Prophecies of Doom

By David Nelmes

Edgar Cayce, Nostradamus, John from Revelations, the Mayans, and numerous other authors and psychics have all depicted terrible end time cataclysms that will result in the end of life as we know it. Like moths to a flame, we appear to be attracted to these prophecies since we tend to believe that we may be somewhat deserving of a fiery end...or at least that some people deserve or earned this future.

Various end of the world dates have been predicted hundreds of times since 30AD and even more predictions are provided for as far ahead as 2047 at this time...and as each year passes, more end of the world predictions occur for even later years. The addition of more and more predictions is inevitable since each occurrence of 'previously hidden evidence' or 'newly discovered information' will result in predictions going on for thousands of years to come...or until we choose to stop subjecting ourselves to such fearful and unnecessary banter.
Some popular 'end of the world dates' were and are:

  • 1982: Pat Robertson predicted that the world would end, plus world ends due to the Jupiter effect.
  • 1988: 40 years after Israel became a nation ('this generation shall not pass' with a generation being counted as 40 years + 1948.)
  • 1993: Same as above, but 7 years added for tribulation period.
  • 1998: Because 666 x 3 = 1998, plus based upon predictions from Nostradamus as depicted in the movie "The Man Who Saw Tomorrow".
  • 1999: Predicted by Kirk Nelson using Edgar Cayce's Predictions in conjunction with the Bible.
  • 2000: World ends due to the new millennium, also if you divide 2000 by 3, you get 666, plus another Jupiter effect, plus also predicted in the book, 'The Bible Code', plus Hal Lindsey's updated prediction from being in 1988 (40 years after Israel became a nation) to the rapture happening in 2000 and the end of the world in 2007.
  • 2001: Jack van Impe prediction, plus, since there is no year 0, the true millennium is 2001
  • 2007: Same as above but includes an adjustment for calendar changes in the middle ages, plus Hal Lindsey updates end dates to possibly now being 2040 or 2047.
  • 2009: Jerry Falwell predicts the end in 1999, saying less than 10 years to go.
  • 2012: Mayan calendar ends, plus the book "The Bible Code" includes yet another end date, plus Nostradamus picks this date in his newly discovered revelations, plus variations of interpretations from Edgar Cayce.

I am not going to argue that Edgar Cayce, Nostradamus or Biblical prophets may have had the capacity to see what we interpret as future events, but what I do know is true is that these depictions have more to do with dreaming or fashioning the future as compared to predicting it.

Even though hundreds of world ending predictions have come and gone in centuries past, without the world ending, the moment the next prediction is presented, the masses are drawn to this prophecy of doom and embrace it as inevitable and allow the fear of the prediction to affect them in some way.

The only reason these predictions attract any interest at all is because we feel so unable to control our own futures and therefore, we use these predictions as a way to grab apparent control, even though the future these prophecies provide for us are events we would not otherwise have chosen. In our frantic attempt to grab control of the future by accepting these predictions, we totally deny our own capacity to provide a better future that we could manifest ourselves.

End time prophecies may appear to provide us with a glimpse of our future, but all they really do is diminish our capacity to see that we have total say in what the future holds, because the future is not set. The future is based solely upon what your mind believes is possible or inevitable today...this moment. Your thoughts and resulting actions at this moment are what shapes the future, and nothing else.

If following the crowd and simply accepting the worst is where the majority of us desire to go, then let's look at where this method of thinking might take the world. Let's say that one of these predictions were really true and an event will occur that will wipe mans existence from the earth. How should we respond to this? How should we really view this possibility?

The only reason any prediction of the future would concern you is if you believe that the physical 'you' is all that there is. If you do not perceive or consider that there is something beyond the physical, then yes, the end of the world is the end of everything, and man's every conscious thought of every person simply ceases to exist as the universe just shakes us off. It's as though we never existed and as though not a single achievement or struggle ever happened or mattered at all. Life loses all meaning and even though this has not happened yet, the thought of it could only strip you of any reason to want to move forward and make something positive of your life.

Alternatively, if you do see that we are more than these bodies, and if you can perceive that we are actually spirit beings that simply use these bodies for a time, then any prediction of the end of the world has no real impact since its as though you are simply saying that one of your dreams will end. We experience this life and we behave as though we are really here and as though we are affected by all things, just like we do when we dream, but as when you awaken from any dream, you simply release the value the dream provided and often totally forget what it was about. Likewise, the end of times, were it to occur, would bring about an end of your physical life and you would awaken within a spirit existence and see that the physical things you thought mattered, don't matter any more. Even though the physical universe would say you are dead, you'll clearly see that you never died, but simply left that physical body and every concern that it manufactured.

When the body dies for any reason, even if the whole world were destroyed as well, the results for you are the same. This simply means that you move on to whatever is next. What is next can only be guessed about and is therefore a waste of time to ponder or debate. No matter what does come next, the spirit 'you' continues to exist and will continue its journey back to our Father and Creator.

Some believe we are reincarnated here on earth, or even possibly on other planets and even as other species. This may or may not be true, but it does not matter since whatever form you may take, that form is still only a shadowy reflection of the spirit 'you' which is eternal and never dies.

So, while experiencing life here on earth, or in your next existence, what is the best thing to do when faced with such terrible predictions of pending doom? You can choose to be open to see these predictions more clearly and see that you have a choice as to when, if and how they occur.
You can choose to embrace the fear of the predictions and become a willing partner for why they occur or you can choose to see that you are a spiritual being that has the capacity to make higher and more peaceful choices. You can choose to see that you have the capacity to allow the future to be nothing more than a perfect and peaceful path towards God.

To release yourself from any fearful concept of what the future may hold, first release all images of what you think the future should be or may be, then invite the Holy Spirit to correct your thinking and say "I am open for that which is best". By actively allowing the Holy Spirit to make your decisions for you, you can simply feel secure in knowing that God will bring into your life, only that which will result in drawing you closer to him. You can then cease to use your judgement to interpret the events of the world and allow yourself to see things as he sees them, as peaceful and loving paths towards the light.

Everything can be seen as an opportunity to grow and move forward...and no matter how anyone else may view your circumstances or the circumstances of the world, your existence can be one of peace because you will have nothing to fear, nor will you fear what may happen to others since you can know that no matter what they may allow to happen, the worst thing they could do is to end their dream of being physical here. Since their spirits live eternally, their journey back to our Father will still continue on in some way, until we are all reunited again.

Our world, or the existence we perceive outside of God, will end some day, but this is a glorious and happy event, not something of cataclysm and doom. Nobody dies. Nobody loses. Everyone wins. When we no longer see this world as something we need or want, we will once again return to our Father and Creator. At that time, our thoughts of this world will simply fade away as any bad or unusual dream does, and we will resume our eternal existence with our Father, and the 'one second of eternity' that was this world, will simply cease to exist. Being reunited with our Father, eliminates our desire for this world to exist, and that is when the world ends.
You can find this publication online at

David Nelmes - David considers it a wonderful blessing that his insight and writings can provide opportunities for those around him to see things from perspectives they had not considered before. He pursues Gods truths and is open and willing to see what God would have him see. He invites you to join him.

His influences consist of truly being open to seeing and applying the truths he has discovered through life and through both the "Bible" and "A Course in Miracles". You can visit David's website at:


How To Start Making Money With Online Forums

By Mike Anson

Many people wish to learn, if they can actually start making money with online forums and are surprised when they learn just how easy it is. Forums are online communities, where like-minded people hang out with each other and discuss about topics, and at times help solve doubts and questions asked by other members.

Many online entrepreneurs have promoted their online business and improved their returns on investments by starting forums related to the products or services they sell. They use informative and useful postings on these blogs to gain the trust of other people in the forum who may actually be their target market. They use forums to build links to their website, helping it getter listing too. The links are also used by other forum members who may be lured by the postings made on the forum. Thus, posting on online forums improves traffic, in turn improving the return on investment. It is also a cost effective means of marketing the website. Forums are great to lure targeted traffic to your websites, improving your click through rates improving your revenue.

Some people make money by posting on online forums. They are paid to post useful and informative information about a topic suggested by the forum creator. This is done usually when a forum has just been created and is in need of new posts to lure more members to the forum.
They love the job, as they get to air their views about a topic and get to make friends online as well as earn for posting on the forums.

