The Power of a Mother's Promise

Twenty-seven years ago this month, my mom made a promise that changed our lives forever.
by Stacy Wiebe

Now that I'm also a mother, I've come to see that promise as a kind of spiritual umbilical cord, a maternal link God used to bring new to life me and my family, and to countless others.

Prayer from a mother's heart
On May 30, 1975 my sister Carey was born. She was a true angel baby - sleeping through the night from the day we brought her home. She completed a trio of girls; I was four, and Amy, two.

A week after Carey's birth, Mom knew something was terribly wrong. Her left leg suddenly stopped working, dragging behind her.

By the time she arrived at the hospital, her leg was dead black. An astute nurse immediately nailed the cause: blood clots. Two hundred of them, the doctor said, coursed through her veins. One passed through her lung, causing pneumonia and kidney failure.

In her hospital bed, Mom had a conversation with God - something that had often comforted her battered heart as a child. Growing up, her parents partied hard and often abandoned her; when they were home, they were more harsh than loving. God's was the best listening ear she knew.

Now she turned to it again: "Oh, God, I want to live to see my babies grow up and get married," she prayed. "Please help me. I will do anything…" And then she made a promise: "I'll… I'll read the Bible. From cover to cover."

After 10 days in the hospital, Mom came home. The doctor said that if the clot that had passed through her lung had been a hair bigger, she wouldn't have survived.

Revelation
As she recovered, Mom remembered her promise. Starting in Genesis, she plodded through the super-size Bible she had bought, even though much of it seemed to reinforce her childhood notion that it was decipherable only by men who wore stiff collars.

Even so, a lot of what she read moved her, and when she came upon the question "What must I do to be saved?" in the book of Acts, chapter 16, the answer spoke directly to her: "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household."

She responded then to God's voice in her spirit, and was filled with understanding of how His love had led Him to send His Son, Jesus, to take the punishment for everything she had ever done wrong in her life - and ever would do. "It was quite a revelation," she later told me.

One thing I remember around this time is an earnest, private conversation with my mom. She revealed to me the truth about Santa Claus, and afterwards pulled out a book and read about a woman named Mary who had a baby named Jesus. She told me, "This story is real."

The cross and the barber pole
When I was eight, Mom decided our family needed to go to church. We attended various services, but church felt like a foreign, impenetrable culture with its own language and customs.

Mom found herself offering up another big prayer, "God, if You really want us to go to church, You're going to have to send one to our back yard."

God answered three months later in the form of a short Norwegian pastor in his 70s. He came to our door to invite us to a new church starting up at the barber/beauty shop three miles down the road. By country standards, three miles is on your front porch!

We went to the inaugural service, walking past the hair-washing sinks to the main room of the A-frame building. Though we sat discreetly in the back, we failed to make ourselves invisible. In fact, that little community of about 20 people immediately embraced us and over time, through their lives, showed us the winsomeness and Truth of genuine Christianity. My mom grew in her faith, and it wasn't long before my dad, my two sisters and I each decided to follow Jesus as our Forgiver and Leader.

Life, BC and AD
In the following years, I had a front-row seat to changed lives. God re-fashioned my parents' character, their habits, their attitudes.

Their abundant affection and the inner experience I had of God's love under girded me during my awkward school-age years.

Then I became a teenager.

In ninth grade, I decided to change my misfit image for the gloss of popularity, whatever the cost. I'll come back to God later when I'm done doing things my way, I reasoned. I shrugged off any consequences and believed that to have a "good" testimony, like so many of the dramatic ones I had heard, that I had to have a "past."

At 17, I finally woke up. God helped me imagine how my life might turn out if I continued shunning His love and leadership. I thanked God for protecting me in spite of my unwise choices and I realized the incredible privilege of having been spared the pain that my parents had experienced before knowing Christ.

Three weddings and a baby
When my sisters and I each married, Mom relished in the weddings. God answered her prayer that she would see us wed, and the subsequent ones that each of us would choose a mate who loved God.

Her joy ballooned with the arrival of grandchildren, and when it was my husband Mike's and my turn to tell them we were adding to the brood, we flew home to share the news in person.

