The crazy way we met!

By Christine M. Coppa

Most of us have those strange almost-met-someone moments: Stuck in rush-hour traffic, you make eyes in the rearview mirror at the cutie behind you… or walking your sister’s dog while she’s out of town, you find the pup, well, strongly drawn to a poodle whose owner is adorable… Often, these incidents don’t lead anywhere, but for some of our lucky readers, they were the start of something very, very good. Read their inspiring stories, and be open to meeting your next honey in a most unusual way.

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We met at a party we weren’t invited to!
“My best friend’s brother was having a gala graduation party. She invited me last minute to keep her company, like the day of—seriously. My guy was also invited the night before—also a last-minute attendee. He met my friend’s brother out at a bar. And her brother, after a couple beers, boasted: ‘Come to my party tomorrow night, open bar!’ This wasn’t the type of party you just show up to. It was white-glove service and the invitations were printed, like wedding invites! There was a champagne fountain and a dessert show in the middle of the dance floor. When I got there, I didn’t even have a seat card. I saw an empty seat at my now-husband’s table and asked if I could sit there. He said, yes… four years later, I said ‘I do!’”
—Liss Gallotta, 25, Riverdale, NJ

He replied to my profile…which I didn’t post
“I was dating someone my friends hated. You know the story: ‘He’s not good enough for you, you’re too kind-hearted for such a jerk!’ So without telling me, they put me on MSN Dating & Personals to prove a point—that there was someone better out there for me. They totally went behind my back—I mean, I was in a relationship! All the incoming emails responding to my profile showed up as spam (which I immediately deleted). Somehow, one email got through, from a guy named Rich. For some reason, his email fascinated me and I agreed to meet him for a casual cup of coffee. That day, everything just clicked—we knew from day one, we were meant to be together—forever. We talked and laughed and I think by the end of the date we were finishing each other’s sentences. We've even talked seriously about eloping! I guess my friends were right—my ex wasn’t good enough for me!”
—Sara Govatos, 26, Weehawken, NJ

We were trapped on the subway together
“Last year, around 8:30 a.m., I got on the subway as usual. I had my non-fat latte and new issue of Vogue in tow and was looking forward to a thirty-minute commute uptown. The train approached the first stop, but came to a halt underground between stops. I sat there calmly for 5 minutes, but as it approached 9 a.m., I began to worry. The conductor came on the loudspeaker and said there was a small fire at the next stop, and our train was being detained. That’s when Tony, a handsome guy in a suit across from me, let out a sigh of disgust. I responded, ‘At least it’s Friday!’ He smiled, and we started chatting. The train finally continued on, but before we parted ways he asked for my number. We had dinner at a brick-oven pizza place that evening and things took off from there!”
—Gianna Catrone, 30, New York City

I was being set up with his friend
“My friend Joanne was dying to set me up with her pal John’s friend. Joanne has good taste, so I let her play matchmaker. I didn’t know anything about the friend but I had heard John’s name enough in the past to feel comfortable. John told Joanne that he had a friend for me—he said, ‘He’s smart, funny, good looking…’ I trusted his taste so I gave Joanne my number to give to John to give to his friend. When John called to sell his friend to me, we ended up on the phone for hours. We ended our conversation with the agreement that I’d go on a blind date with his friend the next night. But, when my doorbell rang the next night, I was surprised to see John there with flowers! He said that ‘I was just too good to giveaway to some other guy.’ And I have to admit I was glad he did take that initiative!”
—Kristina Katsoulas, 28, Long Island, NY

We met at a wake
My boss’s mother passed away, and I attended the service. I didn’t really know anyone there, except for a couple of the guys in I.T. I felt funny signing the condolence book but figured I ought to. The woman ahead of me turned and handed me the pen. She said: ‘I hate signing in to these kinds of things… I don’t know what to say about my ex’s great aunt.’ I smiled and said, ‘I don’t know what to say either—my boss’s mom.’ Later, after talking with my boss, I saw that woman again, off in the corner alone. I said something really corny like, ‘Come here often?’ and we both stifled a laugh. We ended talking amongst lily plants. We’re still together and we joke that our first date was a funeral—can’t get worse than that!”
—Peter Smithers, 34, Pittsburgh, PA

Christine M. Coppa is a New York City-based freelance writer.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.