Many people also use forum postings to promote their affiliate marketing or Google AdSense programs. You may post in forums that are relevant to the products you market or that compliment the products that you market. You may start posting in a forum that deals with migraine, if you are marketing a natural/herbal cure for migraine. You may offer friendly advice and recommend the products that have brought you such relief that you decided to market it yourself. You may also simply post in any forum, asking for advice from the other members giving a link to you website. You may ask them just how you can improve your website and leave a link. This way the visitors may also add to your revenue when they click on the ads in your website.

Keep posting in forums and ensure that your links are displayed; as this is a sure fire way of improving targeted traffic to your site. The more relevant forums you post in, the more are your chances for improved targeted traffic and the more inbound links you have to your site. Start posting in online forums to improve your returns on investments.

Mike Anson is an expert Internet Marketer who has been training others on Internet Marketing for many years. Visit his latest site Affiliate Marketing for Free information on How to make Money Online.

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Use eBooks And Articles To Build Your List

By Charles West

Getting customers to your site should always be ay the top of your thoughts. It is as important as the quality and the excellence of the product and the services you provide. It should go hand in hand in providing your customers the satisfaction they get in exchange for the money they have paid for your product or service.

One of the ways you can combine marketing and customer service is through opt-in marketing. With an opt-in list you get the opportunity to introduce your site and products on a good time basis. Opt-in marketing is a marketing strategy that is virtually low cost and not time consuming. You get the consent of your website visitors to subscribe to your newsletters and other promotional materials by offering them a free eBook in return for there email address and name.

Opt-in marketing uses your list of subscribers to send e-mail to. These e-mails will contain the materials you will send to your subscribers. It is essential that you present your promotional items in a manner that will catch the interest and the eye of your subscribers to keep them wanting for more. The best way to do this is to provide fun, entertaining and informational eBooks and articles.

Well written eBooks and articles full of content and useful information will help in building your list as more subscribers will be enticed to your list. When they have read the samples of your contents of your sites in the eBooks and articles, they will be intrigued as to what will come next. Subscribing to your newsletter will offer them a glimpse of what you have to offer next.

Many sites and companies have realised the importance of eBooks and articles and this also aids in search engine optimization and ranking . As more people are heading towards the internet for their information needs, serving the right information to them via eBooks and articles from and in your site will increase the flow of your website traffic. With more traffic, the percentage of your sales will grow. More sales turn into more profit.

There has been the rise for the need of well written, information rich and keyword packed articles for the content of websites as well as for newsletters and eBooks. These articles provide the information many are seeking in the internet. If your site has them, more people will be coming to and returning to your site for information and research.

Well written and up to date articles and ebooks will also boost your sites reputation if they are filled with good information you will be regarded as well informed and an expert on the subjects that you tackle. Your articles used on your website or in your eBooks must be well researched so that the people will trust you. When you have gained their trust, they will always come for you for their needs on that subject.

In conculsion, you must write articles - or have them written - to tackle subjects that are closely connected with your product and type of business. If you have a site for a medicine treating a certain disease, your articles must be about the disease. Or if you sell materials for home improvement provide articles which cover home improvements. Most articles searched for are tips, guidelines, methods, manuals and such, these are great to compile into an eBook and used as a give away or put on an auto-responder and emailed out say once a week. If you provide these articles to your customers and you have their trust, they will always go to your site for help and advice as well as for your products.

With the loyalty of these customers, they may subscribe to your opt-in list to receive all the information you have. If you provide them with the answers for that need, they will be happy to be receiving your newsletters as well as other promotional materials to keep them well informed. Others may even forward your newsletters or eBooks to other people when they find a certain article of interest.

You should provide links in your newsletter, articles or eBooks -where you can - so that when other people are reading it and wants to read more, they may click on the link and go to your site. With the articles you have in your site that are good, they may decide to sign up as well for your opt-in list. This will build your list and make it bigger.

Make sure to keep your subscribers happy and interested in your newsletters and promotional materials. Keep on posting and writing good articles for your site and newsletter. If you are not interested in writing them or if you just don't have the time, there are many available well experienced and knowledgeable writers willing to help you out. This is an investment that will pay for itself.

I've been on line for 5 years now and have various websites running which all have ebooks written by me. Over this time I have tried about 10 ebook compilers (ebook software programs) and have come down to a few I use for various reasons. Have a look at and you'll see my preferences.

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Business Loans - Take An Alternate Course For Your Career

By Ben Gannon

Many job opportunities have opened up now and the number of employed people has gone up considerably. But for those people who do not want to be limited in their lives and like to take risks in life, business is the prefect thing to do. If you require money for this, business loans will be a sure help in this situation.

Business loans help the borrowers by catering to all types of needs that are related to the business expenses. The borrowers can start a new business or re-instate an older one with the help of the money. Expenses like renting a new site, buying raw materials, transportation of goods, getting machines, registration, opening a branch etc can be made through the money from these loans.

Business loans are available to the borrowers in the secured and the unsecured form. It is up to the borrowers how they want to avail the money. Unsecured option can be availed if the borrower wants a smaller amount or does not want to risk his asset for the loan. If a low rate is wanted on a bigger amount and the borrower is ready to pledge his asset, then the secured loans option seems to be the perfect way out.

Before taking up the business loans, the borrower is required to undertake a research so that all available deals can be compared and the best deal can be chosen. Also the borrower is required to research for a lender who has a clean history as a lender and a good reputation in the financial market.

The borrowers who are suffering from a bad credit history which can be very common in a business setup can also take up money through business loans for investment. The rate of interest for these loans is slightly higher for these borrowers but can be lowered with research. Online application and comparison of deals can fetch the borrowers a lower rate of interest.

Business loans are a perfect solution for the problems faced by the businessmen. Highs and lows are a part of the game and you can control it easily with these loans now.

Ben Gannon is a senior financial analyst at Woman Business Loans. His articles are widely read because of the lucid manner of writing and thoroughly researched datas. To find Business loans, new business loans, online business loans uk, bad credit business loan, secured business loans uk that best suits your need visit

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Create Residual Wealth Through Network Marketing

By Michael Harris

Simply put, the best part about network marketing is that you don't need to have special talents or skills to do well. Anyone can do it, but so few people are. Most people are taking the road that's expected of them: get an education, get a job and hopefully retire with enough money to live through your golden years comfortably.

Participating in mlm, or multi-level marketing, while not the traditional road to financial security, is one way to step outside the norm and potentially make a lot more money than you're making now. Not to mention the fact that it's something that you can do without quitting your current job.

A simple fact: mlm programs wouldn't exist if nobody was making money from them. So you know you can make money through network marketing, but with so many programs, it can be a tough choice as to which one you wish to spend your time pursuing.

GDI (Global Domains International) owns the .ws internet domain name extension (for example: They are a true Inc500 listed, debt-free corporation and have a proven, successful track record. Essentially, they're the home for all .ws websites.

This mlm program works on the basis that the .com internet real estate market is far too overcrowded for aspiring webmasters to make any money off of it. Instead, you'll be able to cash in on the still young .ws internet domain.

You'll be able to view a short presentation to explain all of the details, but the important parts are as follows: Signing up is completely free. If you find that you don't have the time or energy to follow some simple steps, just quit the program before the free trial time is up and go on your way. Also, there's no actual selling involved whatsoever, the presentation video is the sales material and it's all that's needed to begin a successful network marketing career.

The product itself, a unique www.'yoursite'.ws domain name is yours to do with whatever you want. Use it for personal or business applications.

If you pick a great domain name that receives lots of hits, you can simply put an ad manager program (like google adsense) on the page and make more money on top of the money you'll make for referring people to the product.

Working with GDI, you can easily create residual wealth. This is the best kind of wealth. For example, referring just 10 people to GDI in one month who each refer 5 people to GDI means that you'll get $50 per month, year after year, after year. Just 10 people and one month's work, you'll have an extra $120,000 in 20 years.

More than likely, you'll refer many more people and those people you refer will refer more people and so on up to the fifth level of referral. (There's a handy income calculator at the site to that'll show you how it all adds up)

This win-win type of network marketing is by far the best type there is. The product is useful, the demand for it is astronomical and it's still in its early stages.

Get in on it while you still can.