A few days into our visit , my nurse-practioner called. A blood test had come back positive for "Factor V Leiden," a genetic blood disorder that can cause clotting during pregnancy and post-partum. The nurse wanted me to start right away on injections of heparin, a blood-thinning medication. Without it there was a high risk for miscarriage, still birth or blood clots.

At first I felt sorry for myself. Suddenly I was having a "high risk" pregnancy. Sticking my stomach with a needle twice a day was not the way I had envisioned enjoying my growing abdomen.

Mom felt guilty: "How could I have passed this on to you?" she thought.

It wasn't long before our emotions melted to thankfulness. God had intervened and prevented me from suffering what my mother had - or something worse. My obstetrician told me that few doctors are screening for this genetic blood disorder, which was discovered just 10 years ago.

"Why me?" became, "Why have I been singled out for so great a grace?"

A new branch
On March 30, 2001 my mom witnessed for the first time the birth of a baby - my son, Liam.

My greatest hope for Liam is that he will respond to God's gift of grace and follow Him with all his heart. As he grows, I will tell him that God has a plan for his life, and that He intervened to protect him in the womb. I'll tell him this parallels the way God's grace intervened to touch the spiritual deadwood that characterized our family tree, grafting in a new branch - one that is spiritually alive.

And I'll tell him how it all began with a mother's promise.

~~~~~~

A new branch in your family tree could start with you!
As a young girl, my mom told her parents, " I am going to raise my family differently." They laughed and said, "You will see." She did not know then that the difference she would raise us girls with was Christ.

Following Christ and creating a Christian home is something no one can do though, by just "trying really hard." We need help - or better - the one Jesus called the "Helper."

If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, God has given you His Holy Spirit to help you live life according to His perfect plan. Why not pray this simple prayer and by faith invite Him to fill you with His Spirit:

Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by
directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through
Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place
on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be
filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith.
I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for
directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen

If you prayed this prayer today, we would love to hear from you . Perhaps we could connect you with a mentor or provide resourceful links that could help you in this new journey.

Content By: Thoughts-About-God

New Arrival Baby Gifts To Make Them Go Ga-Ga

By Brian Connors

The unique episode in life involving the birth of an innocent child changes one's perspective on what is truly important. It's a cause for celebration to be shared by others who wish the parents and the infant only the best. New arrival baby gifts is a way to express one's joy and best wishes regarding these life changing circumstances.

One option to consider is the mailing of Baby Gift Baskets to send your message of congratulations and support. There is a variety of such that can contain both practical essentials for the parents and cuddly cute stuff for the new prince or princess to play with. This new arrival baby gifts option also has an efficiency involved that can save you valuable time. How so?
The internet is a vast pool of information as known by most active people. The use of search engines such as Google, Yahoo, MSN, etc gives people the option to search for information regarding specific themes, people, events and products such as Baby Gift Baskets. The magic begins when one finds the gift from a worthy online purveyor that would best send the right message in their right price range.

The next step is simply to use one's typing skills to fill in the necessary spaces for shipping, billing and safe credit card entry. There's also a space in which the purchaser can place a custom message of best wishes for the family regarding its newest member. The entire effort can take only a few minutes allowing you to circumvent the traditional burden of the voyage to and fro the hectic mall scene.

This new arrival baby gifts strategy is a win-win-win situation. The parents of the newborn are granted a most welcomed treasure to use on behalf of their beloved addition. The baby is bestowed precious items to make better what being a baby is all about. Lastly, your economy of effort to bring about the situation will leave you time to pursue other matters in your everyday life. The Ga Ga's would be felt by everyone involved!

Take the advice of aGiftBasketParadise.com and make the move to welcome a new baby to the world in the most efficient way. Make others happy while keeping your life at the pace you desire and deserve.

Brian is the owner of Gift Basket Paradise and offers his advice on the way to send new arrival baby gifts. He invites you to visit his webpage
http://www.agiftbasketparadise.com/members/514179/baby_gift_baskets.html for Baby Gift Baskets ideas to consider.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brian_Connors

Don't Be Your Child's Puppet

By Bob Lancer