‘My boyfriend has no ambition’

Dr. Gail Saltz advises a girl on what to do about her unmotivated partner
By Gail Saltz
TODAYShow.com contributor

Q. I love my boyfriend and have never been happier, but he has no ambition. While it's not a problem now because we are young and I am still in college, I am afraid it will be one day down the line. He has absolutely no dreams other than to live life. But he has so much talent and he takes brilliant pictures. If he had the motivation to apply himself, he could be a great photographer.

I feel this is a problem because I have big dreams and when I am done with school, I am going for them. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man and I do not want him to settle for anything less than his best or my best, for that matter. How do I help him believe in himself and make him see that there is more to life?

A. You might not be able to.

It’s not clear what elements go into making a person driven or ambitious, but obviously this personality characteristic comprises many factors. Some people are born with a more intense, assertive, demonstrative temperament than others. There is also a psychological component to this, which you note when you ask how you can make him believe in himself. Some people are truly conflicted about succeeding and therefore avoid it.

Your assumption is that he doesn’t believe in himself and therefore he doesn’t try. That’s possible. Some people are so lacking in confidence that they don’t try because they believe they will fail.

Others merely lack intensity. They may not feel the need to be exceptionally successful, and truly find pleasure in the moment rather than striving toward the future.

It’s not that somebody who lacks drive and ambition is bad or flawed, but such a person has a different personality than you do. If this is truly a pervasive part of your boyfriend’s nature — if he never feels that any work effort is worthwhile — that can be a problem for a couple. The same goes for any big difference in a significant domain in life, such as future goals.

It sounds like you want your boyfriend to change but he is content with how he is. Pointing out how he could change, and the advantages of doing so, either will or won’t move him to action.

But if you have been trying to change him and it isn’t working, I suspect he is just a laid-back kind of guy. It may simply not be in his temperament to be competitive. If this is the case, marriage to this man will make for a lot of frustration.

If you could truly be happy to take the lead and be the breadwinner, that would be fine. In fact, some people want to be the star of their relationship and don’t do well with a competitive spouse. But if it is important to you to be part of a power team and you need a husband who shares your passion for goals and success, then this kind of difference can truly erode your future: He might get tired of hearing that you don’t like the way he is. You might end up feeling contempt and disdain for his lack of ambition. You might feel ashamed of him in the presence of your friends and colleagues.

If you have children, these issues come to bear in your parenting style. Some parents push their kids to achieve; others take a hands-off approach. This is yet another realm where you might butt heads.

So if you can’t change your man’s behavior and you can’t change your own attitude, you should take a pause and examine whether this relationship can work well for the long term. This isn’t a small, easily-ignored issue.

Look inside yourself to see if this will be an ongoing source of disappointment and frustration for you, and if you will always wish to turn your man into something he is not. It might be worth exploring this issue with a couples counselor, who could shed further insight with an objective third-party view.

Dr. Gail’s Bottom Line: A fundamental difference in life approaches can erode a relationship if one partner doesn’t take action.

Dr. Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor to TODAY. Her latest book is “Anatomy of a Secret Life: The Psychology of Living a Lie.” She is also the author of “Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts,” which helps parents deal with preschoolers’ questions about sex and reproduction. Her first book, “Becoming Real: Overcoming the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back,” was published in 2004 by Riverhead Books. It is now available in a paperback version. For more information, you can visit her Web site, www.drgailsaltz.com.

Mistakes You Must Avoid If You Want Your Boyfriend Back

By Gillian Reynolds

Meeting a man you believe to be the "one" can completely change a woman's life. Everything in her world will seem ideal and in its place. If that same man then suddenly decides that the relationship isn't what he wants, it can feel as though the earth is falling into pieces. Sometimes in relationships both people don't feel the same things at exactly the same time. One may feel they need space or the chance to date others, and if a woman is thrown into a situation where her boyfriend feels those things, it can be heart wrenching. If you are convinced your ex is the man you are destined to be with, you need to be aware of the mistakes you must avoid if you want your boyfriend back.

One common and very easy mistake to make when you are trying to win back the affection of your ex boyfriend is to talk to his friends or family about the situation. If you are close with his friends or his parents or siblings you may think that speaking with them will help smooth the way for a reunion between the two of you. This is highly unlikely. If you want your boyfriend back you must not include anyone else in your problems. He'll resent you for doing it and it may also damage the relationship he has with his family or friends. Keep the relationship issues solely between the two of you.