Discover the new cutting-edge prospecting system that will quickly and easily generate more paid sign-ups in your primary business in 3 simple steps... Guaranteed!" The Big Time Downline Club

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Benefits of Tapping Both Organic Listings and Paid Listings

By Cheow Yu Yuan

A lot of companies and individuals think that by just having paid listings such as pay-per-click advertisements on search engines, they will not need to have good organic listings for their websites.

Recently I have heard a lot of sayings that websites who advertise through pay-per-clicks are considered more legitimate businesses, when compared to those that have prominent rankings on organic listings as they are usually considered content websites for researching purposes by searchers. I seriously do not agree with them.

I have seen very profitable businesses apply search engine optimization to their website and rank well on search engine organic listings. These companies are legitimate businesses providing services and products as they know the importance of ranking well on organic listings.

You see, the fact still stands that websites which are listing well on organic listings generate a higher click through rate when compared to websites on the Sponsored Links area.

Be it organic listings or paid listings, the purpose of both methods is to tap on the high and quality traffic from search engines, so as to generate either more leads or sales for your business. Therefore, it makes perfect sense that if there is a chance to get prominent organic listings, you should grab this opportunity so as to capture more quality traffic and leads.

Today, we are no longer residing in the information age anymore. We are in the recommendation age. Search engines, blog, social networking sites are all great and reputable recommendators. If you are listed on the top 3 organic positions on reputable search engines like Google and Yahoo!, it is considered that Google and Yahoo! recommend your website to searchers who are searching for your products or services. This will definitely add more weights to your business.

I personally feel that search engine optimization and pay-per-click should be applied together. A website should ranks well on organic listings, with its core keywords summing up what business it is in. Then pay-per-click can come in to target more diversified keywords targeting individual products or services. In this way, both organic listings and paid listings will definitely compliment one another.

You do not need to sell something directly online from your website in order to make full use of organic and paid listings. You can use these channels to generate more leads by having them to sign up for your newsletter or filling up enquiry form. Then you can do follow-ups with these prospects and close any deal through either face-to-face meetings or phone calls.

Cheow Yu Yuan is the co-founder of

Check out more about Search Engine Optimization at

Please feel free to republish this article on your website, or distribute it to your friends or clients, as long as you leave the resource box intact.

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Global Warming in the Antarctic

By Michael Warr

After 40 years of being away I returned to the Antarctic in 2005. Even with over 98 percent of Antarctica being ice, global warming has started to change the fifth largest contient. In the 1960s I had worked on the Antarctic Peninsula as a meteorologist, and I drove huskies.

(Environmental concerns that the Antarctic-born huskies were an alien species meant that by 1994 all the huskies were removed from the Antarctic). A major change has been the increase from a few hundred tourists in the 1960s to the present number of over 30,000 Anatractic visitors annually. But the greatest change has been the effects of global warming. Comparing my meteorological records from forty years ago to those of the present has added to the evidence that changes have occurred in Antarctica.

The effects are not immediately obvious to Antarctic visitors even though the temperature has increased by 2.5 degrees C over the last few decades. There are still masses of ice, glaciers, and frigid waters along the Antarctic Peninsula. I had spent a year at Adelaide Island in Marguerite Bay forty years ago with no fur seals, now they lazed around on the rocks of the closed down base. In the 1960s the seals lived 700 kilometers to the north. Now they are spread all along the Antarctic Peninsula. In some breeding areas there is concern that the huge numbers, now in the millions, will destroy other Antarctic flora and fauna habitats.

The increase in temperature means less sea ice. Less sea ice has meant less krill larvae, (krill are the shrimp-like creatures that most Antarctic marine life depend on for food). This affects the more southerly Adelie penguins' feeding habits. The more northerly gentoo penguins are surviving the increased temperatures, though some recent warm summers with temperatures over 8 degrees C has resulted in penguin heat exhaustion.

The only two flowering Antarctic plants, the hair grass and the pearlwort, have increased their range and area. There are more plants growing, and they are now found as far south as 68 degrees latitude.

87% of the glaciers in the Antarctic Peninsula region have retreated in the last fifty years. This rapid change has not been evident for thousands of years. Ice shelves have lost much of their ice; some have now disappeared. Antarctic ice drill cores have shown the fastest and highest jumps in temperature over the last 900,000 years has been in the last 200 years. Human activity has affected not only the temperate and tropical parts of the world, but also the polar areas. The edges of the north and south polar-regions are more vulnerable to change that the zones in between. Global warming is changing our world.

Michael Warr worked as a meteorologist and dog handler in the Antarctic in the 1960s. He returned as an Antarctic tourist in on an icebreaker in 2005, and was an Antarctic historian on a cruise ship in 2006.

He taught in British Columbia and is now retired. His activities are running, reading and gardening. He wrote a book on the Antarctic: South of Sixty .His website is

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Technology is Great, if it doesn't get you FIRED!

By Joel Heffner

A few years ago, I attended a presentation where three clowns, I mean speakers, made a presentation. They did just about everything wrong. However, the worst part was their use of technology.

The person responsible for getting the PowerPoint started did not know that to get a PowerPoint presentation started all you have to do is click on an icon. We should have known that things were going to get worse at that point.

The next joker to speak, sorry again, I meant to say, the next distinguished speaker, turned his back to the audience to read the slides. I don't mean glance at the slides, I mean he read every word on every slide. Incidentally, he did not have the greatest looking back.

Although three people were joining in for the presentation they had only one microphone. It was on a relatively short cord so that some of the speakers had to bend over, as if in great pain, to use it.

Although they were speaking to a group in a large auditorium, the screen was only about eight feet wide. I was lucky (I think) because I was sitting in the front and could see the slides. The folks in the back definitely could not. It might have made sense if someone had tested the set-up first and someone else sat in the back to see if the screen was legible.

Unfortunately, the worst part of the whole day was that the three people were representing one of the major technology companies in the world. [I won't mention the company to protect three jobs.]

*Know the equipment that you are going to use.
*Know the room you are going to speak in.
*Know how to use PowerPoint if you are going to use it.

It is very easy to look like a jerk when you use technology that you are not familiar with. It can also get you fired.

Joel Heffner is a writer, speaker and communications consultant. For information on how he can help you go to


Steps On How To Make Money With Your Blogs Easily

By Mike Anson

People make money from the blogs that the created quiet easily. There are so many ways starting a blog can be of help.

Many online businesses have created blogs as a cost effective way of promoting their website, build links, and to promote their products or businesses. Let us say that the firm deals with SEO, their blog is based around the same topic. This way, they can subtly offer their services while answering doubts of the members. Each posting they make, has a link to their website; this improves their visibility and drives targeted traffic to their site, thereby, improving their returns on investment. This is a most common way of using blogs to make money.

Some people start a blog, based on a topic that they are experts in and use their postings and the success of their blog to get them job offers from some of the top blogging sites. They use their blog to promote their services and in this way, they use the blogs to make money online.

There are certain writers with a flair for writing who are hired by firms that have started blogs to keep posting new and interesting threads, based on a topic relevant to the blog. They get to write for various blogs on a daily basis and thus supplement their income with the money they earn by posting to blogs.

Many people use blogs to promote the affiliate products or product that they market, they may start a topic relevant to the products and their use. They will again use posts with links to their website, in order to drive targeted traffic to their websites. They gain confidence of other bloggers by giving honest reviews of the products that they market.

Some people use CPC advertisements such as, adbrite or Google AdSense programs in their blogs thereby, monetizing their blogs. They have to work hard to get top listings in search engines and do all that they can to promote their blogs. It will be most effective if they are able to do considerable keyword research and select high paying AdSense keywords.

Some large firms have begun to realize the advantage of advertising or being advertised in blogs by their webmasters. They have begun to sponsor blogs paying huge bucks to be mentioned or have their website or products reviewed in the blogs.

In these ways, you may start making money from your blogs by working from your home, part-time. It is essential that you do your best to get top listings in search engines and that you utilize all tactics to maintain and recruit more members each day. Soon, you can become an expert who is making lots of money from blogs.

Mike Anson is an expert Internet Marketer who has been training others on Internet Marketing for many years. Visit his latest site Affiliate Marketing for Free information on How to make Money Online.

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Beat Motion Sickness During Your Holiday Travel

By Dan Beldowicz

If you or someone in your family suffers from motion sickness then you have an extra element to prepare for when you think about traveling for the holidays. Not everyone experiences motion sickness the same and it may not happen every time. For example some people get motion sick on a cruise ship but not while they are in a car. Others may get queasy when they are on a train but not on an airplane.