Do you have a child who presses your buttons and pulls your strings, a child who makes demands for the pleasure of feeling in control over you, dominating your every move? Do you habitually give-in, give help, give attention without rhyme or reason? The more you cater to your child's manipulation tactics, the more that child depends on others to do too much for him, and the more fatigued, frustrated and out of control you feel.

To remedy this situation, you simply have to practice paying closer attention to what you are doing, saying, thinking and feeling in reaction to your child's actions. Your unconscious, automatic reaction habits set you up for puppet-like conduct, under the control of your puppet-master child. You have to first notice what you are doing to change what you are doing.

From self-awareness you can move into self-control. Do this by deliberately pausing before you respond to your child. You can make this into a habit by practicing it. When your child makes a demand or request, or when he behaves in a manner that triggers your reaction, intentionally pause before saying or doing anything in response. Just pause to observe for a moment or two.

During that pause you can determine if your child is expressing a real need or demonstrating a false manipulation tactic. A real need really does warrant your cooperation. A false manipulation tactic is something children engage in for the pleasure of feeling in control. When you cooperate with a false manipulation tactic, you end up feeling drained and perhaps even humiliated as you act as your child's lackey. There is only so much of this you can take before you end up losing your patience and perhaps even blow up in a temperamental outburst that you later regret.

When you meet a child's legitimate need you support the child's development of healthy, happy, responsible self-reliance. When you fall for a manipulation tactic, you actually weaken the child's character and contribute to her development of overly dependent personality traits. You also teach your child that it is okay to take advantage of others and to treat them with disregard for their best interests. The more successful a child is at manipulating you, the more respect she loses for you, and the more respect you lose for yourself.

When you catch your child in the act of manipulation, don't resent him for it. Relate to it as normal, natural testing. Children do not instinctively know their appropriate, responsible boundaries in relationships. We need to teach them these first and foremost by demonstration. As you demonstrate respect for yourself and for your child, your child automatically learns to relate respectfully with others and with himself.

When you fall for a manipulation tactic you demonstrate your lack of self-respect and your own weakness in the area of relationships. You have responsibility for recognizing when you are giving or doing too much. The better you are at establishing healthy, appropriate boundaries relative to what you will and will not do for your child, the sooner your child learns to adapt to and demonstrate respect for those boundaries.

Let's say that your four-year-old complains that he is thirsty. Your old, automatic habit might be to jump up and f etch him something to drink. If you practice your new mode of placing a conscious pause before responding, you may notice a manipulation tactic at work. You can then respond by kindly directing your child to meet his own need which he is perfectly capable of doing.

Being your child's puppet involves two things: your child can press your buttons and she can pull your strings. Whenever your child causes you to automatically react to his behavior, you are acting like your child's puppet and encouraging your child to continue treating you as his puppet.
Your child presses your buttons whenever he causes you to react with anger, frustration, impatience, stress, anxiety. He presses your buttons when he can get you to yell, nag, argue, engage in a power-struggle with him. He pulls your strings when he gets you to do things for him that he is better off doing for himself or better off doing without.

As you practice pausing for a moment of conscious observation before reacting to your child's behavior, you will find your better parental judgment coming to your aid (and to your child's aid as well). You will be more able to see, sense, feel, know, intuit the appropriate response, including recognizing when no response at all is called for. When your siblings squabble, when your little one whines, when your teen lets you down, when your children dawdle on a school-day morning... whatever the challenge, pausing before you react can save you from doing too much for no good reason.

Bob Lancer leads individuals, businesses, families, and associations to fulfill their greatest dreams. He does this through a wide variety of venues, including his WSB radio show, Bob Lancer's Parenting Solutions, a show that focuses as much on the raising of ourselves and of our society as on the raising of children. The show has been on the air since 1995 and broadcasts to 35 states over the radio, and worldwide over the internet.

He is the author of numerous books and he has created dozens of motivational recordings on his themes.

Bob Lancer transforms audiences through his dynamic keynotes and seminars on parenting, marriage, and personal and professional development at live events, including conferences around the nation and overseas. He has been leading his audiences to greater personal and professional success as a public speaker, seminar leader, consultant and author for over 20 years and his work has been featured on CNN and other network television stations, in national magazines and in major newspapers.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bob_Lancer

