Where Do I Belong?

By Kevin Eikenberry

Before you read any further, get a pen and a piece of paper. Write down all the groups you belong to. I'll help you get started.

I am a member of the human race. I am a male/female.

Keep writing until you have at have at least 10-15 groups on your list.

Now that you are back, let's review your list.

I'm guessing that you will notice some groups that you are a member of without even making a choice, like the two I gave you to start your list. You also will likely notice that some of the groups are so important that they define who you are. For example, I'm guessing at least a couple of these groups would be things you would say in any short introductory conversation about yourself - like where you work and where you live. Some of the groups on your list will be groups that you consciously join - perhaps even pay to be a part of (a college fraternity/sorority, a civic organization or a country club for a few examples), and many others you are a part of without even thinking about it.

All of this should illustrate something to you. We want to belong. In fact, as human beings, we need to feel a sense of belonging. A sense of belonging provides meaning, context and value in our lives. It provides a feeling of comfort and security that can't be found in many other ways.

So we've established the importance and power of a sense of belonging. Which begs an interesting question:

How can we as leaders use this basic human need to create more productive individuals and more successful results?

Five Ways

Here are five ways you can use the principle of belonging to create better results for your team and organization.

Give people a chance. If people like to join, give them a chance to join! Invite people to volunteer their time or ideas. Encourage a team to share the results of their project to date and invite others to participate, offer comments and insights. Think inclusion, rather than exclusion.

Give people a choice. When do you feel more engaged, when you choose something or when something is forced on you? Rather than picking people for a team, give people the latitude to join the group, project team or study group that they want to join. While you might have to persuade some people to move to a different team for balance, experience or other reasons, it is hard to overlook the value of people making choices related to belonging. People will be more excited about the work at hand and therefore more committed to the outcome.

Give people options. College alumni associations have figured this out. They have learned that people's loyalties aren't just to their alma mater, but to their academic department, housing unit, extracurricular club or more. Smart alumni associations have created multiple ways for people to be involved, be connected and feel that sense of belonging. We can take a tip from this example. As a leader you can look for a variety of ways for people to be involved and make a contribution. Think of new ways yourself, but more importantly (and more powerfully) invite others to suggest how they could contribute and how they would like to belong.

Give people time to join. Think about any major change effort. Not everyone is going to agree with or support the change immediately. Be patient and give people time to join, to come on board.

Make it attractive. If you have a team, are leading a change, and/or want people to be more excited, make it attractive to be a part of the team. Create a sense of pride and accomplishment. Look for ways to make the team an environment where people want to belong. This could be with tangible things (team members have t-shirts) or intangibles (people feel a sense of community; people enjoy or have fun belonging). Think about what would make it attractive to belong from the perspective of potential members - remember that they will be drawn to the group for their reasons, not yours.

Reading these five steps might lead you to think that I am proposing you build cliques or exclusive groups of people. While you certainly want to do what you can to help people feel a sense of belonging - for the passion, energy and engagement that comes with it - the focus shouldn't be to create one "in" group to the exclusion of others. Rather the idea is to create multiple ways for people to feel a part, to be involved, and to know that they belong.

Kevin Eikenberry is a leadership expert and the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group, a learning consulting company that helps Clients reach their potential through a variety of training, consulting and speaking services. To receive your free special report on Unleashing Your Potential go to http://www.kevineikenberry.com/uypw/index.asp or call us at (317) 387-1424 or 888.LEARNER.