Common symptoms of motion sickness include sweating, nausea, dizziness, saliva in the mouth that is more than usual, and vomiting. Most people know when it is coming on and do all they can to minimize the effects. Many women many suffer from motion sickness when they are pregnant due to the changes taken place in their body. Children are also quite susceptible to it as well.

There are plenty of things you can do on your own to help prevent the effects of motion sickness from occurring. Many adults find they don't suffer from motion sickness if they drive the car.
This is because the sensors in their brain view the scenery flashing by differently when they are in the driver's seat. This is why so many get sick when they travel by train. If you are susceptible to motion sickness as a passenger in a car avoid a window seat on a train. You also want to avoid those seats that face backwards.

Children should avoid trying to play games or read books in a moving vehicle if they suffer from motion sickness. They should also ride in the middle seat in order to offer them a view out the front of the vehicle instead of from their peripheral vision on the side windows. Offer them light snacks before travel such as crackers and water. Avoid having them travel on an empty stomach or after eating a large meal.

For those that still suffer from motion sickness, an over the counter or a prescription medication may be required for successful holiday travel to take place. Make sure you carefully follow the instructions of such medications. Don't exceed the recommended dose. If it says to take it with food or water then make sure you do so. Some of them require consumption during a specific period of time prior to your departure so pay attention to this important detail.

Even so, no method or medication is 100% foolproof when it comes to motion sickness. Some people experience it only once in a while and others deal with it all the time. Try to get to some fresh air if possible. If you are on an airplane turn on the air above you and take slow, deep breaths. You will find bags offered in case you do end up having to vomit. You can also try to make your way to the bathroom where you will have more privacy.

While it may be embarrassing you need to understand you aren't the only one that has problems with motion sickness. The fact that the mode of transportation you are taking may be full during the holiday season can be stressful but you will never have to see most of them ever again. You may want to carry extra clothing with you for those in your part that do suffer from motion sickness, especially children who may end up vomiting on their clothing.

Don't let your holiday travel plans be stopped due to your fear of suffering from motion sickness. Do all you can to subside the symptoms on your own. If that isn't effective then try various over the counter products. As a last resort as your doctor for a prescription medication to help ensure you can get through the travel process so you can enjoy your holidays. If you find certain types of transportation are more difficult for you than others you should avoid them if possible.

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Secured Loans - End The Financial Crunch

By Erika Anaya

Going in for a secured loan is the best financial option for homeowners. The loan is secured by mortgaging your home. If a repayment of this loan is not made, you stand to lose your home.
Secured loans are simple to manage and have a lower interest rate than other types of loans like unsecured loans or credit cards. Through a secured consolidation loan, you can club all your debts together and also make consolidated payments.

Secured loans are popular because they can be availed of by people with a bad credit rating or those whose income cannot be verified. Even those subsisting on a pension can avail of this loan.
Secured loans are available through a large number of lenders in the U.K. Interest rates, the time period for repayment and other terms and conditions differ from lender to lender.

Therefore, the best secured loans should be selected only after a careful perusal of all the various loans on offer in the market. It is especially imperative to know the Annual Percentage Rate (APR). It should be ideally not too high, because if it is high or if it increases after you take the loan, you could end up repaying more than you had envisaged for.

If you want fast secured loans, a viable option is to approach an online lender. There are substantial advantages in doing this. The first is that their rates are lower as their overhead costs are lower than a bank or an independent organization. Also, you may not have to do much market research. Many online lenders use the information you upload for getting a loan to make the market comparisons and give you the option of best secured loans. All you need to do is consider the options carefully, take print outs and decide on the suitable loan.

About The Author: For more information about secured loan and secured homeowner loans please visit:

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Activities To Avoid After A Heart Attack

By Sky Joe

Regular physical exercise is extremely beneficial after recovering from a heart attack, there are still certain activities a patient recovering from a heart attack should avoid. It is also absolutely important for anyone recovering from a heart attack to stop smoking. Smoking is a major coronary risk factor that can be eliminated completely. There are many available methods to help in the quitting of smoking.

Alcohol abuse is also a coronary risk factor but it is not directly harmful if it is consumed only in small quantities depending on individual's tolerance level for alcohol. However it should be important to note that alcohol may trigger some abnormal heart rhythms and reduce the pumping action of the heart. Hence it is advisable to only consume alcohol under close medical supervision.

Vigorous competitive or contact sports should also be avoided. Sudden physical exercises such as rapid dancing, running or playing singles tennis soon after meals or alcohol consumptions should also be avoided.

Patients recovering from a heart attack should also take good care of their emotional health by minimizing emotional stress. Emotional stress causes the heart to beat at a faster rate, raises the BP and increases the heart's workload. It is essential to learn how to be realistic, optimistic and methods to relax. Regular exercise and optimistic attitude are very important in reducing any stress. There are current many self-help programs and books which teaches the individual how to manage their emotions.

It is also important to maintain a proper healthy diet after recovering from a heart attack especially if blood cholesterols levels are abnormal and weight issues are a concern. High-cholesterol foods intakes such as red meat, egg yolk, butter, cheese, seafood, ice cream and whole milk should be reduced. A healthier and more appropriate diet should consists of a variety of fish which contain omega-3 fatty acids, egg white, fruits and vegetable. This diet with proper exercise routine will be beneficial.

©Skyjoe. All rights reserved. This article may be freely distributed as long as it remains unaltered inclusive of the active links and the copyright notice. No alteration is allowed without express written permission from the author.

For more information on Heart Disease, Heart Disease Prevention or Symptoms Related to Heart Disease, you can visit this site: All You Need to Know About Heart Disease

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Breast Augmentation 101

By Danielle Grilli

According to a study performed by the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, 364,610 breast augmentation procedures were performed in the United States in 2005 alone. This represents a nine percent increase from 2004's stellar numbers.

Used to increase, correct, or reconstruct the breast for cosmetic or post-operative purposes, there are many options available when considering breast augmentation. The first decision is the type of implant: Silicone or saline? Second is incision. To date, there are four common incision points to choose from. The final consideration is the placement of the implant: where is it going to be put within the breast? Because every person's needs and desires are different, the plastic surgeon will generally advise the patient on the optimal augmentation procedure.

There has been some controversy over the choice between saline and silicone implants. Saline implants are considered the safest and most popular choice to date, representing 83.4 percent of implants in 2005 and carrying FDA approval since May of 2000. On the other hand, silicone implants, approved by the FDA in November of 2006 after a 14 year ban arising from links between silicone implants and auto-immune illnesses, are considered more natural looking.
According to, a website dedicated to educating the public on plastic surgery procedures, silicone implants are virtually indiscernible from breast tissue, creating an effect that looks and feels more natural than saline. Furthermore, unlike saline, silicone is dense so the risk of 'rippling,' the unattractive wrinkling of skin over the implant, is unlikely.

Of course there are downsides to silicone implants. Unlike saline, silicone implants may rupture, causing a "capsular contracture," or thick scar, around the implant. Also, since silicone implants are pre-filled prior to insertion, they necessitate a 6-8 cm incision whereas saline implants require only a 3-5 cm incision. Finally, silicone implants are more expensive. According to, a patient should expect to pay between $5000-6500 for a saline implant. Silicone costs approximately $6000-8000. The type of incision is also an important factor. To date, there are 4 different types of incisions. The most popular incision, called an Inframammary augmentation, is made on the lower portion of the breast, near the crease where the breast meets the chest, so that any scar will be covered. Another common incision, called a Periareolar augmentation, is made on the edge of the areola, where the dark area around the nipple meets the skin. This incision is usually a semi-circle around the lower part of the areola.
The third type of incision, called a Transaxillary or Axillary incision, is made in the armpit, and the fourth method, called a Transumbilical or Umbilical augmentation, involves inserting the implant through the belly button. Given the difficulty and potential for complication, this fourth method is not frequently used.

Positioning of the implant is either sub-glandular or sub-muscular. Whereas sub-glandular insertion places the implant beneath the breast tissue, but above the muscles, a sub-muscular placement sets the implant partially beneath the pectoral muscles. There are positives and negatives to both options. Situating the implant sub-muscularly costs more, requires more anesthetic and healing time, but it is also the most suitable option for women who have very small breasts. Furthermore, because a sub-muscular placement interferes less with mammograms, it is also the best choice for individuals with a history of breast cancer.