What Perpetrators and Child Survivors Think of Child Sexual Abuse

By Jane Gilgun

Perpetrators rarely think of child sexual abuse as abuse. Instead, they think sexual abuse is love, affection, a thrill, a high, play, comfort, a teaching moment, or payback.

For many, sexual abuse is love. Perpetrators may become angry and disgusted when they hear that someone else is sexually abusing children. "String them up!" they say. In their minds, what they do is love while what others do is abuse. Those who seek thrills and highs experience sex with children as the greatest feeling in the world. They would do anything to get the high that sex with children gives them.

Those for whom sexual abuse is play giggle and joke about the sexual touching they do or have the children do to them. They may play games like "You show me yours, and I'll show you mine." Many men who abuse boys establish a kind of "buddy" relationship with the boys where "horsing" around lead to sexual contact.

Sex abuse is comfort. For these perpetrators, sex with children is a "fix"-it fixes their mood when they are feeling bad. Others say the only time they feel good is when they are being sexual with children.

Sometimes perpetrators believe that sexual abuse comforts children. For them, life is hard, and they think it is hard for some children. They seek children who appear sad to them. Sex abuse becomes an act of kindness. Still others see themselves as teaching children, often their own biological children, how to make love. They would rather that their children learn from them rather than some scruffy teenager.

Some are rough and mean, deliberately hurting children. They believe children deserve to be hurt and damaged. They may confuse children with other people who have hurt them, and they think they have a right to take revenge on children. Children are scapegoats.

Children Understand Sexual Behaviors Differently
Children do not understand sexual behaviors in the ways that perpetrators do. Children do not have the experience or the emotional and cognitive development to do so.

For instance, a thirteen year-old girl believed that her uncle was trying to love her. She said, "I didn't like him the way I like boys." Sexual acts are a mystery to children. A girl whose grandfather abused her for six years, starting when she was three, said, "Grandpa used to do it on the boat. He had sort of a grin on his face. White stuff came out." Another girl, had a similar description about a stranger who molested her: "He took a towel and started wiping me down.
There was white stuff on it." Another girl said her teenage babysitter sort of did push-ups on her.

A six year-old boy told his mother that the anal penetration a fourteen year-old neighbor had perpetrated on him for a year and a half was "how I was made."

These examples show that children do not understand sexuality and sexual abuse the way adults do. They also do not understand that perpetrators take advantage of them. They do not understand adult sexual and emotional gratification. What adults want from them is beyond their comprehension. Children are confused and hurt by sexual acts, whether done by people they know, trust, like, and love or by strangers.

Perpetrators Have Sole Responsibility
Children also do not realize that perpetrators have sole responsibility for sexual abuse. Quite a few adults do not realize this either, and children may be blamed and stigmatized for being sexually abused. At an early age, children learn to blame themselves.

Nothing about children causes sexual abuse. All children are vulnerable to being sexually abused. Those who are sexually abused have the misfortune to be in the presence of perpetrators, and there is no one there to protect them. Children with disabilities that limit their capacities to communicate are especially vulnerable to sexual abuse.

The Best Case Scenario
The best case scenario for survivor recovery is the caring, supportive response of their families and friends. Children recover well when children are surrounded by people who love them, believe them when they say someone abused them sexually, and do not blame them. Children's recovery depends upon empathy, understanding, and education about the true nature of child sexual abuse.

Another important aspect of recovery occurs when others hold perpetrators responsible and accountable for their own behaviors. Accountability means that perpetrators take responsibility for the abuse, accept the consequences for their actions, seek the help they require to stop themselves from sexually abusing again, and apologize to the children and any other persons they have harmed.

Such actions are rare, but when they do happen, children's recovery is given a huge boost. Child survivors are relieved from the guilt, shame, and stigma that are part of being sexually abused. The adults in their lives have evidence in the words and actions of perpetrators that perpetrators alone are responsible, not the children, and that the perpetrators' behaviors hurt the children.

Children can and do recover when perpetrators do not take responsibility, but the road to recovery is made more smooth when they do.

When perpetrators take responsibility, the possibility that they can change their behaviors opens up. They then can report their behaviors truthfully to law enforcement and the courts, can hear what survivors and others whom they have hurt have to say, they can engage g in sex offender treatment, therapy, and they can accept the consequences of their behaviors. When they plead guilty, they relieve survivors of the difficult task of testifying court and enduring cross-examinations.

