off-season travel rates for your honeymoon.
• Don't let the honeymoon break your budget, either. Sign up with a honeymoon registry that lets guests buy portions of your honeymoon in increments. Consider a honeymoon close to home or bid on a trip in an online travel auction.

Weddings can be costly even if you're not the bride or groom. For members of the wedding party and guests, there are ways to stay within your budget.

• Give what you can afford, based on your relationship with the couple.
• For bridesmaids, the dresses alone can be a nightmare. Ask if you can rent the dress or use one you already own. (See "The bridesmaid's survival guide.")
• Creativity and thoughtfulness ultimately go further than cash. The key is to personalize the gift. (See "6 ways to cut costs on wedding gifts.")

The honeymoon's over
Money and the expectations we bring with it become sources of friction for many couples. Even if you've married your financial opposite (and many of us do), you need to find a way to financially coexist. (See "Why we fight over money.")

If you didn't have the money talk before the wedding, have it now. Get down to details when you discuss your lifestyle and your goals. (See "5 steps to wedded wallets.")

• Ask your mate about his or her financial upbringing -- and be willing to explore your own.
• Pick a good time to talk about money -- not at meals, right before bedtime or when inebriating substances are flowing.

Once you're on the same financial wavelength, figure out where your money goes. Then set some goals, such as saving for retirement, paying off debt, preparing for children or buying a house. (See "Should newlyweds buy a house?")

• Set up a budget. Even if you had one when you were single, you need a new one that includes both incomes, debts and bills. (See "Budget your way to smarter spending.")
• Decide whether to use joint or separate accounts or consider having "yours," "mine" and "ours" accounts. Experts agree that if a couple can't share their money in a checking account, it's probably a signal that something's wrong in the relationship. (See "Love, honor and a shared bank account.")
• If one of you brought debt into the marriage, it becomes a problem for both of you. Work together to figure out a plan to pay it off. But don't officially commingle your debt; keep existing credit card and loan accounts in the original holder's name. (See "Take control of your debt.")
• Update your paperwork, including wills, 401(k) beneficiaries, life insurance policies and the withholding amount on your income taxes. (See "Marriage means updating vital papers.")
• Assess your emergency fund. Every couple should have enough money to cover three to six months worth of living expenses.

Happily ever after?
Once you're cruising along on a shared plan, you'll need to pay attention to keep your financial boat afloat.

• Put yourself in each person's shoes. If one person is generally responsible for the budget and the other does the purchasing, switch roles every three to six months. This way, both partners know your financial situation.
• Don't begrudge your spouse small indulgences, but do agree to consult each other on big-ticket items. Put a dollar amount on what constitutes a big-ticket item now, so there's no question later.
• Don't keep money secrets.
• And finally, don't criticize your spouse about money in front of others. Ever.

Source: MSN