Though it's an outpatient procedure which takes only 1 to 2 hours to complete, breast augmentation surgery does require significant downtime. Side effects such as swelling, discoloration, fatigue and discomfort should be expected. Most patients will not be able to shower or work for several days and exercise should be avoided for about a month. As a rule, it is important for individuals with breast implants to have regular checkups and mammograms.

For women who are simply looking for perkier, firmer breasts with or without an implant, the breastlift or mastopexy is a good option. This surgical procedure raises and reshapes sagging breasts by removing excess skin, lifting the breast and relocating the nipple. Not unlike breast implant procedures, a mastoplexy does leave scars which are usually obscured by a bathing suit. Furthermore, having a breast lift won't keep you firm forever; pregnancy, aging, and fluctuations in weight are likely to effect just how long the results will last.

As the evolution of breast augmentation continues, more and more advances begin to surface.
Although modern silicone and saline implants are the only options available today, there are other implants which are currently being researched. Among these are "gummy bear" implants and Elast-Eon implants, neither of which has yet to be FDA approved. Whereas gummy bear implants, constructed of a firmer, more cohesive silicone gel, are purported to be the silicone implant of the future, Elast-Eon is made of a bio-material which promises to be safer than silicone.

For more information on breast augmentation, please visit your plastic surgeon.

Danielle Grilli is a poet and visual artist. Her work has been published in a variety of journals and webzines including Breast Augmentation that can be read in full in

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50th Birthday Cake Ideas - Let The Person Feel He-She Is Much-Loved With This Present

By Albert Lee

50th birthday is a celebration that can be more sensitive and special, so to speak. Celebration could be old-fashioned, but treating your parents to this party will make him or her feel a much-loved and appreciated person. Getting this party could be quite tedious, but could be lots of fun at the same time. Of course, the best theme for this is a retro themed birthday party. There are various ideas that you can have by asking persons and friends of the same age by the celebrant. Having a 50th birthday cake idea that matches this theme will complete the fun and festive mood.

If you are creating a 50th birthday cake idea, you have lots of fun and unique choices. You want to impress the celebrant? Then make sure you incorporate the kind of person he or she is into the cake. This can be through integrating some pieces that symbolize for a love of specific things and hobbies. Whatever it is, create the cake in a fun way, and not in an offending way that he or she is getting old each year.

An over-the-hill 50th birthday cake idea is one that is perfect for this celebrated age. Hill-shaped cake is a bit simple but you can let your imagination run for a while and come up with some ideas to make the cake extraordinarily unique. Green and brown icing around the cake seems to compliment best this birthday party. Cake toppers are available as well, and make sure you pick one that will remind how the celebrant has been in the recent years.

A stunning heart stopper is a 50th birthday cake idea with the numbers 5 and 0 shaped to make the double layer cake. If you cannot do this kind of cake, you can easily ask for the services of some local bakery and store to make them for you. This is going to be a perfect idea, and a very unique one at that. Place a picture of the person embossed both on the 5 and 0 numbers shaped cake and he or she will love it even more.

Another 50th birthday cake idea is one that will turn the party into complete riot. Playfully design a cake that is shaped like the two feet of the celebrant. Add toe tag where you can attach his or her age number. Or, you can have both hands as an alternative to the feet. If the cake is a surprise, it can get relatively difficult to obtain the shapes and wide of the person's feet and hands, but just pretend you have to get them as you are going to buy a pair of shoes, or perhaps a ring.

Some people opt for a birthday cake that is shaped as open book. The idea is to have memory page where you can have date of the birth, marriage, children's birthdays, and other special dates scribbled using different colorful food colorings. This is yet another lovely and unique birthday cake idea that will have the person get reminded of the fond memories he or she had earlier.

Whether you are creating the 50th birthday cake idea or not, the important message for this is that the person is acknowledged as one important family member. And if you are not doing the cake, there are always online shops that cater to creating different types of cakes for all ages, celebrations, and occasions. You can always take advantage of these online shops by just sitting in the comfort of your home to order the cake.

To learn more birthday cake ideas, visit
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Treasure Hunting

By Anu Satish

If you are traveling from home, you will need to know where to search for your treasure in the area you are visiting. You will also need to know how much your trip will cost in total, including your hotel stay, food and airfare. If you are hunting for treasure on land or in water that is not your own (or publicly owned), you may need the permission of the property owner to hunt for treasure there.

Once you have a good idea of where you are going and what you're searching for, it's time to get started! First you will need to do a bit of research. If you are looking for something specific, learn about how to uncover and care for the treasure, should you happen to find it. Research different types of treasure hunting equipment and decide which pieces will best suit your needs. Devise a 'plan of attack'; this will help you stay on course and avoid becoming discouraged if your hunt isn't immediately successful. Pay attention to safety issues as well. As you are getting ready, consider the area you will be visiting and whether there may be any hazards. For example, if you are searching for treasure on a beach, you're likely safe wearing sandals and shorts. But if you will be walking through a densely wooded area, hiking boots and long pants are more appropriate. There may even be areas that would require safety shoes or glasses. It is important to take these precautions so you don't end up getting hurt in your quest!

Prepare yourself mentally for your treasure hunt. Whether you are just out playing around with your metal detector, or on a serious quest for a rumored valuable treasure; you should be prepare yourself for the possibility that you may not find what you are looking for.

Is there really such thing as an unsuccessful treasure hunt? If you enjoy it as a hobby, then every trip should be a success. Even when you come home empty handed, you've spent the day doing an activity that you enjoy. Remind yourself of this often before you go. If you dread the prospect of spending all day searching for nothing, then this might not be the best hobby for you!

You should also be prepared in case you do find your treasure. Depending on the item you have been searching for, it may require special handling or care. You need to have the proper equipment to recover and transport the treasure without damaging it.

Satish KS
Treasure Hunting Top Secrets

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The Million Dollar Answer to Road Rage

By John W Williams

We've all been there. At that moment when you're ready to blow your honk or yell at the driver next to you because they seem to be clueless. You get angry because the person in front of you is going 15 miles UNDER the speed limit. You're thinking What Are They Doing? You are steady shouting"Move", "The Light is GREEN", "It's a Yield sign not a Stop sign." The crazy part is Hello they can't hear us. Meanwhile, you've already lost your composure over this slow driver in front of you. I prefer to call them Sunday drivers. They're just poking along like they are on a Sunday Drive on Wednesday afternoon during rush hour. By now you are accelerating and decelerating your vehicle to tailgate this knucklehead in front of you, in hopes that they might get a clue. My question to you is ... who needs to get a clue you or them? Answer this honestly because you might have a problem with road rage.

Read over this checklist and if you're guilty of one or two you may not have a rage problem. (I'm guilty of a few myself) However, if every drive you take you find yourself committing several of any of the following ... you may have a Road Rage problem.

Do You -

- try to force the slow driver ahead of you to speed up by tailgating them

- weave back and forth in traffic, changing lanes without signaling

- intentionally pass someone and then slow down to let them know how it feels

- hit the gas and race through a caution light when it is about to turn red

- drive in the passing lane intentionally blocking other drivers from moving ahead

- constantly sound your horn

- flash your lights on and off at other drivers to get them to move out of your way

- constantly brake hard because you have little time to react

- use obscene gestures towards other drivers.

There are ways to avoid feeling anxious, and upset, while driving. And time is one of the key factors. Leaving yourself 15 minutes to spare while traveling can do wonders. So take some deep breaths and slow down. The car you are driving could end up being a deadly weapon if it is used in a hazardous manner. Instead of trying to multi-task while driving, use it as down time to relax. Put in your favorite CD and just unwind. And if you happen to be the pokey driver that's holding up traffic and someone flips you off, don't react the same way. Avoid making eye contact with anyone who is trying angrily to get your attention. It could end up being a deadly situation.

Here's a few ways I've found to calm down behind the wheel:

1- If you are having a bad day, Keep your emotions in check by focusing on family or friends or something positive. Sometimes just smiling for no reason can help you stay calm.

2-If another driver is being rude to you, don't be rude back to them. Sometimes people are just looking for a reaction. If you react, then the fight will probably be on.

3- If you feel someone is trying to be aggressive with you avoid eye contact them. (I usually start nodding my head to the music). That allows them think I'm clueless and they drive on in frustration leaving me alone.