This is no easy thing for perpetrators to do, but those who take responsibility and stick with it have reason to hope that they can get their lives back and be in a better place. Sadly, some abusers swing back and forth between taking responsibility and blaming others. This hurts survivors and themselves. Such wavering also puts them at high risk to sexually abuse again.

Perpetrators Take Advantage of Children

Over time, recovery means that the survivors understand that someone--often someone they loved and trusted-took advantage of them. Recovery means that survivors understand that perpetrators hurt them psychologically and sexually. They have learned from their own experience that they have capacities to cope with, adapt to, and overcome the effects of the abuse. They deal with and reject the myths that they are "damaged good," dirty, and shameful. They know that they are good persons who other people hurt. They respect themselves and expect respect from others.

When survivors work through the effects of abuse, they have sought and responded to the help of many other people. Often this involves professional help along with meaningful conversations with trustworthy friends and family members. Survivors cannot grapple with the effects of child sexual abuse with the love and support of other people.

Survivors adapt to being survivors. They do not forget that they survived sexual abuse. Being a survivor has become part of who they are, but only one aspect of themselves, a part of themselves that helps them to connect with others who are hurt. Survivors who have accepted the fact of being sexually abused have great capacities for empathy, compassion, and encouragement of others. They understand how complex being alive is, with opportunities for joy, sorrow, rage, and living the everydayness of life with hope and dignity. They live full and rich lives based on their capacities to cope with, adapt to, and overcomes the effects of the abuse.

Some survivors live their lifetimes hurt by the effects of child sexual abuse. If they have other hard times in their lives, overcoming the effects of the abuse is much harder. Some people live their entire lives believing they are bad people when in reality other people have hurt them and these other people have not taken responsibility for their own behaviors. Other survivors are well into adulthood before they find the empathy and understanding that enables them to talk about being sexual abused. This brings them relief and emotional freedom.

Jane F. Gilgun, Ph.D., LICSW, is professor, School of Social Work, University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. She has two books available at http://stores.lulu.com/jgilgun

One is Unkind Deeds and Cover-ups in Everyday Life that will be available December 7, 2007 and the other is Everything You've Wanted to Know About Child Sexual Abuse, or Maybe You Didn't, available January 1, 2008.

Got to amazon.com/shorts for four short pieces she wrote. One is on Elvis in the Army, another an hilarious story about smuggling drugs into prison, another on the sexual abuse of 12 year-old boy, and the final one are the last thoughts of a man condemned to die for a murder he did not commit. The book will be available soon at http://stores.lulu.com/jgilgun

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jane_Gilgun

Globes - Perfect For Teaching Your Child About Geography

By Jennifer Akre

If your child is struggling to learn geography in school, there is hope to helping him get on track with his studies. Just turn to globes. Every night all you need to do is quiz him on what he needs to know and having that fixture in your home will make it that much easier for him to learn.

Really, globes are fabulous educational tools for teaching your child about all the important places on the planet. This is made possible because globes are 3D representations of the earth.
Pointing out all those spots, like bodies of water, continents, and countries, is a breeze since all you have to do is spin the globe around and your there. What's also great about this fixture is that your child gains a great understanding of his location and where he's at in relation to other parts of the world. Like, if you're family lives in Idaho and he's learning about a country in Asia, he will see that it is halfway around the world.

There are even globes that make learning fun because you can get ones that light up and others that are raised relief. They allow you to put an interesting twist on the lesson. For example, you could teach your child about the different countries in the world in the dark since the globe can illuminate the whole room. The ones that are raised relief actually have bumps on them, so your child can see and feel the difference in elevation, which is pretty neat when you're trying to keep them focused and on task.

Along with being a practical educational tool, globes also have an attractive quality to them. How so you might be thinking? Well, it is because they are made out of stunning materials that create globes that are extremely pleasing to the eye. For instance, the raised relief globes are generally crafted from wood that has a lovely cream base, which is then has the world detailing screen printed right on them.

