Self-Respect And Dating

By David A. Richardson

Treat others as you expect to be treated. What goes around, comes around. That’s what you’ve always heard, and you always treat other people with respect, right? But are you sure you don’t treat yourself like dirt? Do you always give yourself the respect which you give other people? Or do you give other people the benefit of the doubt in a critical situation, but at the same time you give yourself a hard time when things go wrong? Here’s an example - the boss got mad at you. And maybe you really did make a mistake, but if just so happens that the boss is having a bad day, so he over-reacts and takes it out on you. Remember, most of the time, other people are too wrapped up in their own world and their own problems to spend their time making you feel even worse. In fact, unless you draw their attention to it by saying “You wouldn’t believe what a stupid thing I did today!”, they probably didn’t even notice. Most likely they will reply, “Hey, that’s not so bad – listen to what I did last week ...”. They are doing their best to put your mistake into some kind of perspective, trying to make you feel better – and you aren’t going to think any less of them for doing something stupid, are you? What does this have to do with dating? In part, the answer depends on how advanced the relationship is. If it’s well-established, then it’s easier to admit to having made mistakes because the other person in your relationship will already know that you aren’t perfect. Never try to get a sympathy vote, except in a joking way – it’s just too obvious and it won’t help you. However, if you are still in the very early stages of a relationship, talking about something stupid that you did may not be such a good idea. If it’s something you really want to talk about, you could express it in a way that implies that the event happened to somebody else. The reaction you get may tell you something about the future of the relationship! If you ran over their dog, you really do have a problem. But, in general, by the way you talk and act, always make it clear to other people that you respect yourself, so you deserve to be treated with the same degree of respect that you show them.