4- Think just how valuable life is. Your reaction could cause an accident. Is it really worth it? What if the other driver has a weapon? You never know the other driver's state of mind ... they could be having a bad year compared to your bad day. They could feel they have nothing to lose. But what about you? Is reacting and getting even worth getting killed?

5-Give people the "benefit of the doubt". Maybe they just got fired, lost a family member or have an emergency of some sort and that's why they're driving like a maniac. In some cases people will get lost in their thoughts and not even realize they are annoying you. We all have bad times.

6- Lastly but most importantly, if a bad-mannered driver is following you don't go home. Stop by the nearest police station or call 911 and give your location while continuing to drive.

The main thing we all need to remember is to treat other drivers the way we'd want them to treat our grandmother on the road. Everyone has their reasons for their insane ways of driving and we can't control that. We can however control ourselves. So proceed with caution and try not to rush. If we all were a little more considerate while driving this wouldn't even be an issue.

Drive safely and live longer. It's better to get to your destination late then never at all.

John Williams has strong family ties which drove him to start his own business. Working long 10 hr days in the Sales Industry proved difficult while raising 4 children. He found himself working more and playing less at home. To enable himself to enjoy more of his wife & family, he put his 13 yrs of sale experience to work. He accomplished himself in the business community with his experience & knowledge he acquired while in the work field. He's since relocated his family to Central PA & becoming involved with his children's leisure activities & wife's social gatherings.

John has shown real strength behind Internet marketing as a powerful income producer. He has helped everyday people join the business community and acquired the proper mindset to succeed. Now while reaching new highpoints with his Internet Marketing Company, he's still able to help get his team to new levels of success. John knows that Internet marketing success is the way of the future, so he ensures his clients master and apply his Internet marketing principles so they all gain success.

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Business Credit Card Processing - Merchant Accounts

By Zed Miller

With the growth of business, one needs to upgrade operational methods to keep up with the pace of other businesses. With the growth in credit transactions, good business houses have turned to business credit card processing.

A lot of hassle is associated with liquid money. It requires manual labor for handling even after which there are possibilities of errors that are associated with cash transactions. Hence, the importance of a business credit card processing system comes into light.

A business credit card processing program helps your business to grow and provides a hassle free shopping experience to your customers. It is inexpensive and easy to operate and attracts customers looking for hassle free shopping experience. A credit card payment system lets customers shop with peace of mind unlike when making payments with cash. Whether you sell used books or handmade baby clothes, a credit card payment option generally attracts more clients who are willing to spend more than the person who operates on a cash basis.

You can grow your business and move ahead with a retail credit card processing method. You can also use the MOTO system for mainstream commerce. MOTO or a Keyed merchant account is used by businesses that do not sell face to face or those businesses which take orders over the telephone or through mail. A MOTO merchant account lets you process transactions through a credit card machine, a PC processing program, or by keying them in over the internet.

After deciding on opting for business credit card processing, look for credit card processing company that offers the best deal. The credit card processing company provides you with the credit card processing equipment, service, maintenance and other benefits associated with a credit card processor. Only after thoroughly going through the terms, sign the deal for the services that the credit card processing company provides.

Zed Miller, an expert business writer, regularly contributes his articles to various websites just to help merchants, small businesses and retail houses to expand their market base by accepting the prevailing mode of payments. Visit to read more articles from this author.

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Where To See Help For Depressed Family Member?

By Rachel Broune

The most important thing anyone can do for the depressed person is to help him or her get an appropriate diagnosis and treatment for depression. This may involve encouraging the individual to stay with treatment until the symptoms of depression begin to abate (several weeks), or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs. The very nature of depression can interfere with a person's ability to get help. Depression saps energy and self-esteem and makes a person feel tired, worthless, helpless, and hopeless.

Offer emotional support. This involves understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement. Engage the depressed person in conversation and listen carefully. Do not disparage feelings expressed, but point out realities and offer hope.

Do not accuse the depressed person of faking illness or of laziness, or expect him or her "to snap out of it."

Learn all you can about depression.

Learn all you can about the helping system for depression in your area.

Bond with your friend. (That is, in the depressed person/helper relationship) Learn to communicate with the depressed person.

Encourage and help them to strengthen themselves physically, mentally and emotionally as much as possible given their depressed state.

Do provide the depressed person with practical help, as you are able. For example, you may provide them with babysitting; this can be especially helpful if they need to go to a therapy appointment or support group. If possible and appropriate, you may provide financial help. Do model positive behaviors. One of the best ways to influence someone else to become more healthy, is to be more healthy yourself. Be a good role model for your depressed friend or family member by living a positive, growing, balanced life yourself.

When helping someone who is depressed, don't expect the depressed person to overcome his or her depression all by himself or herself. When depressed a person can't "pull himself or herself up by his or her boot straps." The depression relates to chemical changes which have taken place in the brain. A person can't just change his or her brain chemistry back to normal.

Depression and dual diagnosis affects the whole family. There are many ranges of emotions from anger and fear to hopefulness and hopelessness. Having others that have experienced it before can help eliminate unhealthy coping mechanisms such as isolation, shame, control and low self-esteem.

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional: We are all going to feel pain in life never mind a home with mental illness. Surround yourselves with knowledge, self-care, experienced support and nurturing. There are no such things as victims ... only volunteers.

Make a list of early symptoms such as sleep, appetite and mood changes. Early intervention is the key to stopping a downward spiral. Determine what worked in the past to get the person with clinical depression back on track and do the things that worked before.

Research shows that medication in combination with cognitive behavioral therapy is more effective than medication alone. Combined with therapy, the person who is clinically depressed may need to make lifestyle changes, including dietary and exercise changes. The family needs to find ways to reduce stressors by simplifying their lives.

Listening carefully can also make you more aware of signs of suicide which should not be ignored.

Rachel Broune writes articles for depression. He also writes for anxiety and phobias.

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How to Seduce Anyone

By Bai Ling

How do you get a guy to fall in love (or into bed) with you? Chinese-born actor Bai Ling, who most recently sexed up the small screen on Entourage, shares her best come-hither secrets — no booty shaking required.

1. Do the slow reveal.
Seduction is an art. American men will ask you right away: "What do you do for a living? Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend?" They're very blunt. That's too easy. That's boring. They should take the time to see who you are. And you should slowly reveal who you really are.

2. Flaunt your assets.
If you love a part of your body, show it off. I like to wear short skirts, and I like to show my stomach — that works for me. Wear a favorite color. Wear a perfume that heightens your sexual senses. And don't wear too much jewelry; it's distracting. Most important, don't get caught up wondering, Oh, will he like this on me? He's not the driver, you are! If you're confident, he'll feel it.

3. Don't hide your apprehension.
Having anxiety during a date isn't a bad thing. It shows your vulnerability. Intelligent guys like that. If you're nervous, there's a vibe there that can be kind of lovely, so don't try to cover it up. Don't think so much. That's when you start to get lost.

4. Pay attention to your upper body.
On most dates, you're sitting down with a man, so seduce him with your upper body, your breasts, your shoulders. Also, smile! When you smile naturally, it makes you more attractive to others.

5. Avoid playing games.
Playing hard-to-get is not being yourself. It's always best to be honest and show your heart. A lot of people play games, like when they say, "Oh, I'm going to be late. I've got another date" [to make you jealous]. That just doesn't work.

6. Be generous with the compliments.
I think it's good to compliment a guy on anything you feel is really outstanding, because compliments generate a very positive environment. Besides, being appreciative is a very attractive trait in a person.

7. Repeat after me: "I am beautiful."
We are all, in our own ways, truly beautiful. If you love, respect, and accept your true self, your soul mate will find you. It's not about trying to look more beautiful. If you're trying too hard and feeling insecure, you'll lose yourself and your soul mate.

As told to Adena Halpern


The Secret Ways You Say "I Love You"

Do you and he have a code word that means "Want you!"? A look that says "Love you"? A classic line from The Simpsons that stops a fight in its tracks? Find out why this sexy, sweet shorthand means even more than you know.

With three kids in the house, Stacie Zaragosa and her husband, Ricardo, have to get creative when they want to escape the crowd. So this Winsted, CT, couple have come up with a secret code phrase that lets them slip up to the bedroom, no questions asked. "One of us will say, 'I think we should both go upstairs and fold the laundry,' " says Stacie, 34. "The kids would never go near laundry, so it's a safe bet!"