Or, you can get others that are made out of beautiful gemstones, yes, gemstones, the same stones that are used to make jewelry. What also adds to a globe's beauty is how it can be mounted on other gorgeous materials. Like, wood that feature different finishes along with metals like silver and gold.

When it comes down to it, there are just a lot of different globes to choose from and for an easy way to check them all out, just hit the internet for some online shopping. In the blink of an eye you can compare products and their prices, and when you decide on something you like, it will be shipped right to you. Talk about being convenient since you didn't even have to step outside of your home to get what you wanted.

So, if your child is struggling with geography in school, help him out at home with classic globes. They are a great educational tool and a sure fire way to make sure he gets back on track in the classroom.

Author Jennifer Akre is the owner of a wide variety of niche furniture and accessory sites dedicated to providing online consumers with both products and information. Here, she offers valuable advice when purchasing fabulous gemstone globes, luxurious globes, and stunning Replogle globe.

Helping Around the House - Starting Your Child on Chores

By Lily Morgan

Chores are something every child dreads doing. How many TV sitcoms have you seen with a parent hounding a child to do his chores? While this scenario is played repeatedly with older children in houses across the globe, smaller children actually enjoy helping out around the house. But when is it time to introduce a few household chores to your child, and what tasks can a toddler or preschooler accomplish?

You can start educating children about chores as soon as your child is able to follow simple directions. As you start feeding your baby table food, you can have him pick up food from his tray and put it back in his bowl. This enforces the idea that he has to pick up his messes. Be sure to praise him for his efforts, even if he ends up making more of a mess than he started with. The point is that he is trying to help, and he needs praise for that.

Toddlers can help mom or dad set the table. Give your child unbreakable items to take to the table, like silverware and napkins. While he may not get the items in their perfect location, he will gain a sense of accomplishment from helping. At the end of the meal, have an item or two that the child is responsible for putting away. Many kids enjoy putting their milk or juice cup in the refrigerator when the meal is done. This enforces the idea that they do not jump up from the dinner table without helping with the clean up.

Another task a very small child can do is bringing in the mail. While you will have to get the mail out of the mailbox physically, you can hand it to your toddler to carry inside. Again, she will feel great accomplishment from helping. Be sure to teach her the importance of not opening other people's mail.

Children who have pets at home can help with care of the animals. Toddlers can bring pet dishes to mom or dad to be filled when it is mealtime. Older preschoolers can fill the bowls or feed smaller pets themselves. Because large pets like dogs often get excited around food, an adult should always be present at feeding time.

The most important thing to remember when introducing your child to chores is that praise is the best way to reinforce the idea that helping is fun. Instead of hounding your child to do what you want her to do, praise her when she does it.

Should you reward your child for doing chores in other ways? You may want to avoid giving tangible prizes to your children for doing chores every single time. This fosters the belief that children are only doing the chore because they get something for it.

A system of rewards can be set up where the children earn points for doing chores willingly, and the points are turned in for rewards. This teaches children the value of hard work, and the fact that sometimes the reward for their efforts comes a little later. With these suggestions, you can help your children develop a sense of accomplishment, pride, and belonging in your family by introducing them to the world of chores in a positive, uplifting way.

Find helpful and creative ideas for parents and grandparents while you shop our great selection of kids furniture (including our popular wooden toy boxes) and classic toys. Visit http://www.TheMagicalRockingHorse.com today!

The Role of a Child Custody Investigator

By Brandon Brewer

As custody cases become more and more competitive, parents have begun seeking every available opportunity to gain an advantage on their competition. This can involve multiple strategies, with some being more secretive than others. Hiring a child custody investigator is one way to build evidence against the other parent without them knowing. Since custody hearings take a number of different factors into consideration before making a decision, an investigator can influence the perception of the court across many levels.

Contrary to popular belief, child custody investigators are not just private detectives hired by those who can afford their exorbitant fees. The court system also employs investigators to provide them with a better insight into the daily routines and behaviors of both parents. Since the judge is unlikely to witness either parent's activities outside of the court room, it has become more common for the court to assign an independent party to monitor these things. For that reason it is important for anyone facing a custody hearing to become aware of the role that an investigator plays, and how it may affect the outcome of the case.

