My Spoiled Dog and Spoiled Rugs

By Jan Gamm

Two thirds of the floors in my house are covered in ceramic tiles. The rest is carpeted. Tell me, why is it that my dog has to vomit on the carpet? I have actually observed him, in his nauseous quest for somewhere to throw up, search through the house for a convenient rug, then chuck up all over it, rather than stay where he was and be sick onto the tiles, which are oh so much easier to clean.

Dogs are strange creatures, I have decided. Our pooch is particularly spoiled, as we rescued him from an unhappy life and we believe we should somehow atone for his early misery. As a result he has grown in dignity and craftiness. He can hear a treat packet being opened from fifty yards, and he knows by instinct when his bath is being planned and manages to escape capture indefinitely.

There is one corner of our garden which is thickly covered with a bush giving out sticky burr-like woody beads, and these little beads can entwine themselves into our dog’s long fur and resist all efforts to extract them. He makes a bee line for this bush every time he goes out, in spite of going through numerous painful sessions of burr extractions from his face, legs and undercarriage. I am now certain he does it for attention, as he knows if he is covered in sticky burrs, then someone must remove them.

The latest foible of this spoilt mutt is to refuse to eat his dinner unless my husband and I are sitting next to him. This sounds little enough to do for him after his early traumas, but in fact it can be very inconvenient to give up that particular ten minutes of the day, especially as it coincides with the preparation time of our own meal. All the same, we do sit there like two idiots, totally in the control of this small furry despot.

Someone suggested to me we need to take him to obedience classes, but I really think that what we need is a doggie psychiatrist. Or perhaps just a psychiatrist.

Jan Gamm writes reflections on life with an emphasis on world travel. She has lived in many countries and traveled extensively in the Far East, the Middle East, America, South America and throughout the South Pacific. She writes for fun and for money whenever she can manage it.