If you want your boyfriend back you must also avoid crying in front of him. You may think that he'll feel sorry for you if he sees you weeping about the break-up. He won't. Men don't want to feel obligated to be in any relationship out of a sense of guilt. If you whine, beg, or pout in an effort to rekindle the romance, he'll turn the other cheek. He may also stop all contact with you because your behavior makes him uncomfortable.

Ex boyfriends sometimes decide to hop right back into the dating world. If you have visions of getting back together with him, seeing him with another woman is going to feel awful. Even hearing about his dating adventures from a mutual friend will be very difficult. You must keep yourself composed though if you want your boyfriend back. The best reaction from you would be to wish him well, and to do it with a smile on your face. He won't be expecting it and that's exactly what you want. You want him to wonder what you are thinking.

When the moment arrives that he asks to talk things out be careful how you handle this. You shouldn't take a defensive tone if you really want to get back together with him. Listen to everything he says and respect his feelings. If he asks how you feel about things, be honest without being hurtful or too overly dramatic. Keep your cool and he'll respect you even more.

The way you present yourself to your ex following the break up will play a big part in whether you'll eventually reunite as a couple. Once you understand how to approach him and what you should and shouldn't be saying, you'll stand a much better chance of recapturing his attention. For more suggestions that will help you get him back, visit this helpful site!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gillian_Reynolds

Is Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend Cheating? Here's The Quick And Easy Way To Find Out

By Doug Timlin

If you have ever wondered whether your spouse or partner is cheating, you probably have your reasons to be suspicious. Obviously you deserve to know the truth about whether they are being faithful to you - here's an easy way to find out.

This method has caught many cheaters in the past, and has also put people's mind at ease by revealing that their partner was being faithful.

There are three steps to this "investigation" - Let's go through them one-by-one.

Step #1
Your first step is to get a hold of your partner's cell phone. You want to be able to have a look at it for about 10-15 minutes, so choose an appropriate time to do this!

A good time to do this is when he or she has just jumped in the shower or has stepped out the store and left their home at phone. Just make sure you have enough time without running the risk of getting caught.

When you have their phone in hand, go through both the "incoming" and "outgoing" call lists.
Grab a pen and paper and write down every phone number on both lists. If you recognize for sure certain phone numbers you can leave them off, but make sure you jot down every other number.

When you are done this, put the phone back where you found it and head over to your computer with your list of numbers.

Step #2
This is when you get to play "detective" and find out exactly who your spouse is talking to. This is the most important step!

There are ways to find out exactly who is the owner of any cell phone. By doing a reverse phone search you can find out someone's name, address, location details and background information.
You will be running a search on each number that you have on your list. You want to know exactly who your spouse is talking to.

Nowadays, over half of active phone numbers are either unlisted or from cell phones. These numbers are not in any phonebook so you can't find any details on them by running a free search.

However, there are specialized investigative companies that pay good money to have access to all phone records. They use this information to compile databases of listed, unlisted and cell phone numbers and let you search through them.

Since these companies have to pay for these records, they charge a fee to use their services. It isn't expensive and the better ones will guarantee their results.

To save some cash, look for a service that only charges a one-time fee for unlimited searches.
Since your list will most likely have more than one number, you don't want to have to pay for each individual search. This way, you will only be billed once and will be able to run as many searches as you want - both now and in the future.

Find out the details on every phone number on your list. Write down what you find for each number as you go through them

Step #3
Now that you have a list of all the numbers that are on your spouse's phone and the names of who these numbers belong to, it's time to look over your results and see if anything looks suspicious.

Many times, there might be someone in particular that you suspect your partner might be cheating on you with. Does their name show up frequently? Are there other names that look suspicious to you?

You have all the details at this point about who your spouse has been talking to and can easily see if there is anything "fishy" going on. This is the step where you are most likely to reveal "the truth" - hopefully you find what you are looking for.

Worrying that you have a cheating girlfriend, boyfriend or spouse can be extremely troubling. This easy "detective work" can give you the answers you need quickly to determine if you are being treated with the respect you deserve.

Go to http://www.easyreversecellphonelookup.com to run a free sample search and get an idea of how this works. Bookmark the page if you don't have your list with you.

Try a free sample Reverse Cell Phone Lookup to get full information on any phone number.
Click Here to get started!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Doug_Timlin