The goal of an investigator is to measure the tendencies of each parent while interacting with their child. They look for how the parent relates with the child and what activities they participate in while together. Ideally, the parent would offer enriching activities that promote the social and educational growth of their youngster. It is also observed whether or not the child enjoys these activities. Beyond this, the custody investigator is also looking for any signs of physical or mental abuse that may be occurring. Thus, they are making sure the child has a safe and healthy environment in which they can thrive.

Because a child custody investigator is hired to provide evidence to the court system, their work is typically secretive and very thorough. They may utilize many of the same tools and tactics that are commonly found in detective work. Video surveillance, phone tapping, and constant observation are just some of the ways they collect evidence. In a perfect world, their strategies are unbiased and used only to paint an accurate picture of the parental interaction levels. However, in cases where the investigator is hired privately, there is more pressure on them to produce incriminating evidence against the other party. This can be a tough obstacle for the opposition to face, making it important that they identify when they are being watched.

Custody battles have continued to grow more aggressive over recent years. Not only have parents become more willing to experiment with unorthodox tactics to build their cases, but the court system has also grown more stringent in their approach. This combination has left parents on both sides very little room for error. Because of the pressure surrounding these cases, the use of child custody investigators has risen considerably. At one time they were only used by those who afford to hire them privately, but now the courts are beginning to utilize their services as well. Since the evidence provided by them is so heavily weighted by the custody judge, it is vital for parents to recognize the power that an investigator can have over their case.

The most successful custody appeals happen when the parent takes full control of the process. You should never rely solely on a lawyer to win your case for you. Visit ObtainCustody.com for more resources on how to win child custody.

Child Magic Trick - In The Beginning

By Brad Chadwick

Being a magician, even one who does magic just for fun, is a very special thing. Magicians know more than just how to do tricks. They also know... the Magician's Code. The Magician's Code has time-honored rules that all magicians follow when they perform. If you want to do real magic, you will remember them. And they are very easy to remember because there are only 2 rules!

First, never, ever repeat a trick when you perform it in front of an audience! After you do one trick, follow it with another, saying, "Now, here is something different"... or special... or even more amazing. But why would you not perform the trick over?

That might be obvious. If the magician (that is you!) does the trick again, your friend (that is the person or the audience watching) gets a look at things he did not notice before. Most of the great tricks depend on your audience not looking where you do not want them to. So if you do the trick again, you give them a chance to discover the secret.

Which brings us to the second rule of the Magician's Code (and I bet you can guess this one).
Second, never, ever tell anyone how you did the trick. Your friends will beg you to tell them.
They will say, "Please, we have to know how you did that!" Maybe you will even think it might be fun to show them. It is not. Do not even think about doing it. Want to know why? When you do a great trick, you have done something really special. You made something "impossible" happen. Or so it seems.

And your friends are left amazed. But...you did not really make the impossible happen, now did you? You distracted your friends, or did something without their seeing, or your friends were tricked into not thinking about something, right? In other words, magic has a lot to do with things that people did not see, or notice, or think about.

If you show them how to do the trick, and then show them what they missed, well, they would not be amazed. Uh-uh. Mostly, they will feel disappointed. Want to hear what they will say?
Most likely they will say something like, "Is that all it is?" Good-bye, amazement. And you are not much of a magician anymore.

Also, by telling people, you can ruin the trick for other magicians who might do it. If everyone knows how the trick is done, It is not much of a trick anymore, is it? Now I bet you are wondering how I can tell you. Well, for one magician to teach another magician a secret is okay.
That is how great tricks get passed on. You have only started and there is a world of magic ahead of you. Now that you know the Magicians Code, you are ready to learn some very cool tricks.

Brad Chadwick Professional magician Itsmorethantricks.com

Is Your Child Ready For Contact Lenses?

By Karen Bianchi

If your pre-teen or teen wears glasses, chances are, you've been discussing the option of contact lenses. As a parent, you may be wondering if your child is old enough to wear contacts.Dr. Thomas Soviar, O.D., of Sears Optical says the most common age for kids to start wearing contacts is 11 or 12. "I do have some patients who are as young as 8. Their parents wanted them to have the contacts and they're working out just fine for them."

