Your First Gay Date No-No

By Eking Huang

So, you got your first gay date at last! But it is not the end of your hard - long and winding road to find your soul mate. In fact, it is just your beginning of more heartbreak journey. Your first date moves will produces more second date or unfortunately a closed door even before you've tried to open it.

" Knock---Knock! Sorry. I'm not at home. I know you are out there but get out of my door".

1.Pick the wrong Place!
Make sure you pick the right place for your first date. Check and make sure if he's out to his family, friends and how he feels about it. It will be awfully nasty awkward to find him keeping his eyes popping out since you take him to the place where he usually hangs out and he's afraid of running into someone who may know or suspect him of being gay. Oh, my GOSH--- He's gorgeous but he's not OUT.

Suggest a meeting during your office lunch break will be ideal. You both probably are in your formal office suit and meeting other guy this way make impression that you are having a lunch meeting with your client discussing new deals not with your boy friend.

I know it's not romantic but seeing him during lunch break will give more opportunity to you. Especially, if you are the one who is not out. It takes your worries away. You will be more relax and be your full self.

Since the lunch time hour is limited, and during one-hour time, you will practically eat, talk and be ready to hit back to your office. You don't have to invent any excuses to run away once you find out your date is a boy from hell. In contrary, if you have find mutual attraction you will crave to see him very soon and will ensure more dates

2. Make him wait.
Being late will imprint your bad image and a sure thing your love will not going any where in future. You make it worse if you are making out excuses. We always, somehow, are able to find it out sooner or later. Believe me.

Come at least half an hour earlier, and make yourself comfortable, relax and you will be less stressful once you see him face to face.

3. Make and receive phone call during date
Don't do it. You will give him impression that you are not interested in him and show little attention to your conversation. First date is a mutual interview process to get to know more each other. But if you are not interested...it's be your first and last date.

It's yikee - yikee if every 10 minutes he has to cut your conversation to make phone call or busy SMS-ing. Unless your house is on fire and the call from the police office, turn your cell phone OFF. If you feel trapped with this boy and need a rescue, please do it discreetly.

3. Dominate all the conversation - Another big turn-off. You don't have to show off your attribute, asset, traits or your riches and don't talk about your ex-es, whining about your bad experience with him, and how bad he treated you. Your past is past - don't dig it. You are here to start fresh new start with your potential date. He's not your shrink! Your conversation should come in a natural way of give and take style conversation.

4. Don't bring your friend on your date.
Pheww!! Am I dating you or your friend? You aren't suggesting a 3some, are you? Come on. Bringing your friend over is the least-thing you should do. It's stressful for both of you during the first date meeting but having friend come by was even more stressful.

5. Make him foot the bill
Since he's the one who ask you out-let him foot all bill, right? It's simply a courtesy of gentleman in straight love scene. But we are not. It makes me feel guilty and feel like a woman if I let my date foot the entire bill. I prefer to go on Dutch so I don't feel oblige to ask him out for second date just to return the favor.

http://www.privategaypersonals.comMore dating tips and gay health issue

Should Gays And Lesbians Be Allowed Civil Unions But Not Marriage?

By Elaine Sihera

Yes they should be allowed this for three main reasons.

1. The term marriage is synonymous with reproduction as a definite purpose. That has been the main reason for people getting hitched and sharing a life together down the centuries. That reason might have lost emphasis over the years but it is still acknowledged as the heart of marriage and long-term relations. Marriage has always been a religious act ever since the Church took it over in the 12th century. It means that the ceremony itself has been indicative of the symbol of love and affection between two people and their desire to procreate and continue our species.

2. A gay couple might not love each other any differently than a heterosexual couple, but they cannot reproduce anything. In fact, left up to gay couples, our species would die out within a generation. When one chooses a lifestyle which goes against the natural order of continuing our world, and adding to it, then the same rules cannot be applied in exact measure. Without doubt, gay people also needed a public affirmation ceremony to show that they too share commitment, loyalty and love, but that cannot be called a 'marriage', in every sense of the word, because there will be no unaided reproduction. A civil union is apt in their case because it is a civil partnership, not a religious one which adheres to religious teachings around both genders.

3. Gays cannot have it both ways. They cannot insist on being acknowledged as different from the rest of most of society in their sexuality, yet want all the trimmings etc which goes with being heterosexual. Anything new in society carries new rules, new accessories, a new order of seeing and perceiving. It is inevitable that there will be new untried approaches to how gays are treated, with lots of trial and error, until what feels comfortable by all sections of society is accepted. Moreover, gays can't be at pains to point out their sexual difference and expect to be treated as such, yet be heterosexual in their provisions.

In simple terms, a marriage is for a heterosexual couple. Gays are not heterosexual. It stands to reason that something else needs to be introduced which suits gays and their situation and is equally acceptable to them. I think a civil union is a very good start because it has full legal backing. It means gays and their relationships can no longer be ignored or treated as invisible and it also lays the foundation for other gradual developments which are both suitable to the gay community and accepted by the majority.

ELAINE SIHERA (www.myspace.com/elaineone) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and lifestyle columnist. Confidential advice on personal/relationship issues is available on the quiz site. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a Personal Empowerment, Relationships and Diversity Consultant. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards.

She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous and Ready to Fly!"