Whatever your secret code is, speaking a private language doesn't just give you two a charge - it actually has the power to strengthen your bond. "Public displays of commitment - such as having a signal at a party to let each other know you're bored and want to leave - are better predictors of a couple's longevity and stability than public displays of affection, according to a recent study," says therapist Pat Love, coauthor of the upcoming book How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. "That's because these acts show nonverbally that you think as a couple, that your partner's having a good time is as important as your having a good time, and that your commitment to each other is bigger than your commitment to almost anything else." (Not taking sides against your spouse in a heated cocktail-party political debate - or even something as simple as finishing your meals at more or less the same time - also counts as public displays of commitment.)

"Communicating in code reinforces your solidarity and rapport," adds Diana Boxer, Ph.D., a professor of linguistics at the University of Florida. "It not only shows off your identity as a couple, it actually strengthens it, and that makes you feel more connected."

Where Do Codes Come From?
Three words: your shared history. "When couples have a meaningful experience together, they tend to use a word or phrase as a shorthand way of evoking the entire experience," says redbook Love Network expert Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., couples therapist and author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free. For Tessina and her husband, that word is "candles," because on their honeymoon, they passed out with candles blazing and almost torched the place. "Now all one of us has to say is 'candles' and we both laugh," she says.

No couple sits down and makes a point of figuring out a covert phrase or signal to share; rather, "The meaning of a code evolves over time," Boxer notes. "The more we get to know each other, the more we understand how the other person thinks."

Usually, codes are created at random, as was the case for Andrea Nemeth, 36, and her husband, Vadim Shleyfman, of Caldwell, NJ. "When we wave our hands in a shooting motion like a gun, we mean, 'I love you,'" Andrea says. Its origin? She can't remember! "We created it in some goofy moment," she says, and they now use it often.

What Code Can Do for Your Love
Having your own shorthand is a time-saver, for sure. But your catchphrases and nonverbal cues can also help you put hard-to-express emotions into words, find a comfortable way to ask for sex, even say, "Why are we fighting, anyway?" Some of the surprising benefits of your secret language:

Code keeps "I love you" from being one-size-fits-all.
When Anna Colombo, 37, met her man, she knew right away they were meant to be together. "Yet saying 'I love you' was not my thing," says this native of Italy who now lives in Salt Lake City. "So one day I told him, 'You're my home.'" More than 10 years of marriage and two kids later, the pair say these three magical words all the time. And their pet phrase has new relevance, she adds, "since we left Italy and our families and friends to move here."

So why not just say "I love you"? "Code is extra-intimate, because it says that you and I have been through this thing that nobody else has," says Tessina. "It's absolutely specific to you two." And if you're not a Hallmark kind of couple, it also lets you personalize the tone of your "I love you," as Shannon and Daniel McCauley of Philadelphia do. "I often call him 'a half-witted, stuck-up, scruffy-looking nerfherder,' to which he replies, 'Who's scruffy-looking?' - in perfect Han Solo timing," says Shannon, 32. "We also sign every email with 'I.M.S.' It stands for 'Implied Mushy Stuff.'"

Code lets you be private in public.
No matter where you are or who else is around, code creates a space for just you two. When Stephanie Hahn-Schmidt and her husband started dating, he was working for a paving company, side by side with big, burly guys' guys. "Every time he called me from a job site, he was embarrassed to say 'I love you,' in case someone was listening. So instead he would tell me, 'I like you,'" relays Stephanie, 38, a mom of four from Lodi, WI. "We've been married more than 11 years now, and we still say it to this day."

Glynis Buschmann, 42, of Yuba City, CA, and her husband have devised their own sneaky shorthand to help them feel connected in a crowd. "We just say 'magnificently' or 'incredibly' to say 'I love you magnificently' or 'I love you incredibly,' " Glynis says. "We started it when we were first dating and talking on our cell phones, where other people could hear us."

Heck, you don't even need words to create a just-us bubble: Suzanne Dunn's husband, Stevon, touches his nose to let her know she's adored. "He does it all the time - during family dinners, at parties, at our kids' ball games," says Suzanne, 35. "Nobody else has a clue what he's doing. It's our secret, and it feels so good."

It's no surprise that getting covert makes you feel cozy in a crowd, says Love. "It says, We're together, you're tuned in to me, and I hold a special place in your heart," she explains. "The reason we're in a relationship in the first place is we want to know we're somebody's best friend, and that we hold that unique place in his life."

Code helps you bridge the man-woman communication gap.
"Shorthand is a way for women to speak the male language," Love says. "Men aren't given to nuance. They like quick - doing rather than talking through things. And they hate having to figure out meaning. Having a code saves time and energy, so he's happy." In other words, codes help the two of you meet halfway between the talky female style of communicating and the silent male style.

Even though codes tend to be male-friendly, we XX's take to cryptic talk just as much as men do. "Women lead the way with developing a private language," Love notes, "because women's brains are highly specialized for reading subtle and nonverbal cues, and for attaching emotion to language." That's how it happened for Jacque Mellor, 42, of Casselberry, FL, and her husband. "We always kiss when the clock says 12:34 - a.m. or p.m. - because that is the time we were married 23 years ago," Jacque says. "My husband says I'm the one who started it, but he's the one who made it a tradition."

Code makes asking for affection less scary.
It's little wonder that so many of us have a signal or password that means, "Action, please!" "Sex makes us more vulnerable than almost anything else," Love points out. After all, being turned down for sex can make anyone feel inadequate, rejected, or undesirable. "But when you have a code or cue," she continues, "it takes away that awkward negotiation and paves the way for true intimacy. It provides an easy way for your partner to say no without it seeming like a big deal."

And these cues do more than subtly get your point across - they help get both parties in the proper frame of mind. It makes sense: If you consistently associate a word or signal with sex - such as if your sex shorthand is "Orlando," because that was the site of your first overnight together - with time, that word or signal alone can actually get you both fired up. That's the case with Christi Mann, 25, and her husband, Dave. "I have a shirt that I put on when I want to get frisky - it's a gray tank top with a little bunny on it," says Christi. "Now, every time I put it on, it drives him crazy!"

You can use code to say "Truce!"
The first thing Wendy Alli ever said to her husband-to-be when she saw him sitting three bar stools away was, "Want a chip?" She instantly felt stupid, but it started a conversation that started a real-life love story. And the phrase now saves the Spring Hill, FL, pair from letting silly fights get in the way of their good thing. "When we get a little frustrated with each other, one of us will say, 'Want a chip?' and it brings us back to that moment when we first met," reports Wendy, 33. "It always makes us laugh!"

No matter what your twist on "Want a chip?" is, having a lighthearted white-flag phrase or signal breaks the tense mood, helping you remember the big picture ("We're great together!") rather than the little issue at hand ("He used up my $30 conditioner!"). "Humor and teasing can be a powerful tool for defusing a charged interaction," explains Boxer. And it doesn't just help you in the moment: Research has shown that couples who use humor to alleviate tension and conflict have longer-lasting marriages than couples who don't.

Still, your truce code doesn't have to be a knee-slapper, as Kimberly Salem, 40, and her husband, Joe, of Proctorville, OH, have discovered. "We often forget how much we mean to each other in the midst of an argument," she says. "So we came up with a code that puts things into perspective: W.A.B., which stands for 'We Are Blessed.' It puts a smile on our faces every time."

Having a saying with personal meaning can even help you through really tough times. Nobody knows that better than Mandy Snyder, 29, and her fiancé, Ed Blank, 29. The Allison Park, PA, couple were trying to build a house, but "at every turn, we ran into difficulties," she says.

"Around the same time, we watched the movie The Money Pit, and every time the main characters would ask a carpenter or plumber how long something would take, they got the same answer: 'Two weeks!' Now, any time one of us is getting too stressed, we'll smile at each other and say, 'Two weeks!' We always laugh and it draws us closer together."

Code Red
As long as you're not calling each other "Splenda lips" in front of the boss, there's little downside to using code. Of course, you don't want to communicate exclusively in a private pig latin, Love advises. "Remember there's a time and a place for deeper expressions," she says. "Make sure your connection is deeper than a catchphrase."