There are benefits and potential consequences to wearing contacts. Knowing the facts can help you make the right decision for your child.

Better Vision.
Contact lenses sit directly on the eye, so they offer a clearer view with less distortion. Spectacle wearers do not enjoy the same peripheral vision as their contact lens wearing counterparts.
Frames on eyeglasses block the outer vision, forcing the wearer to turn their head more. Some studies even suggest wearing rigid contact lenses may slow the progression of nearsightedness.

Sports Advantage.
"Contact lenses are much more conducive to playing sports than glasses," says Dr. William Goldstein, MD, an ophthalmologist in Shelby Township, MI. " Contacts offer better peripheral vision and they stay in place." Perspiration on the face can cause eyeglass lenses to fog up and the frames to slide down the nose. Sharper vision and comfort can increase athletic performance. Wearing contacts also enables your child to wear protective eye wear while participating in his or her favorite activity.

Self-esteem Boost.
It's no secret that appearance is very important at this age. Most kids feel they look better without their glasses. Increased confidence and better vision can improve grades and the desire to become more active in school activities.

Maturity Level.
If you have problems getting your child to willingly perform such tasks as washing his hands or brushing his teeth, you may want to consider if now is a good time to start wearing contacts. Dr. Goldstein notes, "When a young patient asks about contacts, the first thing I do is turn to the parent and say 'this cannot be another thing for you to remember at the end of the day. If it is, it's a bad decision.' Kids need to be able to take care of their own lenses."

Health Risks.

According to Dr. Goldstein, the two biggest risks behind kids wearing contacts are improper cleaning, which can cause infections, and over-wearing the lenses, maximizing risk of potentially blinding corneal ulcers.

If you wish to explore the option of contact lenses, your child will need to have an eye exam to make sure he or she is a candidate. Conditions such as allergies and dry eyes may call for special measures to make wearing contacts possible. For a child with healthy eyes, however, wearing contacts can make life more pleasant and in some cases, safer.

Karen Bianchi is a freelance writer and the editor/owner of http://www.AwesomeMomsNetwork.com To receive the free monthly Awesome Moms Network newsletter, send a blank email to subscribe@AwesomeMomsNetwork.com

Domestic Violence and Child Custody

By Steven Carlson

Becoming a witness of domestic violence and growing up in such a volatile and disturbing family environment can have a dreadful impact on the psychological development of a child. Hence, the issue of child custody in situations that involve domestic violence is one of great important.

The US Department of Justice gives great importance towards protecting the rights of children who are exposed to domestic violence. Domestic violence in this context does not necessarily mean the child has actually seen physical abuse or witnessed domestic violence. It may encompass circumstances wherein the child is simply present in the home during an incident of domestic violence. Such type of abuse is commonly referred to as “secondary abuse.”

In a California case known as In re Heather A., 60 Cal. Rptr. 2d 315, 322 (Ct. App. 1996) the court found that two children were exposed to domestic violence by virtue of being in the same home as their mother ho was physically abused by her boyfriend, even though the children were in another part of the house and did not actually witness the abuse. The two children were removed from the home and made dependents of the court upon a finding that the children were victims of secondary abuse.

Parents experiencing domestic violence within their family home are at risk of losing custody of their children. These children may be declared as dependants of the court, removed from the home, and taken into protective custody of Department of Social services. There are several means by which parents subjected to domestic violence can prevent losing custody of their children. The most important of these is to bring an end to such a violent relationship.

If you are involved in a relationship wherein domestic violence is present and children are involved, you would do well to consult an attorney in your jurisdiction to help you learn where you stand legally on the matter and what options are available to help protect you and your children.

© 2007 Child Custody Coach

Child Custody Coach supplies information, online materials, and coaching services to parents in the field of child custody, namely, divorce, child custody and visitation, child custody evaluations, 730 evaluations, parenting, and all issues related to child custody and divorce. "How to Win Child Custody - Proven Strategies that can Win You Custody and Save You Thousands in Attorney Cost!" is a unique child custody strategy guide written by The Custody Coach and made available by Child Custody Coach in an easy to read, understand, and apply E-Book format. Custody Match is an online consumer and family law attorney matching service to help you in your search for the right attorney for your divorce or child custody case. Custody Match can help you find the right family law attorney, divorce lawyer, or child custody attorney in your area.