Here's one good sign that it is: Your secret signals keep the two of you feeling connected over time. "When we're at a party and someone else is talking too much, my husband and I will discreetly push our knees together and glance over at each other for a second," says Jade Woodson, 36, of River Rouge, MI. "For 20 years, it's let us know that we're both feeling the exact same way. It's sweet satisfaction to know that not only are we soul mates, but we're also still great friends."

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10 Biggest Mistakes Wedding Guests Make

By Miles Stiverson

In the course of wedding planning, you'll probably come across a guest or two whose inappropriate actions, odd requests, or rude behavior seems appalling. Don't be shocked -- while you may know the ins and outs of wedding etiquette, some of your friends and family may not be aware of what's acceptable. What can you do? Be proactive. Here's how.

1. Not Sending RSVPs
What they did: Anyone who's ever planned a wedding knows the importance of a punctual RSVP -- from plotting your seating chart to giving the caterer a final headcount, it's hard to proceed without a firm grasp of who's coming. Unfortunately, some of your guests may treat the RSVP as a novelty rather than a necessity.

How to deal: Give it a week. After that, it's time to give them a call. Recruit your maid of honor to help you with phone duties if you're really struggling with missing RSVPs. Or, better yet, send out a group email (use a blind CC) saying that you need to know by [insert deadline] if they're planning on attending. Keep the tone nice, but firm. Then, you only have to call those who don't reply to the email (which really is a double-duty foul).

Stop the cycle: Make the reply-by-date as early as possible, say two weeks from the date you intend to mail the invitations. That way, when your guests see that the deadline is quickly approaching, they'll (hopefully) stick the reply card in the mail right then and there.

2. Sending RSVPs With Extra Guests
What they did: The good news is that the guest has returned the RSVP. The bad news is that she'd love to attend. . .with a person you never invited -- maybe never heard of. Whether she believes every invite bestows the right to bring a date, or a child, adding a name on the RSVP puts everyone in an awkward position.

How to deal: To avoid potential hurt feelings, you need to establish a no-exceptions guest list policy (significant others only if engaged; no children under 18). Then, call the misguided guest to explain the circumstances. Apologize for the misunderstanding, and tell her that unfortunately the limitations (a small reception space or a tight budget) require a strict guest list. The person most likely didn't intend to thwart your list with the addition of another guest, and will gladly come to the wedding solo.

Stop the cycle: Tell your parents, wedding party, and other close relatives and friends, so that they can spread the word when asked. And, of course, address your invitations in a direct manner (don't write "Smith Family" unless they really are all invited). The earlier that a guest knows who's actually invited, the less painful the conversation will be.

3. Bombarding the Bride
What they did: As soon as they received the invite to your wedding, the phone calls began. Guests are treating you like their personal concierge, with questions about transportation, accommodations, and fun things to do while they're in town.

How to deal: Make sure every guest has all the info they need by creating a wedding website. Include a link to the hotel where you've reserved a block of rooms, local museums and restaurants, and driving directions. Put together a welcome basket for out-of-towners with the weekend's itinerary, so that no one feels the need to ask you about the wedding game plan.

Stop the cycle: Some technophobes might still pester you with questions. Go over the guest list with both sets of parents, and decide which key invitees, if any, are not likely to check your website. Print out a copy of the info listed on the site and mail it to them.

4. Buying a Non-registry Gift
What they did: Some guests feel that buying a present from the registry is impersonal. Instead, they go and purchase a gift with a little more -- er, imagination.

How to deal: Shopping off the registry can result in a pleasant surprise, or leave a couple cringing. You cannot, however, be anything but gracious for any gift you're given. While they're typically expected, wedding gifts are technically not required from a guest. If someone has eschewed the registry and bought you a present you know you won't use (or, even worse, they've given you a gift you know you'll have to hide), check whether they sent it with the receipt. If so, they may have realized their gift might not be your style, and it's fine to return the present. Otherwise, write a thank-you note for the thoughtful gesture, and keep the gift for as long as you can stand having it around.

Stop the cycle: Register at an off-the-beaten path store that offers unique gift options like a local museum shop or a boutique home store. That way, the guest can get you something a bit more personal that you actually love.

5. Showing Up Late
What they did: You know how some people show up late to movies because they know there will be 20 minutes of trailers? Some guests may have a similar notion for your ceremony. We know one maid of honor who saw a late guest stroll in directly behind the bride as she walked down the aisle with her father!

How to deal: For those who are really late, ask an usher or your day-of coordinator to hang out near the rear of the ceremony site so they can make sure your processional goes undisturbed, and to have them help any late guest quickly and quietly find a seat.

Stop the cycle: Give yourself a slight buffer for your friends and family who are never quite on time. If your invites say the ceremony begins at 5:30 p.m., plan on walking down the aisle about 15 minutes after that.

6. Bringing a Big, Heavy Gift
What they did: It doesn't sound so bad: Someone brought a huge gift to the wedding. While you really can't complain about receiving presents at your reception -- or, at all for that matter -- it can be a pain to lug them home.

How to deal: Ask one of your attendants to store all the gifts in one place -- preferably a locked, separate room in your reception space -- so that nothing gets left behind. At the end of the evening, that attendant can account for all the gifts and then take them to the most convenient location (probably your home rather than your honeymoon suite).

Stop the cycle: Online registries have made it easier than ever to send gifts wherever you want. Promote this gifting tool by including links to your online registries on your website.

7. Giving Unexpected Toasts
What they did: Weddings can be emotional events, and the toasts are an opportunity for your closest friends and family to share sentiments with the rest of your guests. Those same emotions (and maybe too much alcohol) can do funny things to any otherwise reliable guest, and some may feel compelled to grab the mic when they weren't asked to toast. Embarrassing stories, offensive anecdotes, and rambling rants have all worked their way into wedding toasts.

How to deal: Unfortunately, you need to just grin and bear it. If the toast seems like it will never end, have the best man signal the band or DJ to carefully cut in. The other guests will appreciate the gesture too.

Stop the cycle: Head off unexpected toasts by making sure the emcee of the evening (your DJ or bandleader) has a list of approved toasters. Tell them not to give the mic to anyone who's not scheduled to speak, no matter how persistent their plea for the microphone.

8. Requesting Songs
What they did: You've worked with your band or DJ to put together the perfect soundtrack for your evening. All of a sudden, your ambience is interrupted by the sounds of "Y.M.C.A." and it seems that your Aunt Margie is behind it.

How to deal: Requests from your guests may be inevitable, and if your band or DJ thinks it's appropriate for the atmosphere, they might give requested songs a play. And it might be okay -- you can't control everything about your wedding or reception. But if you're still fuming from the faux pas, talk to the bandleader or DJ immediately afterward and tell them that you would prefer to avoid group dance songs like the "Y.M.C.A.," or any requests for that matter.

Stop the cycle: To avoid any playlist pitfalls, give your band or DJ a list of songs that you absolutely don't want to hear at the reception. If you're worried your strictly-Motown playlist will be disrupted by someone's insistence on hearing his favorite Bon Jovi tune, it's okay to let your band or DJ know that guests' song requests should be politely declined.

9. Drinking Too Much
What they did: A few too many signature cocktails turned one of your guests from the life of the party into a bit of a mess.

How to deal: While it's not your responsibility to babysit your guests, you can't turn a blind eye to someone who's had way too much to drink. If there's any risk that the guest will try to drive, ask your planner, a responsible attendant, friend, or family member to call a cab, and to make sure they take the ride. It's not much fun to send someone home early, but making sure everyone gets home safely is incredibly important.

Stop the cycle: You can't limit the number of drinks each guest consumes, but you can grant the bartender permission to cut off anyone that's has had one too many. Other than that, make sure there's plenty of water on the tables and enough delicious edibles to satiate any guest -- big drinker or not.

10. Crashing Your Wedding
What they did: In the middle of your perfect party, you notice a few unfamiliar faces in the crowd, and wonder, "Who invited them?" Your wedding has been crashed.

How to deal: Don't freak out! With tasty food, fun music, and free drinks, it's no wonder some fun-loving people might want to get in on the action. If you spot a crasher, have the site manager or one of your attendants discreetly escort them out.

Stop the cycle: If you're marrying at a hotel or club that hosts multiple parties in one night, there might be wedding wanderers. Unless you hire a security guard (which is a bit extreme), there's no way to prevent it. If you're really worried, tell the catering manager (and the waitstaff) to keep an eye out for possible crashers.

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